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Stupid but need to get it out!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
I am going to ask a question and I will probably regret it and get slagged totally for it but nevermind.
Does anyone else wonder why they are single? like all the time or is it just me? I mean I see other people who I think I'm nicer than but I obviously am not cos they aren't single like me.
I feel like I've never had a proper relationship yeh was with someone for a long time but looking back it was nothing, no action nothing. The other guys I've been with have been more a casual thing.
I'm just fed up I mean when my Mum and all my colleagues at work were my age they were either getting married or were married!
I'm worried I'll end up this old woman with noone only cats!!
Sorry!

Comments

  • JsTJsT TheSite Graduate Posts: 18,265 I am one with The Mix
    Not unusual at all. Don't worry bout it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not to worry, out of my group of friends say the closest 15 or so, aged between 20 and 24 only 2 are in relationships. Maybe worry about it when you get to 60 and your best friend is a cat, but i wouldnt worry yet, i certainly dont. there are plenty of great women out there, but im still single, my relationships have just never worked out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry about it, your not the only one, i think about that most days. Soon your find someone.

    Be happy :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being single is fantastic mate, enjoy it.

    Last two weekends have been proper great, and I wouldn't have got away with any of it if I was still in a relationship.

    Enjoy yourself, it'll happen when it's ready to happen :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    Being single is fantastic mate, enjoy it.

    Last two weekends have been proper great, and I wouldn't have got away with any of it if I was still in a relationship.

    Enjoy yourself, it'll happen when it's ready to happen :thumb:

    has it good points I know, but in the last 12 months, I've lost so many friends from no fault of my own and I guess I'm just fed up and wish I coudl pull now and again!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wisecrack wrote:
    has it good points I know, but in the last 12 months, I've lost so many friends from no fault of my own and I guess I'm just fed up and wish I coudl pull now and again!

    I know what you mean. I'm not unhappy about being single, but I often wonder why I can't pull. I mean, I do know that I am bad socially, but I don't know where exactly I'm going wrong or how to amend it.
    Saying it's normal to be single doesn't really help either. I don't need a boyfriend, but it'd be nice to have some action! And while I don't even get that, I do start thinking about the old woman+cats thing. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes.

    What really annoys me though is that complete wankers always seem to get the nice girls and decent people get left out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, i wonder about it a lot. I make a great boyfriend, yet I get zero female interest.

    *shrugs*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm so glad its not just me that thinks these things!
    Just really really fed up with life the now!
    Wish it'd change for the better for a change!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, I know exactly why I'm single. Because not enough girls find me attractive enough to want to get to know me. So I don't have enough opportunities to actually find one I really like. I just work on making myself more attractive, which is actually a lot easier than it sounds for a guy. Well it's actually just a case of making myself more successful, which benefits me, and has the excellent side-effect of making me more attractive to the opposite sex. Well, easy on paper anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    What really annoys me though is that complete wankers always seem to get the nice girls and decent people get left out.
    That's because until you reach your mid 20's, attractiveness, power and social status (at least where I come from) boil down to how many people you can beat up on a saturday night, how good you are at football, or how good looking you are. These (along with people born rich) are the type of guys that have confidence, which means that these are the type of guys that get girls. Can't wait to come back with the confidence that comes from actually being successful, which I reckon will be far more attractive, at least to nice girls anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wisecrack wrote:
    Does anyone else wonder why they are single? like all the time or is it just me? I mean I see other people who I think I'm nicer than but I obviously am not cos they aren't single like me.

    Ooh, I have a great theory on this. That 99% of people capable of being in relationships are already in relationships. And that most single people are single for a reason. I.e. they're emotionally unstable, are miserable sods, whatever. So although I'm in the 1% of people perfectly capable of being in a relationship but just happen to be single, most of the single girls I meet are not. Hence my continued, yet entirely undeserved, singleness. :D

    (If that makes any sense? :confused: )
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wisecrack wrote:
    Hi
    I am going to ask a question and I will probably regret it and get slagged totally for it but nevermind.
    Does anyone else wonder why they are single? like all the time or is it just me? I mean I see other people who I think I'm nicer than but I obviously am not cos they aren't single like me.
    I feel like I've never had a proper relationship yeh was with someone for a long time but looking back it was nothing, no action nothing. The other guys I've been with have been more a casual thing.
    I'm just fed up I mean when my Mum and all my colleagues at work were my age they were either getting married or were married!
    I'm worried I'll end up this old woman with noone only cats!!
    Sorry!

