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How long to leave it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
About a week ago I got the number of a guy I like (long story but my frined got it from me from his friend without me knowing, because I was too chicken to talk to him myself - childish but there you go).

Anyway I texted him explaining how I'd got his number and stuff. He replied a couple of days later and over the next couple of days we texted quite a bit - he sent a text saying he'd be at work (we worked together but he's left now) and it was my day off...anyway he eventually said that yes he did want to go out for a drink sometime (that was the first text I sent him; asking if he wanted to go out for a drink or whatever), and I haven't heard anything since.

That was on tuesday so it's only been 4 days, but I'm just kind of wondering how long I should leave it before I know he's not interested - don't want to text him in case I seem a bit desperate (which I'm not, lol - got a few guys intertested atm! yay :D )

So, yeah - should I text him or not?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, text him. Whats the point in keep thinking "do i" or "dont i" constantly? If you want to know the answer then the simple solution is to text him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's because I texted him in the first place, so I'm not sure if he actually wants to get to know me better, or if he felt he had to cos I'd texted him.

    I was thinking of just texting to say hi, maybe I'll do that. Casual :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tallulah83 wrote:
    I think it's because I texted him in the first place, so I'm not sure if he actually wants to get to know me better, or if he felt he had to cos I'd texted him.

    I was thinking of just texting to say hi, maybe I'll do that. Casual :-)

    but it wont get you an answer, will it!

    If he didnt want to get to know you he wouldnt have said yes to going out.

    Its more likely that he's forgotton, or thought that your not as keen any more than thinking your desperate. He wont think your desperate after leaving it 4 days, desperate is when you bombard someone with texts every day

    Just text him and ask if he's still up for going out, and if so then you need to arrangea time+place (or suggest a time&place) before you make other plans, then leave it at that. If he doesnt do anything about it then assume he's not interested. If he does then you have what you wanted
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok that sounds like a plan.

    Thanks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He could have a genuine reason for not texting you back - like work or problems with his phone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think u should get a copy of 'The Rules'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think u should get a copy of 'The Rules'
    :lol: my friend swears by that.



    anyway as for this guy, i'm sorry to say but i don't think he's that interested.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lipsy, I'm thinking the same as you tbh. Lol.
    What is it that makes you think that by the way? Just curious :)

    Oh and btw I did text him yesterday, he didn't reply but came into my workplace yesterday evening (apparently to go to the post office, even though he works for the PO so should know that most branches close at 12.30 on a saturday).
    He kind of hung around nearby until I'd finished serving customers, then when I went over to chat to my friend Hayley he came over and started talking. I sort of wandered off (I'm easily bored! Lol) but I must have looked so rude! :eek: Didn't think at the time...anyway when I walked off he said "I'm going now anyway girls...bye" and went.

    Hayley came over and asked what was going on with me and him, and when I asked what she meant she said "just the way he was with you...he kept talking to you and stuff!".

    He's going away for a few days now anyway so I'll see if he gets in touch when he comes back. Not holding my breath though! Lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would just leave it, he dont sound interested in you. And it not as if you are in love with him so why the big deal?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Didn't think I was making a big deal, was just wondering if he did actually like me or not:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So did you text are not?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes she did. Did you read her last post?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know, all this texting business can be so confusing. initially i didn't think he was interested because it took him a couple of days to reply and then you didn't hear from him for 4days. but guys can be stupid sometimes and so he might have been trying to 'play it cool'. but generally i think if a guy is interested then they will act interested because they mostly like the thrill of the chase.

    every guy is different though. he might have been taken aback by you texting in the first place and he might not be that forward. its a good sign that he came into work to talkt o you though.

    i've no idea tbh!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm...I think he is interested, maybe shy?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well not sure if he came in to see me or genuinely did need to go to the post office! Lol.

    Really the only reason I'm asking for your advice is because I don't want to waste my time on a guy that's not interested - I'm tempted to just leave it and not bother with him, but then I'd be thinking 'what if', and I hate that.

    Thinking back it hasn't all been me texting him - I mean, he's sent a few texts just saying hi and asking how I am without me texting him first, and yesterday when he came into work it seemed like he was kind of making excuses to talk to me - saying random stuff just to get me talking.
    Also seemed like he mentioned going away for a reason - possibly explaining why he hadn't been texting much recently, or why we wont be able to go for a drink for a while - or maybe he was trying to put me off him?!

