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alcoholics..??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
following on from my "is alcohol fattening thread?"...a few replies made me concerned. for years now ive disaproved of my parents drinking but hearing others comment on its excessive nature has made me upset and really worried. basically my parents drink thursday to sunday, putting away a litre of gin, a litre of vodka and a few bottles of wine away between them.

ive been on at the pair of them for years now. their reasoning is that they couldnt afford to drink for years because we had less money coming in. plus me and my little bro were young and needed looking after. now we are 21 and 17 respectively, and they have more cash about themselves.....they just say they are enjoying themselves.

they cant go anywhere, or do anything without drinking....lunch, exercise (as the other thread was about), visiting my gran, shopping, etc. plus they drink in the house thursday to sunday, excessively. til they pass out/fall asleep, to be honest.

but like....they never get hangovers, and always get to their jobs no problem. my dad will get wasted then fall asleep and wake up 5 hours later and go do a 12 hour shift as an engineer in the steelworks. they dont drink early in the day much. the earliest they might star drinking is maybe 3, 4 o'clock on a saturday or sunday.

the drinking doesnt impede their roles as parents at all, they are decent, good people. we have a nice house, and my brother and i are well looked after. but theres still this wee thing in the back of my head...saying ALCOHOLICS. am i being daft? really would appreciate folks views and opinions on this.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like they might be.

    Try talking to the people at Alateen, they're great. Its a support network for children of people that drink too much. Can't think of any of the contact details but if you google it you'll find them, just ring the phone number or email them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ask your parents these questions:

    Have you ever felt you should Cut down on your drinking?
    Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
    Have you ever felt bad or Guilty about your drinking?
    Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover (Eye opener)?

    this is the CAGE questionaire, if 2 or more are answered with a 'yes' this is said to have clinical significance. its used to assess problem drinking and potential alcohol problems.
    to me it sounds like they have a problem but they dont see what they are doing as a problem. drinking that much alcohol that frequently is incredibly bad for their health.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    clara wrote:
    ask your parents these questions:

    Have you ever felt you should Cut down on your drinking?
    Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
    Have you ever felt bad or Guilty about your drinking?
    Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover (Eye opener)?

    this is the CAGE questionaire, if 2 or more are answered with a 'yes' this is said to have clinical significance. its used to assess problem drinking and potential alcohol problems.
    to me it sounds like they have a problem but they dont see what they are doing as a problem. drinking that much alcohol that frequently is incredibly bad for their health.
    Good idea. Another similar system is the AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test) questionnaire.

    Clicky
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just deleted my original reply, because some replies and the poster's acceptance of them, make me feel I wasted my time posting it. Good luck to paperdoll though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    There's nothing wrong with drinking or takiugn drugs unless it seriously affects other areas of your life, such as your ability to work.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    Skive wrote:
    There's nothing wrong with drinking or takiugn drugs unless it seriously affects other areas of your life, such as your ability to work.

    *This* I completely agree with :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kind of misses the point of the thread though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be an alcoholic - alcohol has to rule your life. its not simply 'they drink a bit too much.' unless their use of alcohol is a serious problem, their consumption is dependant, and they use it inappropraitly (e.g. to escape from reality) then no they are not alcoholics. to be perfectly honest, it sounds as though they just enjoy having a drink and are probably in that respect like most other normal parents.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    to be an alcoholic - alcohol has to rule your life. its not simply 'they drink a bit too much.' unless their use of alcohol is a serious problem, their consumption is dependant, and they use it inappropraitly (e.g. to escape from reality) then no they are not alcoholics. to be perfectly honest, it sounds as though they just enjoy having a drink and are probably in that respect like most other normal parents.

    aye i guess this sounds about right. they drink far too much, but as you say, it doesnt rule their lives, or impede them from working or caring for me and my brother.

    cheers for the replies dudes! just wanted some perspective on things. i might ask my mum to do that quiz Kentish posed, she'd be open to it i think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    paperdoll wrote:
    aye i guess this sounds about right. they drink far too much, but as you say, it doesnt rule their lives, or impede them from working or caring for me and my brother.

    cheers for the replies dudes! just wanted some perspective on things. i might ask my mum to do that quiz Kentish posed, she'd be open to it i think.
    i know guys who have drunk lots all their lives ...i'm takking over thirty years of drinking.
    it has never afected the way they look after their families paid the bills etc.
    if they go through financialy difficult times the first thing to go is the drinking.
    drink can be enjoyed by the vast majority of people without taking any notice whatsoever of those silly government safe units bollox.
    your parents sound like good people who enjoy detting sloshed but put reality first.
    i reckon the odds are is they are and will be ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it may not affect their ability to run their lives by looking after their children and doing their jobs, but it will be affecting their lives when theyre dying of liver disease or pancreatic disease. drinking this DOES cause damage to your internal organs. sorry to be harsh, but it's true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    There's nothing wrong with drinking or takiugn drugs unless it seriously affects other areas of your life, such as your ability to work.

    Apart from that it's damaging to your health.
    clara wrote:
    it may not affect their ability to run their lives by looking after their children and doing their jobs, but it will be affecting their lives when theyre dying of liver disease or pancreatic disease. drinking this DOES cause damage to your internal organs. sorry to be harsh, but it's true.