    I feel you man.

    I always explain it like this to me: They have been on the right spot in the right time.

    I got female friends (90% of them) telling me I look good, and should finally get one... sheesh, like this is so easy for me. The fact that all are in a happy relationship and tell me I look fit does not help at all!

    It's the typical, "I won't date you, but if you stay the way you are you will make a girl someday really really happy."

    my sister who's 2 years older than me has a partner, and my sister who's 7(!) years younger than me has a b/f as well.
    Feels like the whole world is dating except me.

    [/emo]
    argh. way to ruin a day :p i am about to leave for uni.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I so know what you mean.

    I used to feel exactly the same.

    "If I was thinner, I'd get someone, cause I'm an awesome chick, just too fat"

    And every bitch around me was getting people and it was sad.

    But I found someone who loves my curves and its great :)

    Hehe, the funny thing is, is that he's a real thin boy, so we look a little weird hehe
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooh, I have a great theory on this. That 99% of people capable of being in relationships are already in relationships. And that most single people are single for a reason. I.e. they're emotionally unstable, are miserable sods, whatever. So although I'm in the 1% of people perfectly capable of being in a relationship but just happen to be single, most of the single girls I meet are not. Hence my continued, yet entirely undeserved, singleness. :D


    Naw dude, just naw.

    Being emotionally unstable or miserable doesn't make you uncapable of having a relationship. Are you honestly saying that everyone in a relationship is balanced and happy? Have you read these forums?

    Naw!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Violette wrote:
    and like, to be fair, i'd be quite ace. haha. i think i would be a quite nice girlfriend.

    You would :flirt:

    When I'm single my thoughts tend to focus not on why I'm such a dateless pariah, but why everyone else isn't interesting enough for me to want to pursue them. I like to put a positive spin on things, haha.

    I'm With Stupid has a point about a lot of women's attitudes to dating in younger years (as much as I hate to admit it...) and from older male friends of mine I know that the whole thing often turns on its head when they get a little older and (hopefully) more mature. It's definitely hard not to resent people in relationships, especially when they're an personality-free-zone and ugly to boot. But be happy for ugly, boring people who find love... :p

    The old chestnut about things happening when you're not actively seeking them is absolutely true, as much as we all hate to admit it. I've had phases when I was younger when I thought I need a boyfriend and nothing happened, only for them all to crawl out of the woodwork as soon as I decided I'd had enough.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite wrote:
    Naw son, just naw.

    Being emotionally unstable or miserable doesn't make you uncapable of having a relationship. Are you honestly saying that everyone in a relationship is balanced and happy? Have you read these forums?

    Naw!

    Okay, so I didn't mean everyone who's emotionally unstable or miserable doesn't deserve or isn't capable of being in a relationship. But personally I'd rather be with someone who's a little happier and more stable. Getting dumped every 2 weeks only to get back together again 3 days later. Constantly worrying I'm not giving her everything she needs, or that I've upset her without realising. I can do without all that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Violette wrote:
    when my boy friends with girlfriends moan on about the shit what their girlfriends do..and im always thinking.. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!! and like, to be fair, i'd be quite ace. haha. i think i would be a quite nice girlfriend.


    haha same here!

    i always think 'why are they putting up with that?!', but hey each to their own. :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think being in a relationship is anything to do with your score on the scales of beauty intelligence or wit. its all about compatibility.

    i spent a lot of time angsting over how i was with this guy when he could do so much better, then i realised that he didnt think there was anyone better and that in his eyes i was at the top of all the scales.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite wrote:
    Naw dude, just naw.

    Being emotionally unstable or miserable doesn't make you uncapable of having a relationship. Are you honestly saying that everyone in a relationship is balanced and happy? Have you read these forums?

    Naw!

    I have to back Infinite up on this one, both my and my bofriend
    *sidetracks* (Urgh I cant call him that hes in his thirties!) are both slightly emotionally and mentally unstable due to one reason or another, but we get on really really well with each other. Its all due to compatability, I always waited for someone that I could get along with before I could be bothered to have relationships. Being in a relationship is not someones defining characteristic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its all really a right place at the right time scenario, essentially everyone can find a partner however 99% of us wouldnt just go for a random person.