    Sorry for being a bit of a drama queen with this, I'm sure it seems trivial to most people but I'm just trying to work out whether this guy's worth thinking about, or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So has anyone else got a clue what's going on with this guy??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're thinking about him, he's worth thinking about.

    And if you want to know what's going on with him, ask him. Maybe he's interested and a bit shy. Maybe he's enjoying a bit of casual attention. Maybe the interest is all in your head. He's the only one who can give you a definitive answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think hes really interested in you. if he was hed constantly call you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That makes sense, but tbh if he's got a someone after him, threatening with breadknives and wrecking his car then I don't expect him to be calling me all the time!

    Then again if he does have someone after him, he's probably not the type of guy I need around me atm...

    I'll see if he gets back in touch when he's back home.

    Anymore advice/insight would be appreciated though.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    wildchild wrote:
    If you're thinking about him, he's worth thinking about.

    And if you want to know what's going on with him, ask him. Maybe he's interested and a bit shy. Maybe he's enjoying a bit of casual attention. Maybe the interest is all in your head. He's the only one who can give you a definitive answer.

    I agree :yes: Could you suggest meeting up, you and your mates going somewhere the same time as him and his mates - anything that might help you gauge his interest better.
    rairaib wrote:
    I dont think hes really interested in you. if he was hed constantly call you.

    Not necessarily - he may not want to seem too keen, or as Tallulah said, he may be really pre-occupied.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I could do...I was thinking of phoning or texting but I'm not sure what to say - the thing is there's another guy who's interested in me...we've been out once already and I kind of want this guy to know about it, not because I'm showing off or anything but just so he knows I'm not excusively fancying him atm - I do lile this guy, but I'm not gonna wait around forever waiting for him to take me out for a drink! Thing is I'm not sure how to word it - don't want him to get the wrong impression.

    I also kind of want to wait for him to make the next move. If I keep contacting him then I won't know if he's actually interested, or just replying because he feels he has to.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    I'm a bit confused now - is this your problem or Tallulahs?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh sorry, didn't explain that bit did I!

    Same pc, alasia's my sister's username/account. Only found out this morning that she comes on here too! It's very confusing...

    I'm using her account and she stays signed in all the time - actually I'd better sign out and in again as myself.

    Is this making sense? Don't really understand computers and stuff.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Ah I see, yeah better to sign in as yourself so we don't get mixed up
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry...I went straight on the computer after her so didn't think *blushes*

    It's weird, because she posted in this thread without knowing I was me..and I was doing the same - nmadness! lol.

    But anyway, sorry for the confusion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm still confused people...lol.

    Since he came into work last saturday, I've seen this guy once - I didn't expect to see him again (he told me a week or so ago that it was his "last few days" doing the job) so when he was in work I kind of avoided him the best I could.

    I got put on the till near him so was just getting on with work, I saw him looking over a few times but we didn't really speak - apart from when I was talking to this woman I work with (she's the one who got his number for me in the first place - without me knowing), and he bought something and went to the self service tills (where I was standing talking to Val). He said hi to me (used my name, which he doesn't normally do - it's usualy "hi trouble", or "hey darlin!", which seems a bit patronising but hey!)
    Anyway I said hi back and kind of looked away, then Val asked how he was and he started going on about how he'd been in a "head on crash" in wales at the weekend! I'd just been telling Val about his other stories and that I thought he was a compulsive liar or something, so Val said she could see what I meant and would try and find out what was going on. See if he told her the same stories.
    Anyway he left soon after that, and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I've deleted his number from my phone and everything, assuming he's not interested - but then I thought "what if"?

    Could there be another explaination for the way he's acting? I do tend to ignore him in work, so maybe I'm giving out mixed signals and he's confused? Or do you think he's just messing me around?

    Should I call or text him or something, or not bother?

    Please help!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Call him if hes anything like me he'll prefer it.

    I hate text messages they can make or break relationships normally the latter. They are too unattached at least with a phonecall its direct communication
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If a girl is TOO hard to get, then he isnt going to be interested. He probably thinks that you arent interested as you keep ignoring him.

    Just call him, ask him out some night for a drink and see how it goes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah that makes sense I guess...it's not like I'm deliberately ignoring him, it just kind of happens :rolleyes:

    Anyway I'll try calling him and asking him out for a drink directly - I'm just worried about pissing him off...if he doesn't like me, won't calling him just annoy him? lol.
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