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Not sure whether his behaviour means anything
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry this is a bit long, but I've got myself a confusing situation here. There's this guy, let's call him B. I asked him out a year and half ago but nothing happened and since then we've become very close friends. This year I've been away on my year abroad and last week I went to university for the last week of term to see friends... and B's behaviour seemed a little strange, I'm not sure what to make of it.
Last year we were very close, we shared secrets and he described me as a sister. We were also kind of touchy-feely, in that sometimes when we were tired one of us would rest our head on the other's shoulder, and he'd get me to sit with my legs across his feet to keep them warm when we were watching a DVD together.
At New Year I was back in the country and we both got wasted at a New Year party and pulled, although neither of us remember it - someone told me and then when I told B, his response was "Oops, drunken flirty accident." It didn't affect the friendship at all, everything stayed as normal.
Then last week B was very attentive towards me, sending me random texts (which he never used to do - I've had more texts from him in the past fortnight that I've ever had) and phoning me most days to see where I was (again, not usual behaviour). But I guess it could be because he's missed me. We shared secrets from the past year and he told me that he tells me things because "you're like a sister, in some ways."
But the strange thing was that one night while we were watching a DVD he told me to lie down next to him on the bed, then he put his arm round me and we went to sleep. Next morning he said "I enjoyed sleeping with you", so it wasn't another drunken flirty accident or anything... I'm not sure what it was, there was nothing sexual, just two friends sharing a bed, except that do male and female friends normally share beds?
And this didn't just happen once, after that we shared a bed twice more. The second time he did that thing like when you're at the cinema on the first date and you want to hold hands but you're not sure if the other person wants to, so you're nervous about making the first move and doing it really gradually, and eventually we ended up holding hands.
Yesterday I came home and didn't get to say goodbye to him, and he sent me a text signed with his name and then an "x". He's never done that before, in fact he once told me that he doesn't even like "x" after names. So I really don't know what to think about that.
B's roommate has asked me if anything is going on with us, because he says it's not like B to share his bed, apart from on occasion with his best (male) friend. Basically I guess I just want some opinions about whether this is just another stage of our friendship, or whether it means something else - I never realise anything like that until someone actually comes right out with it.
Last year we were very close, we shared secrets and he described me as a sister. We were also kind of touchy-feely, in that sometimes when we were tired one of us would rest our head on the other's shoulder, and he'd get me to sit with my legs across his feet to keep them warm when we were watching a DVD together.
At New Year I was back in the country and we both got wasted at a New Year party and pulled, although neither of us remember it - someone told me and then when I told B, his response was "Oops, drunken flirty accident." It didn't affect the friendship at all, everything stayed as normal.
Then last week B was very attentive towards me, sending me random texts (which he never used to do - I've had more texts from him in the past fortnight that I've ever had) and phoning me most days to see where I was (again, not usual behaviour). But I guess it could be because he's missed me. We shared secrets from the past year and he told me that he tells me things because "you're like a sister, in some ways."
But the strange thing was that one night while we were watching a DVD he told me to lie down next to him on the bed, then he put his arm round me and we went to sleep. Next morning he said "I enjoyed sleeping with you", so it wasn't another drunken flirty accident or anything... I'm not sure what it was, there was nothing sexual, just two friends sharing a bed, except that do male and female friends normally share beds?
And this didn't just happen once, after that we shared a bed twice more. The second time he did that thing like when you're at the cinema on the first date and you want to hold hands but you're not sure if the other person wants to, so you're nervous about making the first move and doing it really gradually, and eventually we ended up holding hands.
Yesterday I came home and didn't get to say goodbye to him, and he sent me a text signed with his name and then an "x". He's never done that before, in fact he once told me that he doesn't even like "x" after names. So I really don't know what to think about that.
B's roommate has asked me if anything is going on with us, because he says it's not like B to share his bed, apart from on occasion with his best (male) friend. Basically I guess I just want some opinions about whether this is just another stage of our friendship, or whether it means something else - I never realise anything like that until someone actually comes right out with it.
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Comments
But even if I'm wrong, it's obvious you have feelings for him, so you'll have to tell him eventually. yes it may 'ruin the friendship' if he doesn't feel the same way, but it's not going to be much of a friendship if he gets a girlfriend, and you get all jealous. And if you say nothing, then this is going to happen. If you say something, it only may do, but based on what you've said so far, I reckon he's into you.
Oh, and if you do decide to tell him, give us some updates. I like to see whether I'm right, or whether I'm spouting a load of bollocks. Nice end note there, to fill you with confidence.
I definatley thinks he likes you
The change in his general behaviour is what's making me wonder - last week he seemed a lot more attentive and keen to spend time with me than last year. But as I said, that could simply be because he's missed me. I'm completely terrible at noticing when people fancy me - anyone who ends up telling me, when I think back then it's obvious but at the time I just don't see it.
I've fancied him on and off for a year and a half now, he's had girlfriends in that time and I don't like it when he first gets with them, but I get over it pretty quickly... honestly, we could just go on being friends for the rest of our lives because I'm now so used to the idea that that's all we'll ever be.
Well I won't see him until next term, so for the moment, nothing... I guess I'll see what happens when we're back at university. Everyone here seems very convinced that he likes me which would be great, since I do really like him, but it still seems hard to believe it could be true somehow!
You don't think he could just have been being extra-friendly and comforting because he knows I met someone on my year abroad that I had to leave behind?