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Hindsight, and absolutely disgusted(suzycreamcheese you mite find this interesting..)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi I have been trying to find posts that I had made when I was younger, and I've found them...I was 16 on the first ones, I am almost 21 now, and if this is how I feel about myself now, I dread to think how I am going to feel in another 5 years time.

http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=35802&page=4&highlight=baby

http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=18427

Both Users '-Di-' and 'Nikki_S' are me. Very embarrassing I have to say, and wasn't I a cocky little maddam, can't say I had that much dignity either, everyone experiments when they are younger in different things, but cannot believe I was so open about it....

Well I had the child I wanted, a year after the 'want a baby' post, believe it or not it was a naive 'incident'. He is almost three and is so well mannered but I must put that down to his part time attendance at day nursery, he surprises me some days he is so clever! I am no longer with his father. I never got the flat I wanted, but I am in a housing association house at the moment(on the same street actually....)which I am very lucky to have but am ashamed to admit, was a benefit of having Tyler. When me and his dad broke up 20 months ago, I went onto benefits and then late last year as my son hit two I decided I should get direction in my life, and I became a part-time care worker to ease myself into work and tyler into day nursery. I came off benefits for around 8 months but had to return back to them as I was not getting enough hours at work, I have just left this job as they completely stopped sending me clients(ETA: this due to me not being a driver and therfore not being able to deal with many clients each day as they live far apart) and so I chose to leave with the intention of being able to put 'immediate start' on any job applications.

I am engaged to my fiance who is in the army, we were due to marry in March 2007, but with 8 months to go we have decided to put it back indefinitely so that we can save, both get cars, clear any debts, have a few holidays, buy new furniture, redecorating etc if we had continued to plan our wedding, I would not be able to afford any more driving tests(75 quid a time - tut i am on my 4th driving test...) which is a big necessity for me and my independance. He is due to leave the army in two years, so in the mean time we are going to enjoy ourselves. He is going to do extra courses at camp and I have just made the Uni application deadline of the 30th June(quite spooky as i wasnt going to apply if i was moving away with him). I want to do a degree in Public Relations, and I have also applied for volunteer work with a cancer charity working in Public Relations. I am looking for a summer job in the meantime but as yet dont want to work full time as I do not feel able to leave my son in day nursery 37 hours of the week(personal decision).

Forgive me for being so self-indulgent, I dont think I am in anyway entitled to posting my autobiography yet:thumb: but I couldnt help but react to my old posts. The past year has been a huge one for me, i feel i have really began to find myself, and I am still in that process. It sounds silly to some people but anyone who has experienced will understand what i mean, it is a slow process but I am slowly accepting myself and figuring out what I want in life and gaining pride. My fiance is currently serving a 6 month tour with the army(almost finished thank god!) and that has certainly helped me figure myself out. I can see these young girls that are pregnant like I was(or you can tell it wont be long before they are pregnant) and I hope they get the same motivation I got, I have no idea where it came from coz to be honest, having a child didnt motivate me as much as you might expect as there is so much suddenly handed to you on a plate.


Oh and I still am not and never was a chav(please believe me I am an indie girl who wears board shorts lol), but hell don't i sound like a Jeremy Kyle reject in my old posts!

So...yeah :chin:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    congratulations on your son, and im glad youve got a nice house now.
    Interesting to read some old posts :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At 16 you think you know everything. Eventually you realise that you don't know everything. In the end you come to understand that you know next to nothing.

    Life's a learning curve, don't be embarassed!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you're very young, your parents know everything. Then you're a teenager, and your parents know nothing, then when you hit your twenties it amazes you how much your parents have learned in the last 10 years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha. I'm glad my old posts are deleted. They would be rather embarassing to read!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    When you're very young, your parents know everything. Then you're a teenager, and your parents know nothing, then when you hit your twenties it amazes you how much your parents have learned in the last 10 years.
    hehe so true!
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    When you're very young, your parents know everything. Then you're a teenager, and your parents know nothing, then when you hit your twenties it amazes you how much your parents have learned in the last 10 years.

    That would make an excellent signature!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For the record I don't remember Nikki S but I remember you as Di and you seemed ok to me tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote:
    That would make an excellent signature!
    *cough*post of the week*couch*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Miffy wrote:
    For the record I don't remember Nikki S but I remember you as Di and you seemed ok to me tbh.
    Same. :yes:
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