what to do? - ive no clue...

Former Member

Hi,

Ive been with my gf for a year and a half now but all we've done for the past couple of months is argue. I'm not happy, i'll admit it. But ive no idea where to go from here.
I do love her and i know she loves me and wants to be with me. But ive just had enough and i dont think things are going to get any better.
Theres hardly any trust between us which is what causes the arguements mostly.
Shes a gorgeous girl, cares a lot for me and is a really sweet person so why so am i so unhappy?
I dont want to break her heart and it would kill me to see her with someone else so i really dont know what to do, end it soon and take all the heartache that comes with it (mine and hers) or hang in there and hope things get good again. i mean they were great at the start and we were never out of each others sight, now though we spend more time apart and this is where a lot of the mistrust comes into play.

I just really dont know what to do, help!

Former Member

Oh Icey, it tricky as you say, do you end it and suffer heartache ordo you hang on in there and hope it gets better. Do you spend more time apart then together or has the amount of time you spend together just decreased (compard to the amount of time you spent together when it was good).

The first think I would say is try talking to her about how you feel this may be hard and painful for you both but it really is a good idea as it lets you both air your views on how your realtionship is and where it is going.

Former Member

We've spoke at length and it always ends up with us staying together but then a week or two later we're back in the same place so we're just going round in circles.
We dont see each other as much as we used to but thats down to me saying i want space for the past few days. (normally we would spend nearly every day together)

Former Member

God I'm going thru just the same. I figure its just a bad patch though and will hopefully pass because the arguements are just stupid ones blown out of proportion. Hope it gets better for you darlin x

Former Member

icey wrote:

ive just had enough and i dont think things are going to get any better.
Theres hardly any trust between us which is what causes the arguements mostly.
Shes a gorgeous girl, cares a lot for me and is a really sweet person so why so am i so unhappy?

you don't have to hate someone's guts for ending it with them to be the best thing. sometimes you can really love someone, but just not be able to be with them and be happy. so don't get trapped into a relationship that is dragging you both down just because you still really like her. i have seen couples that adore each other, but just can't be together without being miserable. it's a hard choice.


on the flip side, it might be that you are right together, and have just got into a spiral of arguments. i think the only way to get around something like this is to talk. what does she want to do? what do you want to do? how can you sort it all out? the trust issue is really, really tricky, but it can be worked on if you are both open enough. you just both need to put your all into sorting it out.

Former Member

Either you can talk about it like adults, or toss in the towel. The first choice may end in the second anyway.

What are you arguing about? Why are you arguing? What are the reasons why you don't trust each other?

Things can always be fixed, or the potential is always there anyway. Get through the things that are souring the relationship. Either it'll work or it won't. But I certainly don't think you've addressed the real issues yet. IT takes a lot of guts to be that open.

Is she worth it?

Former Member

Why isn't there any trust between you? You're going to have to work that out if you want things to work.

Former Member

We have had a very long and meaningful conversation about what we both want and we are going to stay together.
We think the arguments have been caused by a combination of her being bitchy on acount of all the hormones(when its that time of the month and she has been taking these hormone tablets prescibed by the docs) which has made her quite nasty sometimes and me because i have a short temper and snap at things pretty easy so when she makes a bitchy comment i am likely to just react and say something nasty or start an argument which just escalates all the time.
Hopefully this will stop though as she is going to stop taking the tablets and i am going to try and think before i act. Cheers for the replies though!