Just Started New Relationship Need Help

Former Member

Hey, im Brad and im 18 years of age. Ive just found this site, and this is my first topic, and i was just wondering if any of you could give me advice in my new relationship..

I met a girl, zoey who is 16, who has now been going out with me for just over 9 days.

In the past 9 days, we've spent so much time together, nearly everyday and night. When i first met her i fell i love with the girl, couldnt stop thinking about her etc.

Now, its starting to wear off, my feelings arnt so strong now, and we have started to have little arguements over stupid things. Also, id like to have more sex and more kissing but she just doesnt seem interested in any of those.

She tells me she loves me but i really don't know if she's telling the truth..

Is there anyway i can find out whether she really does love me, or is just in love with the idea of being in love?

Can anyone help me through this new relationship and give me advice.. :yeees:

JsT

Don't expect too much too soon.

Former Member

9 days? It's not love.

Former Member

No? How can i tell if it is love then?

Dont u hear stories about people who fall in love at first site?

Former Member

brad18 wrote:

Dont u hear stories about people who fall in love at first site?

Strong crushes yes, love, no. Love is something that's built up through time. You can't say you love someone because you think they're really attractive, good personality and have had a great time with them.

Former Member

hmmm i see what u mean

Former Member

Doesnt absence make the heart grow fonder? :chin:
I always find that if I spend more than 3 hours with someone I can get bored with them................nearly always anyway. :razz:

Former Member

She probably doesn't want the physical side as you are pressuring her.

Former Member

I used to tell my girlfriend I loved her all the time (you know, in a casual way) when we were just friends, but now we've started going out, I don't wanna say it until we are in love, because I don't wanna freak her out.

I'd say the only way you could've been in love after that amount of time would be if you'd been close friends for ages first, but since you started with "I met this girl..." then I doubt that's the case.

And I agree there is such a thing as spending too much time together. Spending every second of the day together can be a bit intense with someone you don't know that well, no matter how much you like them. And pressuring her for sex isn't going to help. She's probably just gotten cold feet a bit, especially if you're the first guy she's been with. Just relax and take it slower.

My suspicion is that she said she loves you 'in the moment' and now she realises that she was a bit hasty. I reckon she's a bit scared because she now thinks that she's in a proper serious relationship, and she isn't ready to get that serious that quickly.

Haha, I'm good at pointing out the problems, not too good at the solutions.

Oh and 9 days? Most people haven't even decided whether they're going out officially by that point, never mind that they're in love.

Former Member

relationships arent about having as much sex as possible - you've not even been together 2 weeks and you're bored already. Its not love, its lust.