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can ladz tell??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hiya, recently i lied 2 a lad about my virginity and told him i lost it ages ago, im scared now, that wen i do sleep with him, he wil be able to tell im a virgin, will he? please help i feel so stupid

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Hunni:
    <STRONG>hiya, recently i lied 2 a lad about my virginity and told him i lost it ages ago, im scared now, that wen i do sleep with him, he wil be able to tell im a virgin, will he? please help i feel so stupid</STRONG>

    Also posted by Hunni:
    <STRONG>me and my bf have been 2gether 4 about 4 months now, and ive been hiding a mass secret from him, i have a 3 year old daughter. i dont now how or when to tell him, amd im scared that when i do he'l finish wit me!! i think he wil because hes only 19 and wont want a kid draggin him down (im 16) </STRONG>

    Am I missing something?

    [ 23-04-2002: Message edited by: DJP ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could always tell him the truth.

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tip - don't use your sister's username, it'll just confuse everyone and distract from the question in point <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Your dilemma crops up millions of times here and it seems so uneccessary. Why did you feel the need to lie in the first place? Being a virgin isn't shameful, and he really shouldn't think badly of you because of it. How old are you? I was 19 when I lost mine and my boyfriend was 22, athough this was a touch on the late side, I didn't spend the years beforehand pretending I was some sex godess, and he certainly wasn't put off because I was inexperienced. It really shouldn't be an issue. Everyone has a first time.

    No, your boyfriend won't be able to tell if you don't tell him yourself, but I really think you should put the record straight if he means anything to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah thats a fair point! How can u have a baby but b a virgin? Just b honest with him- or if it hurts and he notices just tell him its coz u r nervous bout doin it with him coz u like him so much or sumthing shitty like that. x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so which post was you lying about??? cant hurt less than giving birth <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    [ 23-04-2002: Message edited by: deeby doo ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i aint lied about neitha, the post about the baby is my sister, we both use this, il sey wetha its me the 14 yr old or my sister the 16 yr old, sorry shud ave said
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your b/f shudn't b able 2 tell if u r a virgin or not. i agree with "bullet with butterfly wings" u shud b honest with him!
    keep us posted! it'll b fine! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you 14 you really shouldnt be sleeping with him, i really would advise you to wait <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    you dont want to end up with a kid like your sister do you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by deeby doo:
    <STRONG>if you 14 you really shouldnt be sleeping with him, i really would advise you to wait <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
    you dont want to end up with a kid like your sister do you?</STRONG>

    You're telling this a girl whose sister had a baby at 13.

    And no, we can't really tell, but why the hell did you lie to him? Jesus.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no they cant tell i think that they spend most of the time trying to c if ur enjoying ur self listering to u moan and shit <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by star_****:
    <STRONG>no they cant tell i think that they spend most of the time trying to c if ur enjoying ur self listering to u moan and shit <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"></STRONG>

    yes, but the blood from the hymen is usually a give away.
    Plus when the girl winces in pain....kind of makes the lad wonder slightly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On this subject without setting up a new topic how can you tell a girl is a virgin can you send me a private message with some answers thanks i would be very greatfull <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> you know how do you actually tell what is it like and all what should it feellike ??? <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i lied to my boyfriend at the time and when we slept together he could tell because of the blood and the fact it was so painful, so it depends, he wasn't to bothered, he was ok about itwhen i told him i had lied. don't let him find out the hard way. just be honset with him i only lied because he was experienced and i wasn't just tell him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you bleed it could be a tell tale sign that you're still a virgin, and also if you're completely not sure what to do...another tell tale sign... x x x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as a bloke i would rather know if my g/f was a virgin or not because i would like her be honest to me. If you are not honest he might think you are lying about other stuff!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But i told my ex i was still a virgin and he thought it was funny and told all his mates...so really, you cant win, either way! x x x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    with you only being 14 i really don't think he'll be too suprised that your a virgin so i doubt it'll bother him. just get it off your chest and tell him the truth. at least then it'll make it a whole lot easier for you to talk about other stuff such as if it hurts you or asking him what to do instead of making a fool of yourself <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by foxi_8itch:
    <STRONG>But i told my ex i was still a virgin and he thought it was funny and told all his mates...so really, you cant win, either way! x x x</STRONG>

    Any guy that laughs at you for being a virgin is not worth the air that he breathes. If you're going to insist on losing your virginity at the age of 14 (and I'm not judging you) then for a start make sure you are certain about it. Secondly, you should really be honest with him - if you feel close enough to sleep with him then you should really feel close enough to him to actually tell him the truth.

