ex hangup flashbacks

BillieTheBot

i was with my ex for 2 and a half years, 2 years of love and passion joined at the hip, then 6 months of the same old arguments culminating in an amicable but painfull breakup, we were still in love for the most part but knew that it wasnt working so let go, this was october 05,

i havent had a girl since although i met one who was amazing but attached, yet now whenever i see my ex i want her back so bad, she looks amazing and all i can remember are the good times, i make myself remember the bad to stop myself going back there, i was never organised enough for her, she is a very ordered person, whereas i thrive on spur of the moment and i'll sort it out tomorrow's

this hasnt gone away it would still be there if we got back together, but part of me is still in love with her and i cant let it go, having never been attached to or deeply involved with anyone like this before, how do i get over her? is it still love or am i just lonely so i project it onto her? any ideas?

**helen**

Hi Shitehawk,

When we're involved in a passionate loving relationship, I don't think any of us quite contemplate how painful it will be if the time comes when we have to let go. However, in your case, it's been less than a year since the split, and you still see you ex, so it's no wonder the break still feels raw.

To be honest - so far your attitude is to be admired - not only do you remember the good things about your relationship, but you also acknowledge that your different outlooks on life were the cause of your problems - who wants to be with someone who doesn't love them for who they are afterall? So, far so good.

However, the key issue seems to be moving on. It sounds like you're spot on when you suggest that your feelings of loneliness are causing you to miss your ex more. Firstly, is it possible that you can avoid her for a while, at least until you are confident that your life can continue without a void where she was in you life.

In the mean time it's really important to try and surround yourself with friends, find a new interest, remember the fun 'spur of the moment' times and grab them. Soon enough time will start passing and you will realise suddenly realise you haven't been thinking about your ex everyday for a week (at least not in a way that cause you pain). I'm probably making it sound easier than it is, but IMO, if you want to move on - you will.

Have a look at this article if you get a chance.

Take care

Former Member

when you meet someone, the feelings will fade away and new feelings will come for this new girl. you'll learn to love again

Former Member

I know the feeling all too well! Im still hoping time as it goes on will continue to help. And I agree with what David Grohl has said. As Im thinking a new someone may have possibly arrived.