Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

how do i finish it

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ok well its obvious that were not happy so i think its time to finish it. and i think its gonna have to be me that says it.

he admitted to me ages ago that he doesnt like finishing with people and usually acts like a kn*b so that they finish with him, i think thats whats hes doing now to be honest.

thing is i know that after i do it im gonna want him back, its the way i am, so i need some support off you guys on how to make myself go through with it (its the best thing for both of us even though i dont want to) and how to stick by my decision after.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the only advice i have is to be honest.

    if you feel yourself backing down then just ask yourself are the reasons that you broke up still there? do you think that you would be happier back with him than you were before.

    be nice to yourself it can be hard to adjust to being just you and not part of a couple. do things that you wouldnt usually have time to do if you were with him, contact all your friends and have a girly night out.

    take care :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Make a decision and stick to it. I would say, if you're going for it then don't send any mixed messages. If he thinks you might get back together you could be tempted to go back.
    Tell yourself it's the right thing to do, and think of the freedom after.

    Good Luck whatever you choose.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    surely just break it off with him by telling him its over? if hes acting like a knob and wants to end it anyway why would he take you back if you split up? it doesnt really make any sence...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    surely just break it off with him by telling him its over? if hes acting like a knob and wants to end it anyway why would he take you back if you split up? it doesnt really make any sence...


    its not that hell take me back i just know that after ill realise that ive got no one else and ill want him back and i cant guarantee that i wont be a dick about it and text him etc when i shouldnt.

    im one of those sad little tarts that doesnt feel worth anything unless she has a lad. pathetic but its the truth and ive learnt to live with it, i know im going to do it, not cos i want him but because i want someone. i just need help not to.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    littleoleme wrote:
    im one of those sad little tarts that doesnt feel worth anything unless she has a lad. pathetic but its the truth and ive learnt to live with it, i know im going to do it, not cos i want him but because i want someone. i just need help not to.
    Judging by this post i would say you have a slight problem with self confidence, you are obviously desireable as your bf wanted to be with you in the 1st place. maybe he doesnt now i dont know, but not all relationships are for life and most do just run their course and fizzle out. As others have said, grab your mates and hit the town! Dont just get with the 1st guy that comes along, maybe try being single for a little while and then decide if you want someone new. :chin:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    littleoleme wrote:
    ok well its obvious that were not happy so i think its time to finish it. and i think its gonna have to be me that says it.

    he admitted to me ages ago that he doesnt like finishing with people and usually acts like a kn*b so that they finish with him, i think thats whats hes doing now to be honest.

    thing is i know that after i do it im gonna want him back, its the way i am, so i need some support off you guys on how to make myself go through with it (its the best thing for both of us even though i dont want to) and how to stick by my decision after.

    I'm sorry to hear it's come to this, but to be honest it's probably the sensible option and the kindest to both of your hearts...he wasn't exactly making you ecstatic, was he hon?

    The fact that he's said to you he acts like a knob to make people finish with him is strange behaviour, and if you think that might be what he's been doing to you then keep that in mind when you're maybe tempted to go back to him. He may be smart, funny, great to be around...but there are so many ways in which you don't seem to be on the same wavelength. You deserve someone who is on your wavelength. :)

    Like other wise people have said, you need to do some straight-talking, and have a resolve as icy as possible. It's easier said than done, but you must keep in mind your previous posts...the ways he's made you unhappy, though all that'll be flooding your mind is the happy times. Tell him what you've been telling us - you want different things from a relationship, even in the short term...you feel he doesn't have the time to devote to your relationship. You think it's best you just let it lie, and maybe try and be friends in the future.

    As for needing a boyfriend, I think the time post-break-up would be an excellent time to put into action "Operation single gal littleoleme". You need to learn to enjoy your own company, know your own merits and weaknesses and basically just fucking LOVE yourself...before you can be in a relationship that's going to be wonderful. At least that's my POV. Anyway, one hurdle at a time, try and do this as calmly as you can, and with a steely-ish resolve.

    I hope it all goes well, if you need a pep talk/kick up the arse then you can always PM me. :)
Sign In or Register to comment.