    In answer to your question though, guys tend not to notice as they're generally worried about their own performance and stuff. The breaking of your hymen could be a giveaway though, as could any wincing sound if it hurts (which as far as I remember it bloody well did). By letting him know beforehand that you're inexperienced then he'll most likely be more gentle with you making it on the whole a more pleasurable experience.

    Good luck. xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh god what shud i do!! this lad e int my bf! in fact i ardly no im i just fancy im oadz n e sed he'd shag me n el fink im a rite bitch if i sey im a virgin now!! help!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Hunni:
    <STRONG>oh god what shud i do!! this lad e int my bf! in fact i ardly no im i just fancy im oadz n e sed he'd shag me n el fink im a rite bitch if i sey im a virgin now!! help!!</STRONG>

    I'm not trying to be funny or take the mick, but i only understand half of that, anyway you can say it again for me?

    i know i'm slow in the head!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh my god!

    I'm not supposed to judge, but Jesus! are you trying to get a reputation as easy? A guy who isn't your boyfriend and you don't really know said he'd sleep with you, and you WANT TO? Are you MAD?

    [/rant]

    Don't know about telling if you're still a virgin.

    Am I old fashioned, or is this CRAZY???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i really dont think you should do it. i think that youll prob regret it later. you should wait until you're with someone special to lose your virginity with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hunni ... I'm not too sure what to say to you. Why on earth are you considering shagging this bloke? There's one thing fancying someone, but shagging him when you don't know him is just a no-no. Do you really want to lose your virginity in such a sordid way?

    If you want some more thorough advice then please give us a bit more information ... how old you both are? how you know each other? etc etc .... and also please please please can you write it in English!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i do know him a bit, but not as much as id like 2 but i can sort that out, im 14 he is 16, plz help! i stil dont know what 2 do!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what the hell are you doing, it is crazy, don't do it it really isn't worth it at all, don't do it your firt time should be special and with someone you love not just someone you fancy. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if it was me i would be thrilled that you were a virgin. i think there is nothing better. My guess is that if you tell him he wont even care that you lied. tell him so he knows.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Hunni:
    <STRONG>oh god what shud i do!! this lad e int my bf! in fact i ardly no im i just fancy im oadz n e sed he'd shag me n el fink im a rite bitch if i sey im a virgin now!! help!!</STRONG>

    you should save your flower for someone you really care about. give it to someone that will appreaciate it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "e'll fink I'm a rite bitch" (forgot to use the quote thing, sorry if it isn't letter for letter <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> )

    if he'd think that, is he worth sleeping with? the blatantly obvious answer is no. I'm sorry to say this, but losing your virginity is not a status symbol, it's not something that will make you wonderful and attractive to every guy on the planet, and it's not worth even considering "losing" it to someone who doesn't much care about you.

    at the same time, it's not a huge spiritual thing either!

    sex at 14 is, in my opinion, too early. you might think you're ready for it, but trust me - when you get older you'll kick yourself. I'm not that old, I'm only 16, and it took me nearly a year to feel comfortable enough with my bf to go for it. sometimes I think I should have waited longer. I think it was Man of Kent (who's not on the boards any longer, I don't think) who put forward the best theory to date: sex is viewed as adult, and these days us teenagers want to be as adult as possible, hence we have sex younger and younger. sure, there's nothing wrong with the sex act itself - but with the issues surrounding it in society it's something you have to be damn sure about before you do it.

    which is all a long-winded way of saying, if you're not happy, don't do it.
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