Guys eyeing you up? Guys, girls...

Former Member

I've noticed a few times whilst in a club with a lot of gay blokes there, sometimes there are one or two stood on the dance floor just staring at me! It is a bit freaky; I don't mind gay people at all, but come on, even if I was gay I wouldn't be attracted to someone standing there like some kind of stalker...have any other blokes (gay or straight) experienced this?

I was also wondering if that's what it's like for girls sometimes? Do a lot of blokes just stand there and stare at you? I personally find it quite intimidating sometimes (especially if it's a 6'5'' guy with his top off and built like Arnie) and I can imagine it might be for a girl too? I will go up to a girl and talk to her, or at least give her a smile from a distance, not just stare blankly at them! What do you think?

Former Member

Sometimes you might not want to pull, but it doesn't stop you enjoying the show.

Former Member

girls i really don't mind but i've had a few blokes eyeing me up in clubs and it is offputting, I try not to let it bother me but the worst thing is when you look over to see if they're still looking, and then they think you're checking them out or something, lol maybe i'm paranoid........actually the worst thing is when they come over and try to start grinding up on you, like wtf surely it's straight until proven gay right? it's only happened a couple of times but it ruins the night for me, makes you feel sort of dirty.....maybe that's just me.

Former Member

yeh guys do tend to stare and its not just when i'm out either. they do it on buses or in shops. sometimes cars slow down just to have a perv. lol you get used to it and take it as a compliment. the only time it made me feel uncomfortable was when i lived in france. when you're in england and someone is staring and you make eye contact they usually look away but over there they just continue staring for ages.

Former Member

if they're fit then no it doesn't bother me!

annoying when you're in a club and they'll stand eyeing you up but not do anything about it. this is where i take the initiative! once a lad was eyeing me up all night - it came to the end of the night and he'd still not spoken to me. as i was leaving, he ran after me and asked for my number. :yeees:

Former Member

lucifer devil wrote:

if they're fit then no it doesn't bother me!

annoying when you're in a club and they'll stand eyeing you up but not do anything about it. this is where i take the initiative! once a lad was eyeing me up all night - it came to the end of the night and he'd still not spoken to me. as i was leaving, he ran after me and asked for my number. :yeees:

i don't follow, where exactly did you take the initiative then.....?

Former Member

~Apollo~ wrote:

i don't follow, where exactly did you take the initiative then.....?

the little story i put at the end was nothing to do with me saying this is where i take the initiative.

Former Member

ah, okay, you'll have to forgive me for getting confused when you start off saying you take the initiative, and then follow on with a completely unrelated scenario that actually contradicts your first statement.....

Former Member

~Apollo~ wrote:

ah, okay, you'll have to forgive me for getting confused when you start off saying you take the initiative, and then follow on with a completely unrelated scenario that actually contradicts your first statement.....

sorry for not paragraphing my response properly.

:rolleyes:

Former Member

~Apollo~ wrote:

ah, okay, you'll have to forgive me for getting confused when you start off saying you take the initiative, and then follow on with a completely unrelated scenario that actually contradicts your first statement.....

Former Member

lol

do ladies ever really make a first definitive move when they are out in a club or indeed wherever?

Former Member

Walkindude wrote:

lol

do ladies ever really make a first definitive move when they are out in a club or indeed wherever?

Yeah they do. It's not always as good as it sounds either. I feel sorry for girls who're constantly hit on by mingers.

Former Member

It would be nice to see more girls making the first move.

I have seen the odd smile but thats it.

Former Member

Walkindude wrote:

It would be nice to see more girls making the first move.

I have seen the odd smile but thats it.

That's usually about as much as you get. But what more invitation do you need?

I don't mind girls making the first move if you're on the dance floor or when they get their friends to get you to approach them or something. But I can't stand it when they try and drag you on the dance floor, especially if they try and take your drink off you so you can dance with them. :mad:

Former Member

I'm With Stupid wrote:

..especially if they try and take your drink off you so you can dance with them. :mad:

Better that than them drinking your drink, which I've seen an awful lot of recently... Strange.

A man/men staring usually makes me feel incredibly self-conscious, I'd much prefer they came over but I can understand why they wouldn't want to. Unfortunately it's always the slightly deranged/pissed/geriatric ones that come over, which is quite disappointing.

Former Member

never been eyed up by a bloke, for that matter ive never been aware of gays when im out, they proberly dont come to watford as its too close to London.

Girls sometimes do make the first iniciative by looking over. Or occasionally you get them or a mate coming over asking for your number- there usually the ugly ones.

