Getting a girlfriend

Former Member

Whats the best way of getting a girlfriend? I've never really had a proper g/f relationship. I've tried but somehow I'm held back by the fact that I suffer from severe acne and it affects my confidence. How should I go about it?

Former Member

I don't think there is a way for say to get a girlfriend...

Acne can be a pain but personality and confidence is more important...

Try to be more confident and not let your acne problem affect you too much...

Former Member

I take it you didn't know that if you actually go out and look for a girlfriend, you're less likely to get one than if you're not actually looking for one?

Do you belong to any club of some sort?

if you ask a girl out and she says 'no' (or something like that) don't keep on - talking from experience, if someone keeps asking me out the answer is still the same.

And why do you want a girlfriend anyway? Is it because everyone else has one and you feel left out by any chance?

Former Member

Sofie wrote:

I take it you didn't know that if you actually go out and look for a girlfriend, you're less likely to get one than if you're not actually looking for one?

Yeah, if you approach every girl as a potential girlfriend, then you'll never get one. And you won't improve your social skills either, which is why it's important to not just hang out with girls that you fancy. Talk to everyone. If a girl likes you, she won't fancy you less just because you don't spend every second of the day with her. Be flirty and fun when you're with her, but don't be with her all the time, if you get what I mean (she'll fill in the bits she hasn't seen yet, and if she fancies you, you can be sure she'll think the best of you). It's all about not putting too much pressure on someone, and if you approach everyone as a potential girlfriend, that's what you do.

Sofie wrote:

if you ask a girl out and she says 'no' (or something like that) don't keep on - talking from experience, if someone keeps asking me out the answer is still the same.

Agreed. Even less likely to work is the straight-from-the-heart text about how much you love her and have been thinking about her. I've seen this done so many times, and never successfully. No-one wants to be put under that sort of pressure by someone they're just friends with, even if they fancied you back.

Former Member

How can you get the confidence to talk to everyone and girls when all theyve ever said to you is "your shit,worthless,boring,no personality etc"?
That happened all my school life and Im worried it would just be the same everywhere.Are the girls in clubs different to girls when I was at school?
Sorry,bit off topic and a naff question but Id like to know.

Former Member

Yeah, girls in school are.... well, girls in school. Immature - there's the word I was looking for.

Just go for it - the worst they can do is say no (or slap you / beat you up... just kidding. But seriously - don't be stalkerish, or they will).

Former Member

The Leaf wrote:

That happened all my school life and Im worried it would just be the same everywhere.Are the girls in clubs different to girls when I was at school?
Sorry,bit off topic and a naff question but Id like to know.

Just because people give you a hard time at school doesn't mean that everyone will. :thumb: Speaking from experience a new group of people is a chance for a clean slate and to meet some really great people!

Former Member

Well,Im not a stalker its just that Im just used to accepting that girls hate me and Im below them or whatever..........Its hard because I kinda tell myself theyd be better off without me saying hi or whatever,if I talk to them I`ll spoil the fun or euin their evening.I think they`ll be alll stuck up,like they think they`re princesses or something and Im a tramp leper and just give me the "why are you even alive look" I got so much.............
Wow,my late night posts are more depressing than normal!!!

Former Member

It's friday, it's 12:30...you could be out? More likely to meet girls that way then you are talking about how you can't on the internet.

When i met my girlfriend i was quite literally wearing the last pair of clean clothes i had on, i probably looked a right mess, so appearance isn't everything obviously.

Former Member

Tugger wrote:

Whats the best way of getting a girlfriend?

I reckon winning the national lottery is a failsafe method!

Former Member

I would have been out tonight but it got cancelled.
And its not just my clothes that would be messed up.........my head is a total fuck up as well.
But I would have been well steaming tonight though..... :thumb:

Former Member

A Photograph Of Me wrote:

It's friday, it's 12:30...you could be out? More likely to meet girls that way then you are talking about how you can't on the internet.

When i met my girlfriend i was quite literally wearing the last pair of clean clothes i had on, i probably looked a right mess, so appearance isn't everything obviously.

Lol. I knew I had no chance of pulling tonight, because I wanted to (but was too knackered to actually initiate anything myself). I always get way more attention when I don't really want it, like when I've not even showered and am wearing my worst stuff. Was a shit night out anyway though, even without the girl situation.

Former Member

The Leaf wrote:

.........my head is a total fuck up as well.

So what? You don't think Pete Docherty is a bit fucked in the head? But he still manages to go out with Kate Moss. Fucked up = interesting.

Former Member

From experinece, if you dont't look you will find. Trust me.

Former Member

Pete dohertys fucked cos of drugs,but he has confidence whereas I have no self belief/confidence/esteem etc.Thats why Im fucked. :banghead:
I was trying to work on it and I felt much better but it creeped back in again......

