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Letter writing ..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just wondering what peoples views are on writing letters to someone i guess to explain your feelings or somewhat. I guess i suck majorly when it comes to face to face meetings and trying to really get everything out. Do you think writing a letter or just basically writing it all down could help? What would you think if you got a letter from someone trying to tell there feelings? Would you be annoyed they didn't do it to there face?

Just interested really :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well..i once got a letter off a girl i once had a bit of a fling with for a few weeks, and i didnt feel the same as her, the letter came across as a bit scary really, she was expressing all these feelings that i couldnt relate to. there were plenty of "i love you's" and "i dont want anybody else" and it just freaked me out a bit because we were never together in the first place.

    so if you do go for a letter make sure it doesnt sound a bit mad. other than that i think letters are a good way to get things out in the open, but dont be surprised if it back fires.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can certainly help you to sort things out in your own head before saying anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess i don't have to actually send it cos i guess i could end up regretting sending the blooming thing. As has been said i guess it could help me to figure things out and maybe make it abit easier if it comes to a face to face thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on the situation and the individuals involved, to be honest. Some people can reel off pages of expressive writing... and dearly love to read the same; others would probably have a heart attack if such a letter plopped through their letterbox (and would never dream of sending such a thing).

    Personally, I'm a major letter writer, both in terms of general communication and also in relationships and friendships. I think it helps you [or at least, me] to express a lot of your intended thoughts without the possibility of them being lost in the mire of conversation where it's so easy to lose track of your thoughts etc. I wouldn't be annoyed if someone sent me a letter telling me their feelings, but I might be a little shocked if it was the first inkling I had of those feelings. On the other hand, within a relationship you obviously need to communicate face to face, but that doesn't mean you can't write your feelings to one another too. Also, as Fiend said, writing it all down in letter format can help you to get a more cohesive grip on your own feelings and what you want to say... even if you don't send it!

    You do have to be careful how much you say and how you say it, though. I don't think I'd write someone a romantically emotional letter outside of a relationship, expressing my feelings or anything like that. Basically because in that conversation you need to be able to judge how what you're saying is being received by them, so you know when to go on and when to stop.

    So yeah, letter writing can be a great, cathartic and expressive way of letting someone know your feelings if you can't do it to their face. There's a lot to be said for it, but obviously it's not ideal in all situations and as with everything it will be better received by some than others. As someone a lot more astute and poetic than I once penned - "you are too young to put all of your hopes in just one envelope" ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm thanks for that Briggi :)

    I dunno really, im at a weird stage at the minute. Really just trying to figure out whats going on in my head but im kinda hoping that what i write down might help to explain to someone why what im feeling is going to affect any sort of a friendship. So i guess as you've said i will have to tred carefully as its outside of a relationship .. i don't intend it to be romantic, im not trying to woo the person. Guess i want to explain my feelings abit better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GoodFella wrote:
    I dunno really, im at a weird stage at the minute. Really just trying to figure out whats going on in my head but im kinda hoping that what i write down might help to explain to someone why what im feeling is going to affect any sort of a friendship. So i guess as you've said i will have to tred carefully as its outside of a relationship .. i don't intend it to be romantic, im not trying to woo the person. Guess i want to explain my feelings abit better.

    I see. Well in that case I don't really see a problem, to be honest. If whatever it is you're feeling has the potential to affect your friendship then you're definitely best off thrashing it out on paper. Getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper is incredibly helpful sometimes. You can write it down as many times as you want, rip it up, start again, say exactly what you want and have it come out as you intend it and then decide that you aren't even going to send it if you want.

    Obviously then when/if it comes to a face to face situation you would have already said everything you need to, and they can come back at you with their response/thoughts/feelings/crazy ranting screams or whatever their reaction is. You can discuss it in the knowledge that it's all already out there and you're on the same page... literally :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll give it a pop later.

    Cheers :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did that once to someone because I had alot to say to him, but couldn't arsed with trying to talk to him; knowing that he'd just ignore it or we'll argue and I wasn't in the mood for an arguement.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think it is always a good idea even if you don't give it to them it will help you express your feelings and make certain issues more clear to you making them easier to express!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Typical can't find a fucking pen anywhere!!
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