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Cohabitee rights

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Relgion has nothing to do with a legal state of affairs. Don't be foolish.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    Just like with every other law and legislation in existence, ignorance is no defence. If the proposed two-year theresold is accepted, then it would be up to the couples to sign an opt-out clause document before the two years come up. It's not as if many people would be unaware of the options if this becomes law anyway.
    If ignorance is no excuse for not opting out, how is it an excuse for not opting in (marrying)? One reason behind the legislation is the false belief in 'common law' marriage. It doesn't take a great legal brain to work out that if this legislation was brought in, the converse would occur.

    ps One doesn't have to be religious to be pro marriage. More marriages are taking place in registry offices than ever before - and as you know, no mention of religion or God is allowed at such marriages. I also don't see cost as a reason not to get married if your argument is based on the view of not seeing the point in marriage at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    If ignorance is no excuse for not opting out, how is it an excuse for not opting in (marrying)?
    Because the fact remains that in present day Britain millions of people do not get married, and it is completely wrong to blackmailing into getting married or refuse them the most basic of rights and responsibilities if they don't oblige.
    ps One doesn't have to be religious to be pro marriage. More marriages are taking place in registry offices than ever before - and as you know, no mention of religion or God is allowed at such marriages. I also don't see cost as a reason not to get married if your argument is based on the view of not seeing the point in marriage at all.
    So does this all boil down to 'my side' is better than yours?

    Perhaps we should start campaigning for the abolition of marriage... seeing as the 'live and let live' philosophy doesn't clearly work around here...

    If some people want to make us comply with their beliefs and view of 'how things should be' or screw us other, what's the point of being nice?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    Because the fact remains that in present day Britain millions of people do not get married, and it is completely wrong to blackmailing into getting married or refuse them the most basic of rights and responsibilities if they don't oblige.
    You fail to see the point. How would the basic rights of those wishing to opt out be best served if ignorance is no excuse?
    So does this all boil down to 'my side' is better than yours?
    Doesn't every argument?
    Perhaps we should start campaigning for the abolition of marriage... seeing as the 'live and let live' philosophy doesn't clearly work around here...

    If some people want to make us comply with their beliefs and view of 'how things should be' or screw us other, what's the point of being nice?
    If only I could actually made head nor tail of your argument, perhaps it would stand a better chance of being taken seriously.

    Anyway, let's forget about this and let the wonderful world of football unite us. :D Deutschland uber alles!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    You fail to see the point. How would the basic rights of those wishing to opt out be best served if ignorance is no excuse?
    It's not a question of whether they are aware of the situation as to providing for people.

    The same could be said of civil partnerships, or even to the legality of homosexuality could it not? Gays were aware they had no rights as partners, so they should have simply lived with that instead of lobbying for a change.
    Doesn't every argument?
    No. Or at least it shouldn't. I've never been one to subscribe to that mantra. I'd rather have what's fairest.
    If only I could actually made head nor tail of your argument, perhaps it would stand a better chance of being taken seriously.

    Anyway, let's forget about this and let the wonderful world of football unite us. :D Deutschland uber alles!

    It's only so much I can do. Seeing as there are millions of others like me and seeing as the government is looking to change the law, perhaps they can explain it better.

    P.S. What are you doing posting while the football is on anyway? :p

    I'll be out of the office in a minute and don't you expect me to post while a game is on (unless I'm in the office).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    My rights wouldn't come before anyone elses, contrary to Kermit kindly but cluelessly suggests. It would come to each couple to decide how their assets would be divided in case of death/separation. Therefore it would be our rights that come before those of our parents and our parents-in-law, not "my" rights.

    And how do you make a legal declaration of this?

    I have no problem with people making a legal declaration to say that they want A to happen instead of B, that is a decision for them to make. I don't even care if you call this declaration marriage or not.

    What I do care about is the state changing the legal status of people without explicit consent. You have yet to explain how and why it is right for the state to change the legal status of someone without them agreeing to us explicitly.

    You have also yet to explain why, whilst you yourself are unwilling to sign a bit of paper to make your legal intentions clear, you are willing to force people to sign legal documents in order to preserve their legal status.

    You have yet to illustrate how you can document your intentions without documenting them. Assumptions do not work. It is not for the state to assume that I want my girlfriend to have half of my house should we split up.

    Assumptions do not work because they cannot protect people properly. Either they are drawn narrowly but explicitly, protecting the law but not people, or they are drawn widely and vaguely but do not protect people because the rules are too fuzzy to document properly. Assumptions do not replace specific instructions, and they can never do so, because they can never be tailored to each person.

    You have also yet to explain whether any assumptions should override documents of intent, such as wills.

    I am not against people having rights. I am against the state assuming that people want these rights, and I am against the state interfering in the way people conduct their personal business. If people want their legal status to change, they need to explicitly say so. If they want their girlfriend to own half the house, they need to put her on the deeds. If they want her to get it all upon death they need to draw up a will. I don't see the issue with that.

