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Trying to read the signs!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm currently in halls, and recently have been close and intimate with a guy who lives near me, also in halls. Basically from day one we've been attracted to each other, we've been close - just things like watching movies cuddled up together, always end up snuggled down together, holding hands, but it went no further.

After xmas, we came back off of holidays and it all started again, but we seemed even more attracted, like the duration between seeing each other had sort of, heightened it. Anyway, one night out we had both had a few drinks and went up, started dancing, which led to a kiss...which further led to us sleeping together. In the morning it was a bit strange and slightly uncomfortable. Anyway, he ignored me for a week and I felt a tad used and he seemed really uncomfortable around me.

Recently all the old stuff started up again, but we've been more friendly and open about liking each other, and on Valentines day we all went on a night out and spent the whole night in each others company and such, which again led to us sleeping together but this time in the morning he said he was really keen to continue seeing each other and it all felt really comfortable. On about 2 other night outs, we've been similar - haven't slept together but had the dancing, the kissing and such. In the day he's quieter, still close when we watch tv, movies and such but otherwise a little quieter. When I was on a night out and he was inwith a friend I know vaguely know through him, and with a friend of mine, his friend asked him when me and him were going to get together because when talking privately to his friends he kept on about really liking me. He said he didn't want to talk about so I'm none the wiser there.

Anyway, my basic point is, I'm confused. I mean, I would be happy taking things as they come, but it seems we only have the confidence on a night out to approach one another. His friends approach me more often in conversation, though otherwise they wouldn't speak to me, and if they see someone trying it on with me, they make a point of jokily asking if whether I should be making a point of brushing blokes off if there's something going on with me and their friend.

He isn't the type of guy whose gonna lay his cards out when it comes to how he feels because he's not that type of person, but I don't know how to feel. I'm know I'm developing feelings for him, but then I don't know if he is for me. The indicators are slightly there that he does but I don't know how to approach it with him and its only early stages.

Could anyone recommend what I could do, maybe a bloke shed some light on why at times he's withdrawn and at others such as watching movies or going out, he pushes to be closer. I want to understand his perspective - I don't want to come on too strong if this is nothing to him.

Thank you for any feedback and sorry for the long thread! It's just a confusing and slightly annoying situation as I don't know where I stand and I worry about feeling for him as I don't want to get hurt, or attached the idea of him and me if I'm just going to end up dropped.

Thank you!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A bit hard to say. My guess is that the bloke really likes you but he's shy and a bit frightened. Maybe he needs a little more encouragement from your part to be more open about wanting to be together, maybe he's a little insecure about where you stand in this, but also he'll need time to get comfortable being part of a couple.

    I'm not a bloke but I hope it helps. Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what blue said is very good. it could also be that he has been badly hurt before and acting like this to pervent he for getting too close just incase he gets hurt again.

    Hope it works out, let us knwo how it goes
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From what I've read about this here and on your LiveJournal, I get the idea he's not sure what he wants. That said, I hadn't considered he may well have been badly hurt in a relationship before and is now a bit spooked that he's got feelings for someone. The best thing to do is try to be open with him, try to get him talking, don't force him. If it's meant to be, he'll come out and say something.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welp, all this could have been avoided if you asked him what the dilly-o is. You seem a bright enough girl and all, but cuddles and kisses are great but it's nice to know what's happening.

    You want something to happen rather than just a random shag it's best to get some balls and ask. Yesiree.
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