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Male / Female Friendship

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    thats very true actually. my male friends are really protective of me and i know i won't come to any harm when i'm out with them.
    so at least in that way, youre not treated as one of the lads?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah definitley, although I've slept with some of my female friends in the past. It can be awkward but sometimes it makes you closer because you both realise that while you care for each other a lot sex isn't want you want. And after you've gone that far together you're going to be pretty close.

    One of the most awkward situations ever is waking up in the morning after a drunken heart to heart went a bit further than it should have and wondering if everythings going to be ok!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rainbow brite wrote:
    so at least in that way, youre not treated as one of the lads?
    i don't think i'm treated as one of the lads at all. i'm quite girly so i wouldn't want to be anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rainbow brite wrote:
    so at least in that way, youre not treated as one of the lads?

    What's wrong with that :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well nothing really wrong with it as such, but im saying that there can be quite a difference between same sex friendships and platonic friendships.
    For me, it feels weird if someone would treat me differently because im a girl, its not like a girl/girl friendship where were on an equal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Randomgirl wrote:
    I've got more female friends than male friends but my two closest friends are male. Of those one of them is ugly and the other one is gay.

    I think this drills down to the essence of platonic friendships! ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not that hard to have close female friends, ive got just as many female as male friends i just treat them like my male friends. I dont find myself sexually attracted to them. Its kinda wierd, i cant imagine being attracted to one of my female friends :chin: :nervous:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    Do any of you got true male / female friendship or do you find it hard to have a true friendship with the opposite sex without having attraction being present or affecting the relationship?

    Yeh totally, just i find i don't have much in common with girls so i dont really have many girl mates. But i dont really have to worry about being attracted to them as there are hardly any good looking ones in my year.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well... most of my best friends are male. And there's never been any attraction between us whatsoever. When I left for uni, it was only the guy friends who kept in touch. Even though the girls all cried and said how much they'd miss me and such like and the guys acted like they didn't care. When I moved schools in my early teens in was the exact same thing.
    So yeah, some of my best friendships have lasted years and were with the opposite sex.

    However, it doesn't mean you can't become attracted to these people. It's just in my experience, it never has happened.
    X
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh yeah, and as for the 'treated as one of the lads thing'...

    It's like that with me with one group of guys, and not what the other. Just depends on how your friendship is and what the guys are like.

    As with the first group...they talk openly about very 'guyish' topics that I know they didn't talk to the other girls about. And they sometimes take a moment to register when I talk about something that only girls would have a 'knowledge' of. Heheh.

    It's all good though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find it easier to talk to guys than girls andmost my mates are men.

    Saying a guy and a girl can't be mates is like saying a straight woman and a lesbian, or a hetero man and a queer man can't be friends.

    I don't think about sex at all when talking to my male friends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -[MoonRat]- wrote:

    Saying a guy and a girl can't be mates is like saying a straight woman and a lesbian, or a hetero man and a queer man can't be friends.

    Don't forget the bi-sexuals, seems they can't have any friends!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    beans wrote:
    Don't forget the bi-sexuals, seems they can't have any friends!
    yeah, you cant trust them as far as you can throw them. Nobodys safe - bums to the walls and all that ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -[MoonRat]- wrote:
    I find it easier to talk to guys than girls andmost my mates are men.

    Me too, I do have a lot of female friends, but in general I'm the most honest with my male friends, don't know why really, it's just a lot easier to talk to them about anything and everything. I've also found that there's a lot less crap with male friends - all of my male friends just tell it like it is, I know if there's an issue and we sort it out, unlike a lot of my female friends :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find it hard, talking from experience!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah I think its pretty tricky.

    I mean I have had female friends, and ones that I have spent time with , like I saw most days and talked tom there usually came a point where I did fall for them a bit.

    I remember one partiuclar time in 6th form, I became close friends with this one girl and everyone said I fancied her and I honestly didn't at all, and at one point we had a major falling out, not even speakin gfor ages, but we becaem friends again and then for one week I fell for her. I feel for her but then relaised nothing would ever happen and I got over it. I haven't seen her in a good while. Moving away to uni we just didn't stay in contact much.

    It is a shame coz I love talking to girls and getting a female perspective on things and having a lugh with them, but there is always a chance I could fall for them and that does concern me sometimes.

    I mean there has been girls I can say they wer emy friends and I never fell fo rhem, bu tthey weren't close friends.

    Saying that though, one of my mates has a gf who he's been with for years and through nights out and stuff like that I have become a friend of his gf but I don't fancy her and never will. I mean I think she is attractive and a great girl but I haven't fallen for her.

    It depends on the people involved I guess.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my best friend is male, and we have been best friends for nearly four years. Even when we are drunk there is no physical attraction. I would not mind if therre was because he is an amazing, hansom stylish guy, and definitely marriage material, but we just dont fancy each other.

    ANd he is not gay. He has a girl friend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talia wrote:
    Well my best friend is male, and we have been best friends for nearly four years. Even when we are drunk there is no physical attraction. I would not mind if therre was because he is an amazing, hansom stylish guy, and definitely marriage material, but we just dont fancy each other.

    ANd he is not gay. He has a girl friend.


    lucky him


    he has everything it seems.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    is it possible to achieve a true friendship with the opposite sex?
    I really don't know. If it's possible for the man and the woman to suppress anything else, like any sexual attraction, or any longing for more than friendship, it just might be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have two very good male friends.

    one i would jump on given a moments notice if i thaught he would recipricate it. The other is my best mate and although i love him so much its just as a friend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    one of my best mates here at uni is my male flatmate :) sometimes it can be a bit flirty.. but there is no way that me and him will ever get together!! just not that kind of relationship!!

    before him though i wasnt really 'proper' friends with any boys.. since coming to uni i have quite a few.. probably because im the only girl in my flat :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    beans wrote:
    Don't forget the bi-sexuals, seems they can't have any friends!
    Yeah I hate bisexuals...

    Filthy creatures!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sure! For about 10 years my best friend was a male. Nothing more than friends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my two closest friends is male, an we've never been anything more than just good friends, i love him to bits though and i'd be so lost without him, so yeah it is possible.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is possible, but men, the nature of the beast, we fancy girls and if you are attractive, nice, we ca ntalk to you and want to be around you then we do fancy you a bit.

    Just coz we dont't leap on you doesn't mean we don't. Probably just think you can't get anywhere , or you ahve ur eye on some1 else.

    there is nearly always some sort of attraction there, even if it is small.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course its possible to have a friendship with the opposite sex. Ive gown up with twin younger brothers who are only 18 months younger. Now most of my close friends are actually male. I just treat them like brothers and be myself. Sometimes I find them a bit difficult to understand but then theres the reverse when Im a complete mystery to them. Good thing is that we discuss my taste of boyfriend and their taste of girlfriend and we get on fine. Theres sometimes a bit of jealousy from their girlfriends if they dont know me so I talk to them. My boyfriend found it a bit weird at first but accepts that I dont like my male friends that way and its fine. Ive only ever been attracted to one of my male friends and after that didnt work out, we are still great friends. Maybe thats just weird but threat the other sex like a sibling and dont be tempted to dwell on their attractiveness (or lack of) and you can get on great.
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