    I now want you to explain why you do not feel people should have to explicitly document their wishes in order to ensure they happen as they wish. I also now want you to explain why people should have to go to the trouble of explicitly stating that they don't want their partner to get their house simply so that you don't have to go to the trouble yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought I had, repeteadly, over the last 200 posts. I also thought the thread had been allowed to die a dignified death now that we all had come to agree to disagree.

    Silly me.

    I really believe I have answered, at lenght and on several occasions, every last point you have raised.

    But never mind, I shall, just for the last time I hope, address some of them again:
    What I do care about is the state changing the legal status of people without explicit consent. You have yet to explain how and why it is right for the state to change the legal status of someone without them agreeing to us explicitly.
    It's not changing their legal status at all, is it? It is to do (amongst other things) with providing maintenance and support for someone if you die or leave them.
    You have yet to illustrate how you can document your intentions without documenting them. Assumptions do not work. It is not for the state to assume that I want my girlfriend to have half of my house should we split up.
    If you don't, sign an opt out clause. Couldn't be simpler.
    You have also yet to explain why, whilst you yourself are unwilling to sign a bit of paper to make your legal intentions clear, you are willing to force people to sign legal documents in order to preserve their legal status.
    What "piece of paper" would that be? I hope we're not trying to pass off married as that yet again...
    Assumptions do not work because they cannot protect people properly. Either they are drawn narrowly but explicitly, protecting the law but not people, or they are drawn widely and vaguely but do not protect people because the rules are too fuzzy to document properly. Assumptions do not replace specific instructions, and they can never do so, because they can never be tailored to each person.
    What assumptions anyway? Do you really believe that anyone, anywhere, could possibly argue they were not part of a long term loving relationship as cohabitees?

    Good luck to them.


    You have also yet to explain whether any assumptions should override documents of intent, such as wills.
    In the same way marriages might overrride wills. If someone doesn't want their partner to get their property, they should do an opt out clause. Just like some married couples manage do very well.

    I am not against people having rights. I am against the state assuming that people want these rights, and I am against the state interfering in the way people conduct their personal business. If people want their legal status to change, they need to explicitly say so. If they want their girlfriend to own half the house, they need to put her on the deeds. If they want her to get it all upon death they need to draw up a will. I don't see the issue with that.
    I wouldn't either. Only of course, that's only part of the story. Wills do not cover certain things, such as support and maintenance if one partner leaves the other.

    I now want you to explain why you do not feel people should have to explicitly document their wishes in order to ensure they happen as they wish. I also now want you to explain why people should have to go to the trouble of explicitly stating that they don't want their partner to get their house simply so that you don't have to go to the trouble yourself.
    Er... how much do you want to bet that the immense majority of cohabitating couples agree with "me" and the new legislation?

    It has nothing to do with you as a married person, at any rate. You should let cohabitating couples decide what's best for them, seeing as it's only us this legislation would affect.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:

    If you don't, sign an opt out clause. Couldn't be simpler.

    I've live with two guys for 9 months, am I going out with either of them?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You tell me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you know?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do I care?

    Look, it couldn't be simpler: if you are in a relationship with one of them, then the new legislation would ensure you would be covered if your long-term partner dies or leaves you.

    What's so damn difficult to understand about that?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Except that's exactly the point with you're cunning opt out plan. It doesn't work, I live with two guys, you don't know if I'm with either of them, how would anyone else? So the system would have to be opt in, in which case, how is it any different from getting married?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And obviously gay people would have to have the same rights, adding to the court list.

    Should be interesting when one person says they're an item and one denies it to stop his bitch of an ex getting half his house.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Except that's exactly the point with you're cunning opt out plan. It doesn't work, I live with two guys, you don't know if I'm with either of them, how would anyone else? So the system would have to be opt in, in which case, how is it any different from getting married?
    Wouldn't you or your partner have a single friend, relative, neighbour or work colleague who could come forward as witnesses if the need arose?

    How likely is that?

    And even if the system was opt-in, for the four hundreth million time, signing a document is not the same as getting married.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How many witnesses would have to speak for me, and how many for him before we're officially an item, or not, extra work for the courts, sounds like opt-out is a load of crap tbh.

    For marriage, it doesn't have to be any more or less than signing a document if you don't want it to be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    How many witnesses would have to speak for me, and how many for him before we're officially an item, or not, extra work for the courts, sounds like opt-out is a load of crap tbh.
    No. It sounds like you're trying really hard to think if improbable scenarios in order to make the new legislation unworthy.

    Funny thing is, anyone could use such tactics to discredit just about any law in existance, from those concerning homosexuality to those ruling thieving, attacking or killing others is wrong.
    For marriage, it doesn't have to be any more or less than signing a document if you don't want it to be.
    That is obviously not the case for millions. And yet, you would rather the law didn't get passed and those milllions of people were left in a vulnerable position or be forced to marry, simply because that's what you think people should do.

    Nice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm really not trying tbh. Why don't you try and answer rather than to say it's random and obscure.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Answer what? Are you seriously suggesting I have left anything unanswered?

    I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear. But answered I have. Repeteadly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, if I live with someone, how does anyone know we're a couple? You've answered that, you don't, and neither does the government. So Opt-out doesn't work, the end.

