Does anyone still see their ex?

Former Member

I know recently a lot of people here have been trying to come to terms with break ups, but I was wondering if anyone who's been through it, still sees their ex?

For another question, would you feel confortable with your partner still seeing their ex?

Former Member

I don't talk to any of my exes except one who is a good friend to me.

I wouldn't be happy with my partner seeing their ex no but thats me being silly. Theres no reason why exes shouldn't remain friends.

Former Member

All but one; and that's only because he lives in Austria. We're not best chums frolicking through fields and making daisy chains but they were all a very signifigant part of my life for varying periods of time and I like to keep in touch, it can be fun seeing them again.

Half of my boyfriend's social circle is made up of exes, so it would be very awkward if I wasn't comfortable with it. We get on like a house on fire though and it's always good to compare notes

Former Member

I still see my ex, we was brillant friends before we started dating so we decided to stay really good friends. We talk about people who we like and we feel so at ease with each other. I trust him and he trusts me.

Former Member

Nope...

Former Member

Only for the sake of my son.
I was friends with a different ex of mine for a while years back, but every time I saw him I kept thinking "for fucks sake, ive heard this story 50 thousand times - how the hell did i live with this"
I think exes are exes for a reason tbh. I think its obviously better if youre not bitter and twisted about them, but I have no desire to be friends with my ex.

Former Member

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Former Member

I don't stay in touch as so, but we all have mutual friends, and when I see them, I'll more than willingly have a chat with them.

Only a couple of my exes have turned into complete arseholes, and luckily one of them has moved to Yorkshire, so I don't see or speak to him. The other is permantently stoned these days, so I don't think he quite knows who I am.... or at least, doesn't remember me being with him.

My nice exes are OK though, I chat to them when I see them, and we can have a giggle about the past. My boyfriend isn't overly keen on them, because they're my exes, but he chats to his exes occasionally too, and I don't particularly like that. So we keep quiet about it and it's easily ignored

Former Member

I see all my significant exes and can still talk and get on with them. Didn't happen overnight though. One I've started seeing again as mates and we still get on like a house on fire.
I've just cut all contact with a recent ex which is a shame cos we were best mates for 4-5years, really close mates at that but once I started seeing her she started being weird and doing shitty things to me every week, I don't need mates like that when I've got plenty who respect me greatly.
I still see most of my 1/2/3 nighters weekly aswell as I've being through quite a few girls from my local pubs and the surrounding areas and I get on great with them all still. Wouldn't exactly call them exes though, just bits of fun and both knowing the situation where it was just sex and nothing serious.

Former Member

Nope. My ex was an 'ex' for a reason. I wouldn't be happy if my boyfriend was seeing his ex's, but that's being all irrational and paranoid.

Former Member

I would still be friends with one of my exes, if they were local. Hmmm, and I'm still friends with my special-friends...

Former Member

my boyfriend is still good friends with his ex. and no it doesn't bother me because of that little thing called 'trust'.

Former Member

Yeah, I keep in touch. Not very much though - right after we split up we had to stay in touch quite a lot because of 'outside' commitments, but it wasn't an issue. Until I got sick of her trying to boss me around, so I pissed her off in a rather big way .

But yeah, we still talk. Only through email, and probably only a handful of emails every couple of months. They may be exes for a reason, but they can't be all bad unless you're a really bad judge of character .

Former Member

No, I'm not friends with any of my exes. Like a lot of people have said, we split up for a reason, why would I want to be with them and be reminded of it still? I think with relationships you tend to either love or hate the person. I have no hard feelings against my exes, but I just can't be friends with them.

Yes, I would have a problem if my girlfriend was friendly with her exes. Luckily all my previous girlfriends have had the same attitude as me, so no problems there.

Former Member

lipsy wrote:

it doesn't bother me because of that little thing called 'trust'.

I do trust him, don't get me wrong. He's one of the few men in my life I do trust. I've found it hard to trust men in my life ever since a man who was close to me had an affair.

Former Member

your-babe wrote:

I do trust him, don't get me wrong. He's one of the few men in my life I do trust. I've found it hard to trust men in my life ever since a man who was close to me had an affair.

i wasn't directing that at you.

i just think that if i was to get jealous and say he can't be friends with his ex who is actually his friend now then it would just drive him away. also i have lots of male friends and so expect the same trust back.

Former Member

lipsy wrote:

i wasn't directing that at you.

i just think that if i was to get jealous and say he can't be friends with his ex who is actually his friend now then it would just drive him away. also i have lots of male friends and so expect the same trust back.

Ok sorry
From what I know, he doesn't want anything to do with his last ex in particular and shares the same view as me about splitting up for a reason, but I wouldn't say to him that he couldn't see her, as like you said, it would drive him away.

