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why is this happening?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
as embrassing as this sounds.. its also annoying.

my girlfriend and i have alerday had sex alot of times but for some reason now and then i would get an erection but it will go away like 20 seconds later or when were about to have sex. now i dont know why this is happening. and i would really like to know if this is normal or not. i was also thinking... does excerising have anything to do with this? like if i excerise would that help out at all? i find this really annoying cause i want to have sex with her and shes thinking the reason this is happening is beacuse of her and that shes not good enough. which is NOT the case what so ever. i love her and shes beautiful. i just want some help.

thank you

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stress I expect.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but what am i stressing over about?

    im like really not thinking about anything besides her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    th3on3 wrote:
    but what am i stressing over about?

    im like really not thinking about anything besides her.

    Maybe thats why then, if you're putting too much pressure on yourself and thinking about it too much. More than likely you're expecting it to happen now, so thats adding even more pressure.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well... whats a good way not to think about anything?

    and i kinda lied... i sometimes think about if im gonna get an erection or not.. which probley makes everything alot more worse and puts more pressure on me.
    but i dont know how to stop thinking about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    th3on3 wrote:
    well... whats a good way not to think about anything?

    and i kinda lied... i sometimes think about if im gonna get an erection or not.. which probley makes everything alot more worse and puts more pressure on me.
    but i dont know how to stop thinking about it

    What about just having fun with your girlfriend, without thinking that the foreplay is always going to lead to sex. Just enjoy being with her. Maybe concetrate on making it good for her and forget about yourself for a bit?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi th3on3,

    Many men suffer with this problem at some point in their lives, its completely normal. Your not perfect its how you deal with it thats important, i always found with boyfriends in the past that when they make a deal of it and worry about it, it then happened again, so they worried about it more - a vicious circle.
    Try not to worry about it, laugh it off with your girlfriend make a joke or concentrate on something else. Our article on reasons why things go wrong might be helpful to you.
    Hope this helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This happened with an ex of mine. Am glad to read that it *might* not have been me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey.

    thanks alot for the help everyone i would try to do what you people said.

    but if anyone else have any other ideas that can help me out
    please post.


    thank you
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I asked a female friend about this once, and she said she's never had a boyfriend who didn't have this problem at some point.

    Things I would suggest? Just don't do anything that would make it less likely to happen, like masturbating or drinking alcohol. And like remotebleeper said, just have fun with your girlfriend in the meantime without the pressure, and it should happen naturally.

    And you mentioned exercising. What do you mean? Exercising in general should be beneficial. Obviously if you've exercised to the point that you have no energy and you try to do it straight after, then you're gonna have a problem, but just in general, there's no link.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stress, happend to me when I was around 19, was shortly after an stressful event I was probably subconciously worrying about still.

    try not to worry, don't panic, it will fix it self in due course, just make sure your gf knows it's not her, but let her know you need her support :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you guys.

    just another question

    once you guys got over the stress did this fix your problem?

    and how did you guys overcome your stress?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this has happened to me many times since i lost first penetrated at 17.

    if you can wank and climax then you're fine it must be nerves, stress, or medical problems like tight foreskin.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Almost all myb/f's have suffered with this problem but most of it is self-induced by the stress of having to "perform". I just relax my b/f's and gently get them aroused and it no longer is a problem, in fact they then go like a steam hammer, as hard as can be for as long as it takes. Just relax thats the secret. Hope this is useful. "Performance" needs to be eliminated and mutual pleasure substituted.
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