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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How do you make friends? I have none. Ok, I have my boyfriend. I had one other but her phone is turned off, havn't talked to her in ages, seen her in months. Shes married with a child anyways.
Blegh, I just had to delet like 5 minutes worth of writing, fuck the drunken woe is me bit
So anways, how do you make them?
Number one rule, "hey, why don't you join a club or a grup, yayhehehe" is not an option.
I talk to people at work, but they are all 10 years older than I. I seem alot older than 21 apperantly, and they seem alot younger than 30.
I'm starting school in Sept. I have this far off dream that that will do me some good but I know deep down that it probably wont. When I was friendless in highschool I did postsecondary (go to college) and hope to make friends. Out of the two years I went, I didnt' talk to one single person.
But now, I've overcome my social anxiety phobias (aka my drugs have changed) So how do I do it?
My biggest fear, I'll try to make friends and they'll see me as a lesbian. Thinking I'm hitting on them as opposed to the pathetic fact that I'm 21 and have no friends.
I got unengaged for the fact that I had none. Ed had tons and the only person that could be my bridesmaid was my sister. You cant' have a wedding when the person involved has nobody to invite.
Fuck I'm crying... I'm so lonley... I don't want the woe is me thread, but I can't help it.
I had people, then at a party one day my good friends brother took advantage of my drunkenness... a year later she found out, told me I was lying and a bitch and everybody I knew sided with her. I had one person left, I got a boyfriend, she was always a psycho bitch, no offense, but I met Ed, less than a week later, for no reason she started yelling at me for every single thing. Never spoke to me since.
Now there is noone. And I don't know how to change that.
Now I sit on the internet because I have nobody else to turn to. Don't feel like being by Ed, feel like chilling with others... got nobody but strangers.
Blegh, I just had to delet like 5 minutes worth of writing, fuck the drunken woe is me bit
So anways, how do you make them?Number one rule, "hey, why don't you join a club or a grup, yayhehehe" is not an option.
I talk to people at work, but they are all 10 years older than I. I seem alot older than 21 apperantly, and they seem alot younger than 30.
I'm starting school in Sept. I have this far off dream that that will do me some good but I know deep down that it probably wont. When I was friendless in highschool I did postsecondary (go to college) and hope to make friends. Out of the two years I went, I didnt' talk to one single person.
But now, I've overcome my social anxiety phobias (aka my drugs have changed) So how do I do it?
My biggest fear, I'll try to make friends and they'll see me as a lesbian. Thinking I'm hitting on them as opposed to the pathetic fact that I'm 21 and have no friends.
I got unengaged for the fact that I had none. Ed had tons and the only person that could be my bridesmaid was my sister. You cant' have a wedding when the person involved has nobody to invite.
Fuck I'm crying... I'm so lonley... I don't want the woe is me thread, but I can't help it.
I had people, then at a party one day my good friends brother took advantage of my drunkenness... a year later she found out, told me I was lying and a bitch and everybody I knew sided with her. I had one person left, I got a boyfriend, she was always a psycho bitch, no offense, but I met Ed, less than a week later, for no reason she started yelling at me for every single thing. Never spoke to me since.
Now there is noone. And I don't know how to change that.
Now I sit on the internet because I have nobody else to turn to. Don't feel like being by Ed, feel like chilling with others... got nobody but strangers.
0
Comments
what a touching story
well
some of us are just not social people :crying: :crying: :crying:
i read somewhere that it helps to focus on the other person instead of yourself and what you think you're doing 'wrong'
Its still hard.
Thank you though, very much
How do you go about doing it? After a test say, hey, hard test, lets go for a drink. I could do that. Its along ways away. Still though, so long.
Fuckc me, I'm just ranting. I should go to bed and hope I just dreamed writing this thread.
i don't know
i'm not that social either
i know that is a strange question, but if you do you'll find you drift towards the smokers anyway
if not, look for other people that kind of hang to the sidelines and just start talking to them, even if it's about random stuff, and see if you hit it off :yes:
basically, just start talking to someome about something, may be invite them for a drink and see if you hit it off... and take it from there.
The weird thing, Welsh, I started smoking for the same reason. When I was 17/18 I had that, well at least I'll be able to talk to the other smokers during break. Though when the time came I never ended up saying a word. Too shy. Too nervous. I've actually contemplated starting again for that reason, as weird as that may sound, but its been about a year since I have smoked and decided against it.
But we'll see. Lots of things have changed since I was in school last.
Thank you all very much for your nice words. It truely means *alot*
Or you can ask if anyone wants to join you for a drink after work (although the downside is that if no one says yes, you'd feel bad)
Do you have a hobby?
Is there an event you can go to where you can meet people who are interested in things you are interested in?
Like a trekkie convention (hehe sorry, bad joke)
The key is to be comfortable in your own skin, to love yourself, that will immediately make you attractive to others (you might already be that) and that way people will come and talk to you because they can feel the confidence you exude.
Do you wanna learn another language? Maybe you can post an ad in the paper saying you'd like to organize a Spanish Study group for instance and you are looking for like minded people etc etc
Are there Ann Summers parties in Illinois? Maybe you go and attend one...
Hope any of this makes sense...
However, if you don't then you can come and bunk in our spare room and I'll be your friend. Only if you are mine though
Nope. Manda is mine. All mine
Friendship group?
I'm guessing the above doesnt really describe you very well so how about just acting laid back? When you start school introduce yourself to people, try to latch onto the little groups that will no doubt form and you will soon find people battling for your attention.
In college last year our group was separated into about 3 smaller groups of friends but i made friends with pretty much every single person - i was the only one in the whole group to do this - and i always got invited to everything because of this so it was worth making the effort to talk to people.
Dont expect everyone to be your new best mate though because some people can still be idiots and think they're better than others, although im sure you've already found this with people everywhere. All im saying is talk to people, make the effort to say and and ask a bit about them but dont put everything on it, if someone doesnt make any effort back after say a week or two then dont bother with them until they do.
Hope this helps manda
can i join?
Whats a smile?