    So you would have to sign a legal contract to say that you're a couple, ie get married.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Ok, if I live with someone, how does anyone know we're a couple? You've answered that, you don't, and neither does the government. So Opt-out doesn't work, the end.
    Your family would know. Your friends you know. Your work colleagues would know. Your bank manager would know. Your neighbours might even know.

    His family would know. His friends would know. His work colleagues would know. His bank manager would know.

    Please...
    So you would have to sign a legal contract to say that you're a couple, ie get married.
    As pointed out ad infinitum already, even if an opt in system was adopted instead signing a simple declaration is still infinitely different to getting married. So, no, people should not have to get married.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    Your family would know. Your friends you know. Your work colleagues would know. Your bank manager would know. Your neighbours might even know.

    His family would know. His friends would know. His work colleagues would know. His bank manager would know.

    Please...

    Would know what? Seriously, look at the situation it's just a mess. You seriously want your assets divided based on an assumption?

    One of the utility bills is joint, the gas bill is addressed to myself and John, John pays the electric and I pay the NTL. Are we together? It's a crap way to go about things. Opt-out makes no sense.

    Legally, what you're asking for and what we've got are no different. If you can't be arsed to get married, that's your problem. Because I can't see why we need another level of legal crap when it's all already dealt with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Would know what? Seriously, look at the situation it's just a mess. You seriously want your assets divided based on an assumption?
    If I didn't, then I would take steps to prevent it (i.e. opt out clause).
    One of the utility bills is joint, the gas bill is addressed to myself and John, John pays the electric and I pay the NTL. Are we together? It's a crap way to go about things. Opt-out makes no sense.
    No. You try to make it sound as if it doesn't, because you profoundly disagree with the idea of cohabitees being given similar rights and responsibilities as married couples.

    I've noticed how you have been ignoring my remarks about family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Practically all individuals who were part of a cohabitating couple in a long term relationship would be able to prove so very easily, by the means of witness accounts if nothing else.
    Legally, what you're asking for and what we've got are no different. If you can't be arsed to get married, that's your problem. Because I can't see why we need another level of legal crap when it's all already dealt with.
    BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "NOT BEING ARSED TO GET MARRIED".

    Forgive me for shouting. But seeing as (incredibly) the message hasn't got through yet, perhaps shouting will do the trick... :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why should the majority of the country sign an opt out clause because you're lazy, because right now that's what it sounds like?

    And what's the difference between legally signing that you want your assets to go to your partner and have the benefits etc of that, and, well, legally signing that you want your assets to go to your partner and have the benefits etc...? Except one of them is called getting married and the other doesn't exist yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "NOT BEING ARSED TO GET MARRIED".
    I can understand your frustration Al, but until you are prepared to explain what getting married is to you, it doesn't matter what it isn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Why should the majority of the country sign an opt out clause because you're lazy, because right now that's what it sounds like?
    What majority of the country? :confused: We're talking one in six couples.

    And in any case, what makes you think they don't want an opt out clause?
    nd what's the difference between legally signing that you want your assets to go to your partner and have the benefits etc of that, and, well, legally signing that you want your assets to go to your partner and have the benefits etc...? Except one of them is called getting married
    Bingo.

    A great many people, for a number of reasons, do not want to get married. Which is something infinitely more complex and significant than just signing a simple declaration, regardless of what you and others might pretend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    I can understand your frustration Al, but until you are prepared to explain what getting married is to you, it doesn't matter what it isn't.
    I have explained as much as you or anyone else needs to know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    What majority of the country? :confused: We're talking one in six couples.

    And in any case, what makes you think they don't want an opt out clause?
    I don't want to have to sign an opt-out clause to clear up any possible confusion because I live with a boy.


    And you really haven't been over it enough, because you as far as I can tell are doing nothing but bleeting because you've got issues.

    ETA: As far as I'm concerned marriage is nothing more or less than you make it out to be. That's entirely your problem and if you're too [/insert adverb here] to go through with it, I don't see why any other legal document would make an difference.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aladdin wrote:
    I have explained as much as you or anyone else needs to know.
    Not if you want me to support the legislation you haven't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I don't want to have to sign an opt-out clause to clear up any possible confusion because I live with a boy.
    If you are not in a relationship with him, you wouldn't have to. At all.

    And you really haven't been over it enough, because you as far as I can tell are doing nothing but bleeting because you've got issues.
    What issues would those be?
    ETA: As far as I'm concerned marriage is nothing more or less than you make it out to be.
    Clearly millions of people disagree with you there.
    That's entirely your problem and if you're too [/insert adverb here] to go through with it, I don't see why any other legal document would make an difference.
    No, I guess you wouldn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    Not if you want me to support the legislation you haven't.
    Oh look the afternoon shift has arrived ;)

    Why such intolerance? Millions of people do not understand religious beliefs at all and why people would have such beliefs, yet they don't go around demanding that such beliefs be banned.

    I was going to ask you what is it to you but you have already indicated you might be 'pro-marriage'.

    If only others were so forthcoming...
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