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Sex before marraige

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Yes, but as I understand it, great sex tends to come from emotional closness and being able to communicate what your needs are.

    Certainly that's a big part of it, but it's not everything. I suppose it also depends on how much importance you put on sex as part of a relationship.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, but then surely if you buy into marriage, which is a religious institution, then you have to buy into all that other crap as well?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    If people want to save themsleves until they're married then fair play to them, I suppose if you it a case of you don't know what your missing unless you've tried it. ;)

    I fail to see how something that's so much fun and so natural can be considered wrong.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    Only if you buy into religion.

    You can get married for the legal protections it brings both people, but reject all the religious crap.

    ETA Marriage is not solely a religious institution, people have civil ceremonies which make no reference to God and it's a legal partnership rather than a religious one. Although I don't plan to do either as I don't think there's any need to anymore.
    Well you could get a civil partnership for that. I think that people nowadays get married more for cultural reasons, not financial reasons. It's just a way of saying you want to be with, and be faithful to that person for the rest of your life. The only question therefore, is that is "no sex before marriage" still part of that culture. In most cases it isn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    My point exactly.

    Supposing there is a God, I don't get why he'd give us something that's so much fun, but then forbid us from doing it. :confused:
    Testing your faith. What do you think? :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    Supposing there is a God, I don't get why he'd give us something that's so much fun, but then forbid us from doing it. :confused:

    Just to be a cunt! :p
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    My point exactly.

    Supposing there is a God, I don't get why he'd give us something that's so much fun, but then forbid us from doing it. :confused:
    But marriage isn't forbidden by any religion. :confused:

    The fact that sex is best in a loving relationship isn't disputed by most people. Marriage is a long term commitment to a loving relationship, nothing more. It's not that hard to understand.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    The fact that sex is best in a loving relationship isn't disputed by most people.
    You mean "The opinion that sex is best in a loving relationship isn't disputed by most people" right?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    :lol: Brilliant. "God is a cunt", says Skive. :D

    Wonder how many people will be offended by this post?
    Not many. It's a British forum. God doesn't exist in Britain. Insult the queen on the other hand.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm With Stupid wrote:
    You mean "The opinion that sex is best in a loving relationship isn't disputed by most people" right?
    Most people have better sex in a loving relationship than not. Any better for you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    Kentish wrote:
    The fact that sex is best in a loving relationship isn't disputed by most people.

    It's a very different type of sex in my opinion and yes it is often the best sex - but not always.

    Still you don't have to be married to be in a loving relationship. I was in love at 16 but I wasn't ready to get married, and thank fuck I didn't.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    If sexual realtions is that important to you, surely you shoudl know that you future partner can please you in the bedroom.

    I don't understand this attitude though.

    Great sex comes from emotional closeness- if you love someone enough to marry them, you will love them enough to find them attractive and have good sex with them. You will have the patience to teach them how to please you, and you will have the patience to learn how to please them.

    The idea that you can "test drive" sex is rather silly IMHO. And marriage is for a lifetime, that person won't be the same when they're 70, so what exactly are you "test driving" first?

    Some people think sex is very special and want to save it for their spouse. Some people think its special and want to save it for someone they love. Some people don't care about that at all. It doesn't make one choice more morally correct, and it doesn't make one choice morally inferior.

    It isn't a "trick" for people to believe that sex is special and they want to wait. For many people who wait it isn't guilt that drives them, its the fact that they feel its important to them. Who the hell are people to judge that?

    I don't believe shagging around is a "human instinct", either.

    Marriage is both a legal and spiritual event. You can get married without going anywhere near religion- civil ceremonies actually prohibit the use of religious readings and songs.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,284 Skive's The Limit
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    Wonder how many people will be offended by this post?

    Only those that believe in fairies! ;)
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    No you're right. Sex isn't forbidden, it's just only allowed within marriage which for the majority of its history has been the site of the subjugation and oppression of millions of women. Great, aren't we lucky to be given this one opportunity to use our bodies as we like.
    Say what? If your marriage is based on oppression then you probably aren't in a loving relationship. Maybe you're getting confused.
    Cheers, but I'd rather make my own decisions about how I may use my body than have it dictated to me by on high, forcing me to enter into a marriage that I can't leave, at least not if I ever want to have sex again.
    :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    It's a very different type of sex in my opinion and yes it is often the best sex - but not always.

    Still you don't have to be married to be in a loving relationship. I was in love at 16 but I wasn't ready to get married, and thank fuck I didn't.
    None of that contradicts what I said.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    Most people have better sex in a loving relationship than not. Any better for you?
    Well (drawing on my vast experience :p) I prefer it with someone I'm actually seeing. Can't answer your other question yet :(. But it's still only an opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    Just because that's your experience of it and it's certainly a popular line, doesn't mean it's necessarily true. Lots of people have fulfilling sex with people they aren't in love with. Lots of people love their partnder dearly but wish they didn't have to have sex with them. Don't assume your experience holds for everyone.
    It's a "popular line" because most people share it. Which is what I said. You seem obsessed with the idea that one partner is bound to be sexually disappointed within a marriage. It's disingenuous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    Just because that's your experience of it and it's certainly a popular line, doesn't mean it's necessarily true.

    It isn't a universal truth, I'm sure some people have better sex with people they can't stand. So what?

    We're not the ones saying that anyone who wants to wait has been "tricked" into "thinking sex is sinful".

    You enjoy shagging around, you go do that. But why the sneering about people who DON'T want to shag around? Who the hell are you to say that your life choices are better than anyone else's?

    And besides which, how does "test driving" solve anything? People change in 70 years, you know, and sometimes you don't like the changes. Having sex before marriage doesn't change owt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    scarlettleeds wrote:
    That's not what I said.

    I said religion has tricked people into believing that their natural sexual urges are sinful and shameful, which it absolutely has.

    It has?

    News to me. I don't find my "natural sexual urges" sinful in the slightest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    It has?

    News to me. I don't find my "natural sexual urges" sinful in the slightest.
    Well acting upon them then.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not quite sure what that's got to with the subject, but it isn't really marriage that created that now, is it? In many cases marriage empowered women, and it was the way in which women gained social status. It isn't as mediaeval as you try and claim, its a very simplistic and childish opinion that says marriage is nothing more than shackles.

    Getting back to the point though, I'm still waiting for someone to explain to me how you can "test drive" someone fifty years in advance. I'm also still waiting for someone to explain to me why they think sex is the only thing that counts in a marriage.
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