Former Member

damn.

its wack coz I see hot girls in clubs and I dont go over. I don't stare either, I do look, but casually. Dance my thing, dance with friends, then give glances to see if they are looking at me.

I never seen or experinced a girl who didnt knwo the guy beforehand going up and asking him for a dance.

Sometimes if I am dancing and there is a girl I liek there I will dance near but not touch her, but not gridning her near, just near and see if she appracohes me that way.

Last time I went out there was a girl there and I was dancing near her and I looked and I saw her look but never more then a fleeting glance. She pulled some boke who just came up behind her then went off. Talking to my friend the next day, he reckoned she was looking at me as if she wanted me to dance and stuff but I didn't see it and she thought probably I was interested in her mate, which to be fair I was,a s they were both attractive although looked compeltely different.

Once the girl pulled the guy, I actually spoke to her mate but she left with not much word so nothing there

Former Member

Whenever I go to a certain club this middle aged man on his own always offers to buy me a drink. I always say no, but he always comes over with a something. I'd never even talked to him or anything. Last time he bought me and my gay friend one. Dunno what he was expecting but I don't really wanna guess either.

Former Member

lol!!!

fancies a bit of young me thinks!

Former Member

A week ago me and my friend were sitting down and there was this guy on the jukebox. To me it looked like he wanted to mug us but apparently he was doing the 'eyeing up' thing.

Former Member

Rachael wrote:

A week ago me and my friend were sitting down and there was this guy on the jukebox. To me it looked like he wanted to mug us but apparently he was doing the 'eyeing up' thing.

Might have been doing his best bad-boy impression to impress you. And it didn't work?

Former Member

yeah thats a good point.

I have , for a long time, tried doing the "silent, handsome, mysterious stranger" thing, but I don't seem to get the swooning women like you see in movies and tv.

Does the tall, dark, mysterious stranger thing work?

Former Member

Not in a club. It might work if you're the mysterious stranger who she passes every day on the way to work or on the bus, but in a club you just look bored or in a bad mood. And who want's to hang out with someone like that?

Interestingly, I've found the least effort I've put into my appearance before I go out, the more attention I get from girls. I'm talking wearing the clothes I've been wearing all day travelling and stuff like that. Then I'm too self concious to pull any of them because I smell. Wierd. Probably just because I'm more relaxed, and not actually on the pull as such.

Former Member

indeed.

trouble is, casual look doesn't get into that many clubs in leeds and you don't wana piss of the bouncers.

Former Member

I'm With Stupid wrote:

Might have been doing his best bad-boy impression to impress you. And it didn't work?

God knows. He looked incredibly shifty for an admirer though.

Former Member

I've been chatted up by a gay bloke before, was quite flattering really, we're still mates but it didnt go anywhere.

On the flip side a girl leered openly at me when I was at a club recently which was a nice boost to the self confidence.

Former Member

bongbudda wrote:

I've been chatted up by a gay bloke before, was quite flattering really, we're still mates but it didnt go anywhere.

On the flip side a girl leered openly at me when I was at a club recently which was a nice boost to the self confidence.

Haha. What did she do?

Former Member

Rachael wrote:

Haha. What did she do?

I was just leaving, and I had noticed her earlier and as I walked past she did the obvious eyeing me up and down motion, you know, her eyes sort of narrowed a bit, bedroom eyes sort of look. Oh well.

Former Member

.

Former Member

wooooooooah wrote:

I've noticed a few times whilst in a club with a lot of gay blokes there, sometimes there are one or two stood on the dance floor just staring at me! It is a bit freaky; I don't mind gay people at all, but come on, even if I was gay I wouldn't be attracted to someone standing there like some kind of stalker...have any other blokes (gay or straight) experienced this?

I was also wondering if that's what it's like for girls sometimes? Do a lot of blokes just stand there and stare at you? I personally find it quite intimidating sometimes (especially if it's a 6'5'' guy with his top off and built like Arnie) and I can imagine it might be for a girl too? I will go up to a girl and talk to her, or at least give her a smile from a distance, not just stare blankly at them! What do you think?

Most girls get eyed up. Whenever I'm out there will be the odd guy just staring at me like some weirdo. Like Lipsy also said, you also get guys beeping their car horns or eyeing you up as they drive past. I also get chatted up in work alot but you know, I'm a barmaid, it comes with the job. Personally, I've got used to it over the years. Sometimes it really bothers me though.

Former Member

id rather they did something like smile rather than just stare blankly. or come over and say hi. im not too bothered if someone comes over and starts dancing with me but a little bit of conversation does help!