    I know that when i was single i was unhappy and looking for someone, all the girls i met were just a bit weird to be honest. It was only when i stopped bothering about it that i met my girl friend. Even when we started seeing each other i didnt make a massive deal out of it and just got to know her.

    So my theory is that if you stop looking for love you have a better chance of finding it. Just try and get to know people before going in for the whole relationship thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't buy this "it's the right place at the right time" thing. It doesn't explain why some have had million billion bf/gfs while others have none.
    I personally don't really want a bf that much, but I wouldn't mind some flirting, etc. It's not because I'm an ugly mug that it's not happening, it's because I don't have the social ability to make it happen. Maybe I've missed a hundred "right place at the right time" moments in my life, who knows.

    If I stopped looking around, I'd end up right where I have been. So I'm on the prowl now. Not looking for anyone to end up with, but just meeting strangers and practicing my social skills. Making the right place at the right time happen before I hit 30.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    both my and my bofriend
    are both slightly emotionally and mentally unstable due to one reason or another, but we get on really really well with each other. Its all due to compatability.

    To be honest I'd describe myself as slightly emotionally and mentally unstable, too. I really meant the other person being so emotionally and mentally unstable that the relationship just won't work, no matter how hard you try. But I could've included other factors, too. E.g. people who don't really want a relationship, people who are too self obsessed etc.
    Being in a relationship is not someones defining characteristic.

    Not being in a relationship doesn't really bother me. It's the entire lack of prospects. I think as long as you're going on first dates now and then you feel like you're doing okay, even if none of them work out. It's when you go months without finding anyone to even ask out that being single starts to suck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad I posted this I didn't think I would be but I actually am, I'm glad its not only me that thinks this stuff!
    I'm just fed up, why oh why do you always want things when you cant/dont have them (e.g. sex in my case!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But yeah, I definitely feel the same way. I'm sure like 90 odd percent of people are always in relationships, and when they split up they just breeze into another one. Whereas I seem to spend the vast majority of my time being single. Despite having gotten over my fears of asking girls out and being generally ace. :D

    And yes, as soon as you can't have sex anymore your body suddenly decides it's the only thing in life that matters at all and it's all you can think about. Grr. Stupid body.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And yes, as soon as you can't have sex anymore your body suddenly decides it's the only thing in life that matters at all and it's all you can think about. Grr. Stupid body.

    Tell me about it!
    I may aswell turn into a Nun!

    If I do ever get the chance again I might have forgotten what to do!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But yeah, I definitely feel the same way. I'm sure like 90 odd percent of people are always in relationships, and when they split up they just breeze into another one.
    It seems to me that any girl that is both nice, and half-decent looking will have a boyfriend. And when they split up with him, you have a maximum of about a month to get in there before she goes out with someone else. All of my nice female friends seem to have had a string of boyfriends (not in a slutty way or anything) since they've been about 16.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Huh, I know someone who is like that, but her niceness is a facade. And so dumping happens. She gets them beaten up. She's pissed he cheated on her. She cheated on him!! She gets angry and jealous that I can hold down my relationship. She's a dick to my bf. Ah I hate it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that any girl that is both nice, and half-decent looking will have a boyfriend. And when they split up with him, you have a maximum of about a month to get in there before she goes out with someone else. All of my nice female friends seem to have had a string of boyfriends (not in a slutty way or anything) since they've been about 16.

    I would say that's true to an extent.

    Though I have gorgeous friends with [really] great personalities who have had maybe one short-term relationship (if that) at this point, and we're all coming up for 21/22. With this, we're getting back onto the whiny "attractive people never get approached" etc schtick, though I do think there's some truth in that. It's also partly that they're incredibly picky and probably fairly aloof, I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that any girl that is both nice, and half-decent looking will have a boyfriend. And when they split up with him, you have a maximum of about a month to get in there before she goes out with someone else.

    But even the month's an illusion. For the first like 26 days they won't be ready for another relationship. So there's a window of about 2 days. And my timing's nowhere near that good. Lol.
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