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Confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi all,

As alot of you know, i split up with my wife over 6months ago after found out she was having an affair. But kind of knew for a while, just with not proof. SO yes i was hurt but not surpised.

Well i've now been seeing someone else for a month this saturday. And was talking to her for a month before we even met up. Well tonight she asked me over to watch a film with her. While there she said that her flat mate want me to come over for dinner on monday (Niccie, me, flatmate, flatmates bf). Apart from telling me that and how her job interview went, she hardly spoke two words to me. Tried to get her to talk (not while film was on, as she said she'd really wanted to see this film) but she didn't seem interested.

We've been getting on really well. but due to work (both hers and mine), evening classess, weekly get togethers with friends, only get to see each other twice a week. We've not had sex or done anything sexual as she asked if we can wait as her ex screwed with her head on that issue. Told her i'm happy to wait till shes ready (and i am, as dont want to rush things).

Not sure what i'm posting for, just confused really and need to get it off my chest.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry about it! she probably just had a stressful day and didnt feel like talking.
    Just try not to read into everything, ive always been like that but i'm starting to get better now! its just one of those things some people do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    We've not had sex or done anything sexual as she asked if we can wait as her ex screwed with her head on that issue.

    Cos of that I would just say be cautious, cos this like she still have issues with ex relationship, which aint good generaly. Unless the reason for the issue is some sort of an abuse.

    I wouldn't say she still have feeling or anything, but just be careful.

    or it could just be P.M.S.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cos of that I would just say be cautious, cos this like she still have issues with ex relationship, which aint good generaly. Unless the reason for the issue is some sort of an abuse.

    I wouldn't say she still have feeling or anything, but just be careful.

    or it could just be P.M.S.
    From what she said he used her just for sex, and she doesn't want to have the same thing happen, which i can understand. He also cheated on her all the time, he didn't care if it was male or female or if she found out. She was the one to end it about 6months ago.

    I'm hoping that she's just had a bad day. she did say she had a headache so guess that could be it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    From what she said he used her just for sex, and she doesn't want to have the same thing happen, which i can understand. He also cheated on her all the time, he didn't care if it was male or female or if she found out. She was the one to end it about 6months ago.

    Oh I see, she has some good reasons then. Seem like he was a huge cunt.
    Youngbull wrote:
    I'm hoping that she's just had a bad day. she did say she had a headache so guess that could be it.

    Well you know, everyone got good and bad days, just see how it goes, at this point I don't think there is much to be worry about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah guess your right, just i like her and want it to work out. After everything with wife i didn't think i'd ever feel this way again. so guess i'm being a little parinod
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just try not to worry about it mate, just take things as they come!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    Yeah guess your right, just i like her and want it to work out. After everything with wife i didn't think i'd ever feel this way again. so guess i'm being a little parinod

    Same here mate. Wife fucked off 7 months ago, thought couldn't love again and here I am. Paranoia will be part of the deal for a while and after you will see that there is no reason for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah cheer mate. its good to know things can work out. well not seeing her for a few days (monday at the latest) but will be talking to her on txt, phone nad msn.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She might still have a few issues she has trouble with now and again. Past relationships can affect us for years, and just because theres still some issues/baggage left over, doesnt mean shes not ready for a new relationship necessarily, just mean you might have to be understanding a bit sometimes. Hopefully she`ll give you the same understanding too when you need it.
    issues can sometimes come up and bite you on the bum when you think youre all over it too. Some exes have a lot to answer for.

    as nmm said, it may just be PMT though, or just her headache. Headaches and feeling ill generally can make me a bit grumpy sometimes too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if she's still wanting to see you/invited you over then don't worry. she was obviously tired/stressed and had a headache. don't worry. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah hoping thats all it is. forgot how stressfull (is that the right word?) dating someone new can be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, and getting to know a new person all over again, when youre used to knowing someone else inside and out. Can be weird getting used to someone news little quirks, idiosyncrasies, the way they react to stuff and cope with things isnt going to be the same as your ex. Sometimes it can be a bit weird, but its part of the fun of it too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    yeah hoping thats all it is. forgot how stressfull (is that the right word?) dating someone new can be.

    What you have to remember tho, is that this one is NOT the old one.
    So do not let the past make you paranoid too much.

    Different people, different situation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah things are completely different with this one. which is a good thing. for starters she likes piercings so i'm free to get them now. as wife didn't like them and wouldn't let me. She also thinks i'm strange as i'm the only guy whos ever said he likes piercing on girls, which shes happy about as she has lots.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    yeah things are completely different with this one. which is a good thing. for starters she likes piercings so i'm free to get them now. as wife didn't like them and wouldn't let me. She also thinks i'm strange as i'm the only guy whos ever said he likes piercing on girls, which shes happy about as she has lots.

    Well seems like she accept you for who you are more than your ex already.
    If one can not accept the other what is the point.
    Concessions are ok in a couple, but you still have to accept the other to one extend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Concessions are ok in a couple, but you still have to accept the other to one extend.
    yup :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well thats just confirmed it for me. Just spent the evening over hers after her house mate invited me over for dinner. Hardly spoke to me again. Felt uncomfortable all evening, so left early (ok i was bloodly tired anyway). Ask when i'd see her again, "not sure, as haven't got any money", get home for the txt to come in. "I've been doing some thinking, your a really nice guy, but theres no spark on my end, and i dont see it going anywhere. Don't think we should see each other anymore".

    So it looks like i'm single again. Well i'm going to pour myself a large glass of Vodka.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Youngbull wrote:
    Well thats just confirmed it for me. Just spent the evening over hers after her house mate invited me over for dinner. Hardly spoke to me again. Felt uncomfortable all evening, so left early (ok i was bloodly tired anyway). Ask when i'd see her again, "not sure, as haven't got any money", get home for the txt to come in. "I've been doing some thinking, your a really nice guy, but theres no spark on my end, and i dont see it going anywhere. Don't think we should see each other anymore".

    So it looks like i'm single again. Well i'm going to pour myself a large glass of Vodka.
    :( Sorry to hear that. But you seem like a really nice guy so I'm sure it won't be for too long.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    :( Sorry to hear that. But you seem like a really nice guy so I'm sure it won't be for too long.
    Thanks. Just kind of upset about it all but guess thats life. if it was meant to be it would have been. Just feel bit shit like everyone does when they've been dumped.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry, you really do sound like a great guy, I'm sure you will find someone soon.
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