    Exactly. My dad used to drink like your parents, he worked in a golf club/bar and would drink most nights and get drunk. All of his family were well looked after, and we had no worries. It DID affect his health though. He's irreparably damaged his liver, and has cirrhosis, which nearly killed him twice.

    He's been dry the last 15 years because of it, the doctors told him if he goes back to drinking he'll be dead. He's on medication for the rest of his life now, and he can't ever drink again. All because he liked to drink.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    Silviena wrote:
    Apart from that it's damaging to your health.

    Life woudl be so boring if we avoided everything that was bad for your health.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Life woudl be so boring if we avoided everything that was bad for your health.

    Yes, but there is a line between that and doing something every day which you know will put you in an early grave.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    bongbudda wrote:
    Yes, but there is a line between that and doing something every day which you know will put you in an early grave.

    If it's not affecting the way you lead your life I don't see it as any worse than smoking or eating crappy foods.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    those who end up damaged are usualy the ones who also neglected their diet s their exercise etc.
    those who work hard and play hard ...can actualy live to a ripe old age with reasonable health.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's not even that it puts you in an early grave, more like it gives you years of painful bad health.

    and that's a load of bollocks that the ones that are damaged are the ones that neglected their diet and exercise: drinking that heavily will destroy your insides no matter what.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    If it's not affecting the way you lead your life I don't see it as any worse than smoking or eating crappy foods.

    But it is affecting their life, "they cant do anything without drinking" - surely thats the sign of dependance. Unless of course you're going to say that being an alcoholic is fine as long as you can support yourself?
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    bongbudda wrote:
    But it is affecting their life, "they cant do anything without drinking" - surely thats the sign of dependance.

    Can't do or just doesn't do?

    99% of the time when I go clubbing I take pills, I have a couple of beers everynight myself. Many people on this board smoke pot everyday?
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Can't do or just doesn't do?

    99% of the time when I go clubbing I take pills, I have a couple of beers everynight myself. Many people on this board smoke pot everyday?

    Is there nothing in the description you find even vaguely concerning, that they drink till they pass out for example.

    If they are getting totally wasted three days solid then its not going to do their body any good. And yes we can of course all live like nuns but thats not the point, if you pushed your point to the extreme then shooting dirty junk every hour is OK because anything else would just be boring.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    bongbudda wrote:
    Is there nothing in the description you find even vaguely concerning, that they drink till they pass out for example.

    I don't see their behaviour as any different to a great many people I know, including myself.

    During the week if I have lunch out, I'll probably have a bottle of beer ro maybe a pint. After work I'll have a couple of ciders, or a couple of beers at home, from Thursday to Sunday I drink considerably more. Sometimes I'll be driving however I can go out and stay on the softs all night without any problem.

    My point is that people sometimes drink a lot because simply because they want to, not through any need.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    My point is that people sometimes drink a lot because simply because they want to, not through any need.

    And I'm not saying that she should panic or that they should be forced into de-tox, but I think she is right to raise concerns about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    clara wrote:
    and that's a load of bollocks that the ones that are damaged are the ones that neglected their diet and exercise: drinking that heavily will destroy your insides no matter what.
    in the fifties and sixties people who worked physicaly hard ...like digging holes in roads ...constuction workers etc ...for the most part were the big boozers in life.
    i'm talking beer here not spirits ...they worked hard ...ate well and died quite normaly ...not ill or in pain ...in their seventies ...i know cos a huge anmmount of my relatives did just that.
    they didn't have all this modern protiens and fibre and calories information shoved in their faces ...they wouldn't have dreamed of going to a gym ...they worked hard played hard and died for the most part with dignity.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    in the fifties and sixties people who worked physicaly hard ...like digging holes in roads ...constuction workers etc ...for the most part were the big boozers in life.
    i'm talking beer here not spirits ...they worked hard ...ate well and died quite normaly ...not ill or in pain ...in their seventies ...i know cos a huge anmmount of my relatives did just that.
    they didn't have all this modern protiens and fibre and calories information shoved in their faces ...they wouldn't have dreamed of going to a gym ...they worked hard played hard and died for the most part with dignity.

    Exactly.

    And you right there's a big difference in drinking wine-beer-cider and the drinks you find on the top shelf.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Exactly.

    And you right there's a big difference in drinking wine-beer-cider and the drinks you find on the top shelf.

    Which is exactly what this girls parents are drinking, a litre each of gin and vodka, plus wine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    Good idea. Another similar system is the AUDIT (Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test) questionnaire.

    Clicky

    According to that I have a drinking problem! :chin:
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,228 Skive's The Limit
    JamesZero wrote:
    According to that I have a drinking problem! :chin:

    I scored 14. pfft.

    I wouldn't pay that much attention to it.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I scored 14. pfft.

    I wouldn't pay that much attention to it.

    I got 13...

    and I agree... I dont think that test is realistic... especially for people of our age.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you read it then it doesn't say your an alcoholic if you score highly, simply that your at risk of harming yourself (or your poor liver) as a result of your alcohol consumption.

    How many nights do you wake up with bruises?
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