Former Member

The Leaf wrote:

Pete dohertys fucked cos of drugs,but he has confidence whereas I have no self belief/confidence/esteem etc.Thats why Im fucked. :banghead:
I was trying to work on it and I felt much better but it creeped back in again......

Ay, the confidence issue is the number one thing when it comes to being with girls (even when you get past the first few dates phase and you're going out proper, you need to have the confidence to know that she's into you, otherwise you'll become all jealous and possessive and constantly wonder what she's doing with you). The Pete Docherty thing was just to show that you can have plenty of issues (and God knows, he's got a lot) but if you remain confident in yourself, you can still get girls (though the relationship might not be what you'd call healthy). Pete Docherty gets his confidence from being a good songwriter. You've just got to find something that give you confidence in the same way.

Former Member

Hmmmmmm.......................Im good at spelling?
Seriously though I dont have anything Im particularly good at. Maybe in a few years I`l be able to say Im good on guitar hopefully.Thats it really...
Oh well,shit happens.I can deal with lonliness. :razz:

Former Member

The Leaf wrote:

Hmmmmmm.......................Im good at spelling?
Seriously though I dont have anything Im particularly good at. Maybe in a few years I`l be able to say Im good on guitar hopefully.

Do you not draw confidence whenever you see an improvement? Does it not feel good when you finally learn a song that you haven't been able to play?

And is this just a girl issue, or a talking to new people in general issue? Because you can talk to new people as friends without any risk of rejection, then if one of these people happens to end up being a girl that likes you, then that's a bonus, but don't go out expecting that or looking for that.

Former Member

if you feel like youre worthless and crap then no girls gonna think any different. Its a bit of a vicious circle. Spots has nothing to do with it. My stepbrother is 17 and really bad acne, but hes so up himself (in a good way), he knows hes intelligent, hes sure of his coolness.I get the impression he thinks hes the king of the school. His girlfriend is gorgeous.
Often Its how you are in yourself that attracts people tbh.

Former Member

Oh dear I really am farked then!!
But,I have seen an improvement in my guitaring today.......a little bit anyway.Its just talking to people in general really and I know its a vicious circle but a hard one to break!! :banghead:

Former Member

its not like youre gonna be single forever though. everyone finds someone eventually. Some people just take longer than others. No big deal.
just wank more.

Former Member

The best way of attracting people to you is to be yourself, and be confident in yourself.

If you think you're worthless and crap you'll never meet anyone. Firstly you'll be too terrified to just start talking to people, and secondly negativity puts people off. If you're always negative and down about everything then, quite simply, people don't have the time or inclination to deal with you. If they don't know you, people will rarely be arsed to deal with your misery, it's too much work.

I actually think a lot of shy people just need to get a job where they need to deal with people regularly. Customer service roles did wonders for my confidence, because you learn how to deal with people.

Former Member

Whats the best way of getting a girlfriend?

Former Member

I was looking for a sales type job for speaking to people but Im not wallking around selling things out of a suitcase....!
Customer services jobs.........I`ll have a look at them.

Former Member

The Leaf wrote:

I was looking for a sales type job for speaking to people but Im not wallking around selling things out of a suitcase....!
Customer services jobs.........I`ll have a look at them.

Nah, go for jobs in electrical shops, mobile phone shops, furniture shops, that kind of thing. They all require sales people, and judging by past experience, you don't seem to require any clue about what you're advising customers on.

Former Member

Excellent,sounds like something Id be good at then cos I dont usually know what on earths going on......
"Yes sir,this sofa can do 0-60 in 5-6secs and also has numerous mobile phones BUILT-IN and you can also just stick your washing in the back and it tumble drys it as wellPlus,toilets UNDER the seats!!
How much?I`ll let you have it at the bargain price of £5555999000000." :chin:

Former Member

What happens happens... Just be roguish and charming at the same time... Kinda like me.


Nah seriously mate... I think the most attractive people arethe ones who don't wantor need a relationship... Just be you, it'll happen.

Former Member

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

Just be you, it'll happen.

Totally agreed here. Why does it matter that you don't have a girlfriend now anyway?

Former Member

Its 9pm on a Saturday night and I'm in on my own, sad ain't it? Anyone had any experience of dating through online websites or personal ads? I reckon they're my only chance.

Former Member

Its 9pm...........Iv been sat alone EVERY saturday night all my life.Its no big deal.Plenty more saturdays and friday nights to come. :thumb:
To be honest Id just be happy having some girls as just friends,girls at school thought I was below them so it would be nice to actually converse with a girl without worrying when the slagging me off part would be......

Former Member

im in at 9pm on a saturday too.
Its not some unwritten law that if you dont go and sit in a pub/club youre sad.
stop envying what other people do.