meeting guy off internet

Former Member

hi

i know there are other threads like this and i have read through them... dont know that i really want advice but just to kinda talk about it...

basically there is a guy who i met online and now i am thinking about meeting him in real life. we have chatted now pretty much daily for about 2 months (we knew of each other for a few months before that but didnt chat in depth). we have chatted by email and on msn and also with webcam. also we have sent txt msgs and chatted by phone a few times so i do feel that we know each other pretty well.

I really like him and i want to meet him in RL. I guess i am just a little worried about it since this will be the first time i met anyone off the internet.. I have read all the safety tips etc but it is a little complicated since we actually live in different countries so to meet him, i will actually be flying to his country..... already i have thought to set up meeting in a public place first and booking a hotel so it is not that i have to rely on him for somewhere to stay if things dont work out but it is still kinda scary.

I will tell someone where i am going etc (although this might be tricky since when i have mentioned him so far to friends, they look at me as if i am crazy talking about this internet person) but they wont really be able to be my safety net since i will be in another country....

i really want to meet him, but all this is kinda freaky....

Former Member

This is probably the trickiest one I've come across yet! Erm...

Okay, what I say is if you want to meet him, that's fine. But going to another country? At the very least, I would strongly advise that you go to the other country with another person, for your own safety if nothing else.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote:

This is probably the trickiest one I've come across yet! Erm...

Okay, what I say is if you want to meet him, that's fine. But going to another country? At the very least, I would strongly advise that you go to the other country with another person, for your own safety if nothing else.

I totally agree, meeting someone in a town where you know your way around and can have friends keep an eye out for you is all well and good but visiting them in another country is a bit risky..

Former Member

icey wrote:

I totally agree, meeting someone in a town where you know your way around and can have friends keep an eye out for you is all well and good but visiting them in another country is a bit risky..

Living in the north of Wales, I thought that meeting someone down in London was difficult enough, but another country just makes it even more complicated.

Bring a friend with you, I strongly advise it.

Former Member

Hm, i met a guy off the net who i'd known several years when i was visiting the area. Met him with several members of my family when we were out one day in the middle of a big park in the summer. So i was pretty safe, plus i'd done all the webcam chat and phone talking. He's also my boyfriend now
I say take a friend or 2 with you - and be sure you really want to do it, because its surprising that you can get on with someone really well on the net, but it can completly change in person.

littlemissy

Get him to come to you.

Good luck with it all.

Former Member

littlemissy wrote:

Get him to come to you.

My thoughts exactly.

Is that a possibility?

Former Member

littlemissy wrote:

Get him to come to you.

Good luck with it all.

At least you would have your friends with you then :yes:

Safety in numbers and all that.

Former Member

Going to another country... he'd have to be VERY special for me to even consider that!

Former Member

I would get him to come to you, as its normally safer for men to travel on thier own then girls, if he is unable to come over to you then I would strongly recommend that you take a friend or two with you, for safe reasons.

When I meet my boyfriend after a month of emailing, msn, phoning etc, I did not take a friend with me, but I did let them know where I was, plus they only lived round the corner from the pub we where going so all i had to do was text them and they would be there in a couple of minutes. Also it was in a famiular area for me, just a few minutes from my uni.

Former Member

Yeah if you can get him to come to you the first time that would be good. If not i'd really recommend taking a friend with you. but either way i wish you luck. :thumb:

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote:

Okay, what I say is if you want to meet him, that's fine. But going to another country? At the very least, I would strongly advise that you go to the other country with another person, for your own safety if nothing else.

Couldn't have said this better myself! Whatever you decide to do, be very careful and if you can avoid travelling abroad on your own, do.

Former Member

I would say if you were serious about meeting him definately take a friend or two with you - for safety but also because what happens if it doesnt' work out as planned, then you have someone there for moral support.

I'd additionally advise not to make going to see him the main part of your trip instead consider it as a holiday with the added bonus of you possibly meeting up with this person rather than meeting up with him being the main focus of your trip. That way even if its not what you expected it should hopefully still be really fun.

Lastly make him do some of the work - don't go to his home town make him come to where you are or meet half way.

Can you reveal which country it is?

Former Member

Take a friend. And obviously, we don't know the reasons but would he be prepared to come here to meet you? If not, why not? And is it fair that you have to go to such extremes to meet him?

Really, take a friend. Preferably someone who speaks the native language. Find out how far away places like hospitals and police stations are - I'm not suggesting that anything sinister is going on here, but expect the worse and be pleasantly surprised when something good happens .

Good luck, make sure that this is really what you want to do :thumb:.

Former Member

Two months? Is that all? I'd wait a bit longer than that, especially if it involved going to a different country...

