Is it fair? - Jealousy

Former Member

Ok, the other night my boyfriend and I were making out, only he decided to ask what would I do if he ever cheated on me. I answered and we went back to making out.

About thirty minutes later, he asked me another question along the lines of "what would you do if I were to meet up with this girl who wants to meet up with me and so-and-so says that she's really, really hot. She also knows that I'm taken and doesn't care."

I basically told him that I didn't like it, but I couldn't stop him from meeting up with her so he answers, "good, because I would've gone anyway. I need to go to prove to myself that I won't cheat."

I find the last part BS about how he has to prove that he won't cheat and if he would've gone anyway, why did he bother asking my opinion? Plus, why did he have to bring it up then? Couldn't it have waited till after we were making out or the next day? Is it unreasonable that I'm mad at him, mostly because of the last two sentences?

Former Member

you are in the right to be mad at him, in my opinon. To me personally that sounded like "im meeting up with a girl that likes me+would be willing to do stuff even tho she's aware i have a g.f - and there's nothing you can do about it"
Why does he feel he has to prove to himself that he wont cheat? Has he cheated on ppl before, or is he tempted by this girl?

Former Member

tbh it sounds like hes testing the water on what would happen if he did cheat/has cheated and might tell you,

not trying to worry you or anything but it could be what hes trying to do, I dont see why he'd have to prove it unless he is the insecure sort of guy and hasn't had a serious R'ship, I understand why your mad at him but the only thing you can do is talk to him I guess.

Former Member

Yep, you have every right to be annoyed there, I would be.

Like you said, why ask your opinion when he was going to go/has gone anyway. And you didn't even say you were happy for him to go. He now knows that while you wouldn't stop him it would upset you and you wouldn't be happy with it, so for him to go ahead and do it would show little regard for your feelings.

To be honest, I would be very suspicious, no one need to "prove" they won't cheat by doing things like that. He should show this girl that he's not interested in cheating on you by steering clear. I can't see anything good coming from him meeting up with her.

Former Member

red_jelly wrote:

Yep, you have every right to be annoyed there, I would be.

Like you said, why ask your opinion when he was going to go/has gone anyway. And you didn't even say you were happy for him to go. He now knows that while you wouldn't stop him it would upset you and you wouldn't be happy with it, so for him to go ahead and do it would show little regard for your feelings.

To be honest, I would be very suspicious, no one need to "prove" they won't cheat by doing things like that. He should show this girl that he's not interested in cheating on you by steering clear. I can't see anything good coming from him meeting up with her.

red_jellys summed it up. how would have he have reacted if you had of said the same. your bf sounds like a tit for making you feel this way

Former Member

Why does he feel he has to prove to himself that he wont cheat? Has he cheated on ppl before, or is he tempted by this girl?

I know that he started saying that he 'loved' a girl while dating another girl last year, but he broke up with her before dating the other girl. He also hasn't met this girl and it's a friend that's calling her hot.

I'm going to talk to him tonight or tomorrow.

Former Member

That seems really stupid of him. You have a right to be mad.

Former Member

From your post, I can't imagine him being older than about 16. If he really wasn't going to cheat, or wasn't interested in this girl, then he could've just hung out with her without making an issue of it. Sounds like he's trying to make you jealous and clingy for some reason, but I don't really know why someone would do that. Don't give him the satisfaction. Go out with some of your friends instead while he's out with her.

Oh and 'making out,' I can just never get used to that.

Former Member

I talked to him quickly on the phone because he had to go with his mom somewhere and he agreed to not go, but he did want the reasons why I was against him going. So later, I talked to him online because his brother was on the phone and told him to read a protective post I had made on my xanga because I didn't think I'd see him before tomorrow.

Well, he said that he had just viewed the situation as a chance to meet a new friend and then he added that he was worried about how I'd react if he hadn't told me, so I flip out and start telling him everything that he had done wrong and if he hadn't brought it up then or said some of the stuff he did, I wouldn't have cared.

I probably should've waited till I saw him face to face and so that's my mistake.

Making out does sound weird, but necking sounds more weird. He's also over 16.

Former Member

What a tit. How old is he, 12?

Sounds like he's fishing for a threesome to be quite honest. Tell him to get knotted.

Former Member

i would be pissed off if i was you. dont want to worry you anything, but it sounds like he's planning to meet up with this girl. I got fucked over by my ex in a similar way to this, if i was you, i'd keep your eyes open for anything else wierd that he does

Former Member

Not sure why he's saying anything at all, to be honest. I'm not sure why he'd want to mention it.

Former Member

Hellfire wrote:

tbh it sounds like hes testing the water on what would happen if he did cheat/has cheated and might tell you,

not trying to worry you or anything but it could be what hes trying to do, I dont see why he'd have to prove it unless he is the insecure sort of guy and hasn't had a serious R'ship, I understand why your mad at him but the only thing you can do is talk to him I guess.

this is what i think too.