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wanna say thanks again for all your comments.. and as promised, i will let you know how it went
well..... hmmm.... so difficult to describe...
well i am still alive and well as you can see so he didnt turn out to be some psycho-murdering-rapist
It was fine, actually. We met, we went out, we had some good times
I guess this is from a number of things
- firstly, a first date does not usually entail spending 3 days with someone..... I would get sick of some of my close friends in 3 days together, let alone someone i was meeting in RL for the first time.
- secondly, as ppl have stated here, ppl are different in RL than on internet. even tho I had seen him on webcam and heard on mic and phone, he looked and sounded a little different in RL and same goes for personality. I guess also in IM and stuff, if u dont have anything to say for 5mins its nothing but in RL that equals an uncomfortable silence.
- thirdly (and i think mostly), I think we built it up way too much. we had this great thing in internet and therefore thought wow if its this good in internet, it must be gonna be fucking amazing in RL... we didnt dislike each other when meeting (thank god) but when it wasnt instantly this 'love of my life' feeling, it was disappointing and weird instead.
hmm.. well that is just my rant about it and letting you all know that it went OK and i am safe and sound
and my advice to anyone considering doing the same.. listen to stuff like what was said here to me and work out a safety plan (you have enough to worry abt meeting someone for the first time without worrying about something terrible happening to you as well), and dont build up your expectations to much, just go for fun/interest so that way good bits will be a bonus rather than bad bits being a disappointment
And I'm very proud of the fact that you were able to approach and assess the whole deal maturely
Go you!
x
I'm sorry to appear like the prophet of doom here, but I feel if I didn't say this, I wouldn't be doing my duty. Intrepide, having read how the meeting went on, I note how similar it was to a meeting I had last year. During the last part of 2004, I met someone on the Internet who was living in the UK as well. (let's call her Miss A for the sakes of this post) We arranged to meet up in London and spend a few days together. I couldn't think of a better place, amidst the big city, there would be plenty to do and see.
On meeting her, I could see quite clearly in her face that she was disappointed, though she denied it when I questioned her about it later. We spent just over two days together, staying in a West London hotel at night. And there is no doubt that was my first mistake. I should have imposed a much stricter time limit on how much I was going to spend there, perhaps one day at a maximum, because frankly, by the start of the third day, she was sick to death of the sight of me. Three weeks after I'd met her, Miss A called me saying she didn't want us to be friends anymore, and we haven't spoken since.
Why? You've learnt that people can be different in real life than online. For instance, Miss A had the impression that I was an outgoing, confident young man who she was going to fall in love with at first sight. I turned out to be very introverted, lacking in confidence and shy, and there is no question she felt bitterly let down. What I would say is, if you're getting to know someone online, make sure you have lots of pictures of this person, and have plenty of phone calls. And make absolutely certain you're getting to know the real person. If in any doubt, don't meet them.
As for building it up, I think Miss A did this far more than me. I saw her more as a friend, (though I admit when I met her I did fancy her) If something works well on the Internet, it's no guarantee it'll work in real life, as the two environments are simply so different. Mind you, none of this has put me off meeting people from the net. I've met several people off this site by now, and I'm trying to work out a way to get to meet another one, as soon as money allows. The experience didn't go that well, fair enough, but don't let it put you off meeting people in future.