If you weren't going to wait longer (or even if you do..) i'd deffinately agree with what Wyetry said, don't make meeting him the focus, and don't go alone. Not only is it risky but if it is uncomfortable/goes wrong you will be alone in an unfamiliar country were you don't know anybody but him (I assume..) for the entire length of your stay.

Former Member

thanks heaps for all your suggestions and support everyone!!

I think I was getting a bit carried away in the excitement of meeting him, now i am gonna spend a bit more time thinking it through..

He cant really come to me at the moment as he has some commitments there that he cant get out of but maybe i will see if i say that might the only way he is gonna meet me, and see if that changes anything.

Also like the idea of going to a nearby city and making it a holiday there with the seeing him part being a side-trip - i think if i am going to go, i would do something like that.. sounds safer, and also less pressure if things didnt work out.

thanks again, and i'll let you know what happens (if anything )

Former Member

I'd say... he should either come to you, or you go with a friend.

My first relationship was with someone I met online. He came from England to visit me in Scotland and in a very public place with a lot of people. I also told my parents where I was going, who I was meeting and what I was going to be doing. This is ESSENTIAL no matter how much you think you know him.

It worked too. It was scary, but it was fine after a while. And we ended up in a 9 months long relationship.

Good luck! Enjoy! But be safe!
xox

Former Member

What countries is it?

Former Member

I live in the UK (London) and he lives in Holland (Rotterdam)

Former Member

I've met 2 people online so far.

One of them lived in another country, so I flew out to see them. I am however male.

Stay safe, why can't he visit you?

Failing that, regardless how well you 'think' you know him, might be best to have someone with you - could you and a friend go for a holiday together?

Former Member

ok so i have had no luck in getting someone to come with me - my friends are not really into computers or using the net and stuff and i think they just dont understand it, they say i should just forget it :yuck:
but, I had a chat to him today and i think he understands how i feel about it not being safe and all that... think i will be able to get him to come here instead
anyway, thanks again for all your replies!! and i will let you know how it goes

Former Member

Yeah do it - meet in public place like a cheap hotel and if you like each other you don't have to go far to, you know....2 become 1 and shit:p

Former Member

I met my girlfriend in a chat room, Aim Metallica 23. We talked for a year, developed huge crushes on eachother, and began to fall in love, we met, I've been with her ever since. It's amazing to think that if we had been a few seconds off we would have never met..

Former Member

intrepide wrote:

ok so i have had no luck in getting someone to come with me - my friends are not really into computers or using the net and stuff and i think they just dont understand it, they say i should just forget it :yuck:
but, I had a chat to him today and i think he understands how i feel about it not being safe and all that... think i will be able to get him to come here instead
anyway, thanks again for all your replies!!

Good, I hope it works out that he'll come to you instead.

Just in case he doesn't, I'd suggest you plan a trip to Amsterdam, it totally rocks, it's gorgeous, plenty of sightseeing and lots to do. Like it has been suggested, you could meet him there (get him to do a bit of the work too), and if it doesn't work out you'll still have visited one of the coolest cities in Europe. Plus, you could totally convince a friend to go with you, it's a city that recieves thousands of tourists. So what if your friends aren't into chatting over the internet much- a trip to Amsterdam is still a great holiday!

intrepide wrote:

and i will let you know how it goes

Please do :yes:

Good luck :thumb:

Former Member

bluewisdom wrote:

Good, I hope it works out that he'll come to you instead.

Just in case he doesn't, I'd suggest you plan a trip to Amsterdam, it totally rocks, it's gorgeous, plenty of sightseeing and lots to do. Like it has been suggested, you could meet him there (get him to do a bit of the work too), and if it doesn't work out you'll still have visited one of the coolest cities in Europe. Plus, you could totally convince a friend to go with you, it's a city that recieves thousands of tourists. So what if your friends aren't into chatting over the internet much- a trip to Amsterdam is still a great holiday!

:yes:

To be honest i would have just asked them if they wanted to go on holiday and see if they liked the idea and then mentioned that you wanted to meet someone while you were there. They really have to know he's from the net - as long as they're there so you know you're safe.

Good luck anyway - let us know what happens.

Former Member

How old are you by the way?

Former Member

i am 27, he is 25

and he booked his trip to come here!! yay

next weekend and i have organised a restaurant for dinner then tickets to a show - i thought this would be a good thing to do - lots of people around and something to do so not so much pressure to talk all at first


let you know how it goes!

Former Member

Thats great! Hope you have a nice time..

I'm sure you don't need reminding of all the usual saftey issues like having someone else there when you meet, letting someone know where you're going etc.. but keep them in mind!

Former Member

Good luck and have fun

Former Member

hey, that's great news, hope you have a nice time..

Please let us know how it goes, these kind of stories are encouraging to us singles...:yes:

Former Member

sounds good. let us know how it goes.