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How to meet men/women.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am not really looking for advice here, but of course it's never a bad thing to get insights from the opposite sex. Basically, this is a Ask and Tell thread about how men and women are meeting up.
I - speaking for myself of course - put following points in line.
It's true that many men are oblivious and hardly realize when you are 'hitting on them'. If you are waiting around like a injured gazelle on a bar and waiting for a man to pounce you probably won't like the result. I absolutely dig chicks who approach me and start conversation. Don't be afraid, you arent't 'slutty' if you make a compliment that you like the way I dress, or they way I entertain my peers. Some men - guess me too, even I call myself observative - need the facts on a imaginary sheet of paper stapled to our forehead. Subtle hints probably won't work. It's not like we don't notice them at all, but we tend to neglect them, because we aren't sure what exactly you want from us. Just casual talk? a compliment because I beat this other guy in table soccer over there? do you think I am a nice guy and you need a friend? do you want to date me?
just a few more.
1) girls, if you are around with a male friend we will think you two belong together. A few boys might try carefully, respectful ones won't.
2) If you notice a boy you like, and you might have his attetion as well, move away from your peers. Going to a group of 5 girls unknown to us and making conversation with one is a very hard thing to do.
3) I add this point, because it happened to me: If we are waiting for your cab, and want a hug, it's ok to hug me. If you tell me you are cold, I will offer you my jacket. Even if you say, "nah, it's ok.", I probably won't come to the idea to offer you a hug (i hadn't).
4) in addition to point 3: Just tell us what you want.
5) Just as food for thought: A girl that impressed me mightily (it did not work out, but it's a whole different story), approached me on the bar and bought me a drink. That's right, she was breaking the ice, totally had my attention, and I knew she was interested. I was absolutely stunned.
I for myself pretty much gave up the cold approach up, because I won't bother anymore, it -never- worked for me, so excuse me if I don't approach you if you haven't even build up eye contact and gave me a big smile.
you don't need a ton of makeup or super fancy clothing. Everything that fits your person look good on you. a ragged jeans and a common tank top is often more than enough to impress, (me at least
)
well, it's just a few things I wanted to share to give a few girls here insights.
How about you girls add something about us blokes, what you want us to do and what we mustn't do?
hope this sticks around.
I - speaking for myself of course - put following points in line.
It's true that many men are oblivious and hardly realize when you are 'hitting on them'. If you are waiting around like a injured gazelle on a bar and waiting for a man to pounce you probably won't like the result. I absolutely dig chicks who approach me and start conversation. Don't be afraid, you arent't 'slutty' if you make a compliment that you like the way I dress, or they way I entertain my peers. Some men - guess me too, even I call myself observative - need the facts on a imaginary sheet of paper stapled to our forehead. Subtle hints probably won't work. It's not like we don't notice them at all, but we tend to neglect them, because we aren't sure what exactly you want from us. Just casual talk? a compliment because I beat this other guy in table soccer over there? do you think I am a nice guy and you need a friend? do you want to date me?
just a few more.
1) girls, if you are around with a male friend we will think you two belong together. A few boys might try carefully, respectful ones won't.
2) If you notice a boy you like, and you might have his attetion as well, move away from your peers. Going to a group of 5 girls unknown to us and making conversation with one is a very hard thing to do.
3) I add this point, because it happened to me: If we are waiting for your cab, and want a hug, it's ok to hug me. If you tell me you are cold, I will offer you my jacket. Even if you say, "nah, it's ok.", I probably won't come to the idea to offer you a hug (i hadn't).
4) in addition to point 3: Just tell us what you want.
5) Just as food for thought: A girl that impressed me mightily (it did not work out, but it's a whole different story), approached me on the bar and bought me a drink. That's right, she was breaking the ice, totally had my attention, and I knew she was interested. I was absolutely stunned.
I for myself pretty much gave up the cold approach up, because I won't bother anymore, it -never- worked for me, so excuse me if I don't approach you if you haven't even build up eye contact and gave me a big smile.
you don't need a ton of makeup or super fancy clothing. Everything that fits your person look good on you. a ragged jeans and a common tank top is often more than enough to impress, (me at least
)well, it's just a few things I wanted to share to give a few girls here insights.
How about you girls add something about us blokes, what you want us to do and what we mustn't do?
hope this sticks around.
0
Comments
I think it works well for us to be "confused" by the signs by the way!!
Plausable deniability.
That would make it easier, but it won't get the girl the guy she wants. Assuming that girls are into confident guys, if you have the confidence to go up to a group of girls, then she's gonna find you much more attractive.
I don't approach girls cold because there's about a 1 in 100 chance that you'll actually get on even if you do like the look of each other. And I don't really go looking for anything where getting on with each other isn't that important. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself, then I might take an interest, but every girl that's ever approached me cold was just after casual sex, so I probably would assume that that's what you're after (which might be a good thing). If you happened to sit/stand next to me in a bar or something and we just got talking, though, it would be a different story, so I guess tactical positioning is the key.
Right, now onto my fellow guys. If you're with a female friend, (read: someone you really want to fuck, but she sees you as just friends) then don't hang around her like a bad smell when someone who actually has a shot approaches her and tries to talk to her. She's a big girl, I'm sure if she's not interested, she can tell him herself.
Even though I'm female, I have to agree 100%. This is incredibly annoying, and if you have a lot of mates of the opposite sex then it can happen all the time (I imagine to men with their female friends as well as vice versa). Grr.
As for men not being aware when a woman's cracking onto them/giving them the eye etc, I don't know if that's strictly true in a lot of cases. I reckon a lot of it comes with experience, as I've never had trouble getting my message across... Or maybe it's just that I'm incredibly obvious