Tracing my childhood

Former Member

Ok, there's the deal.

When I was very young, I went to live with my granparents.

I have vague recollection of something about my mother walking out on my dad one day out of the blue.

I've only ever asked my family really vague questions like how old was I when I went to live with my granparents, or when I finally came back to live with my dad. Never anything about what happened or why.

The last time anyone even mentioned my mother was when I must have been about 12/13 years old, and some school friends ask how come I live with my dad and when did they get divorced. I just said that I have no idea and no one has ever told me. I think they were quite shocked.

Well now I'm 23 years old, and I've been thinking about this issue a lot.

I'm not even sure why I really want to know, but I think I should atleast know a little about my childhood, not neccessarily about my mother.

So it all comes down to this:

I'm finding it very difficult to ask my family for the information. I dont know if its some abandonemnt issue or not wanting to dredge up old memories for my family. I'm a tad confused how to go about this. Or whether I should even bring up the topic.

Former Member

This all sounds really strange to me. You have a right to know what happened with your mother, its not like you're a child any more! You really need to bring this issue up with someone who knows about and NOT let them avoid the question. You're family might be trying to protect you but you need to tell them you're not a child anymore.

Former Member

Hi there Pendari Champion,

i am sorry to hear about your predicament, but you most definately deserve to know about the events of your childhood and should not feel akward about asking about your past.

When you do bring up the subject, it may be difficult and uncomfortable at first but remember to be understanding about why your grandparents and father would have probably hidden it from you in the past. They probably thought it was for the best and were trying to protect you from what they felt could cause you potential harm.

When and if you are given explanaitions about your childhood, be sure to talk over any feelings or thoughts that you may have and not keep them bottled up inside, it will make you feel better to run through any thoughts you may have.

I hope you work it out.

Former Member

I did try talking to my family today, but after a few probing question about when I lived with my granparents and what I was like as a child, I found it really difficult to ask deeper questions and just left it at that again.

Do you think it would be ok to go and talk to my aunt. Shes very close to us, and I think I'd be a lot more comfortable talking to her. But I'm pretty sure she'd tell my dad or granparents about what I asked her.

My thinking is, if I talked to my aunt, and she passed on our discusson to the family, atleast they'd know I'm trying to find out this information. Does that make sense?

Former Member

Give it a go!

Former Member

folkrocker wrote:

Give it a go!

I agree :yes:

I think your family will be expecting you to ask questions sooner or later and probably wont be as shocked or uncomfortable as you imagine.

You deserve to know what happened like others have said, but you have to accept that you might hear something which you're not prepared for or even hurt by. I guess thats the risk, personally I think its one worth taking.

Good luck honey! x