Former Member

I'm not friends with any of them, but I am still vaguely in touch with most, and would say hi and stop for a chat if I saw them in the street.

Friendly, but not friends - that's my ex rule :yes:

Former Member

I am talking to my ex right now on MSN.

Former Member

I havent seen my ex since we finished, but we are friends and do keep in touch by text/email/phone. my oh isnt very happy about the idea, but hes not as fussy about it as he first was.

I think tho id feel a bit awquard if it was the other way round *shrug*

Former Member

red_jelly wrote:

Like a lot of people have said, we split up for a reason, why would I want to be with them and be reminded of it still?

I disagree. It depends on why you broke up - if it was just because you'd stopped working as a couple and would be better off as friends, I can't see any problem with being friends. That's why me and my ex broke up and we're still friends.

Former Member

wildchild wrote:

I disagree. It depends on why you broke up - if it was just because you'd stopped working as a couple and would be better off as friends, I can't see any problem with being friends. That's why me and my ex broke up and we're still friends.

I suppose, but for me I don't think there would be a situaiton where I would still want to have contact with an ex. Even if we broke up because we stopped working as a couple, I wouldn't be able to get over the fact that we were once so close. There would be too much history to make a friendship on any level work. Like I said before, I have nothing against my exs and wish them all the best, I just don't want contact with them.

I guess some people can make it work, just not me.

Former Member

I'm really close with one of my exes, even though we split up pretty badly. It's good that were still really good friends - we just get on so well, and its purely friendship now. His girlfriend isn't too happy that we get on so well though, although we hardly see each other much.

Former Member

yeh i'm still mates with my ex. hope it stays that way!

Former Member

I still talk to my first ex occasionally on MSN (though not everytime we're both online) but it's all very strained - not really because of the way we broke up (he slept with my best mate) but because I don't really get on with him as a person anymore. Don't understand him now and can't believe I ever did! He also now treats everything as a competition - he's currently on a six month trip to America and he's boasted nonstop about it, even though I've told him many times I have neither the money nor desire to do it myself so he's hardly making me jealous!

Another ex is on my MySpace friends list and we recently briefly exchanged a "what have you been upto for the last four years?" chat there, but that's it.

And my "most recent" ex (bearing in mind I've been with my boyfriend for two years now!) is constantly hounding me on MSN (right now, actually) about us getting back together and how things could be wonderful between us! We were only seeing each other for about three weeks!

My boyfriend recently saw his ex and went for a coffee with her. It didn't bother me at all - I think he was more freaked out at it than me! Had a giggle about it later with him, and he's - surprisingly - heard no more from her.

Former Member

Well, my boyfriend hates his ex now, with a fiery passion. I hope that's not a way things could end with us, but she did sorta make out with one of his very close friends, and then go out with another one soon after they broke up. I don't know how I would feel if they got on, either with her or any other random ex. I think so long as I knew their relationship was purely friendship with no chance of them getting back together and no more chemistry, then I hope I wouldn't have that much problem with it.

He really doesn't like the idea of me getting on with his ex though. I sorta started talking to her again just to make things easier (used to be pretty close to her) but he doesn't like it.

Maybe just because she's a great source of amusement to us. It would be a shame if I started liking her.

Former Member

kaffrin wrote:

Friendly, but not friends - that's my ex rule :yes:

probably a good rule.

Former Member

Me and my ex tried the friends thing, but that came to a rapid halt when I found out he'd been seeing another lass for a couple of weeks whilst still giving me all the 'I still have feelings for you' bullshit. I was upset and stopped making the effort to contact him, and he never made any effort back so *shrug*

I still see him because we work together. I hate it, but I get on with things and don't let it affect me. I get the impression he avoids me at all possible opportunities, unless he's with this new lass (well, not so new now) when he seems to feel the need to flaunt it. Again, *shrug*

What I find harder is that I still see his family from time to time round town or whatever, and they always say how much they miss me, and how I should come round sometime and we can all catch up, blah blah. I was even invited to his sister's wedding on Saturday. It's nice, but really awkward, cos I'd be much happier having nowt to do with him at all any more.

Former Member

Nope, the potential shit that could happen (left over feelings, partner worrying about it etc) total outweigh any good that could possibly come of it.

I've not got any exes that are amazing people that I just have to keep in contact with, just girls that I happened to go out with but don't really give a shit about anymore.

If she was in contact with her ex, then I wouldn't really worry about it too much.

Former Member

didnt get on with one of the ex's for ages.. still nearly had a heart attack every time i bumped into her!

get on fine now but tbh life was a lot simplier with her off the scene.. but in general id prefer to be on good terms

Skive

A few of my ex girlfriends live in little village I do, so yes I see them a fair bit. I'm still friends them anyway, one of them's getting married to a mate of mine in August.