Why Can't He Forgive Me?

Former Member

A couple of days ago, I got a very angry text from my boyfriend. We're in a long distance relationship, and I received this text the day after he left from a great week we had had together.
Anyway, he had looked at my Myspace, which happened to have a comment from someone random who said I was good at online sex acts (whatever that means). My profile also said that I was single. I explained to my boyfriend that I didn't know this guy and I pointed out that my profile also says that I'm 0 height - I just haven't got round to configuring this part yet. His reply was: Do what the fuck you want and be who the fuck you want.
So I try to calm him down, to which he says: You are fucking stupid. Bye.
I tried calling and calling, but he kept cutting the calls short. Apparently, he didn't want to talk to me.
Obviously I was really upset, so I said I was sorry, which I am. But I said that it was stupid for us to dwell on something so silly. To which he called me fucking patronising. But, can I point out, that whenever he genuinely hurts me and says that it's silly, I agree and get on with out relationship.

Eventually, I got fed up. I told him that I haven't done anything so wrong that deserves being treated like this. So he told me to leave him alone (what does this mean?!) and talk to him when I knew what I had done. Then he said: I can't believe you...

And that's the last I've heard of him since over a day ago. I've tried calling, and making it up to him. I've sent him texts telling him that I'm sorry. I've sent him texts telling him I love him. But no reply...

What can I do to make things better? I've tried everything. Why won't he forgive me? Is there something here that I'm missing?

Help... This is making me so depressed... And I can't deal with that...

Former Member

Fucking hell.

I'd leave him be! What an immature prat, if you were in a LDR he would appreciate that you don't have a constructive and mature discussion about shit without him hearing your side first. It wouldn't involve stupid childish text messages. It would involve a phone call at least. What a bloody pie.

His attitude when a teeny tiny bump comes along sums it up that he doesn't deserve you. You've done NOTHING wrong. You've justified the reasons it has happened, but he's too wrapped up in being hurt and stupid to see what's at the end of his nose. He reminds me of my stupid mates when they have a drunken barney with their blokes, but he's - from what I can tell - is sober?! And this is his attitude?

Leave him be. You can do better. He's too uptight.

Former Member

Agree. Let him stew.

Former Member

Well maybe if you have been saying sorry then it has implied you have done something to be sorry about? Also if he hasn't told you what is wrong how do you know its off your MySpace.

Former Member

Why did that person say you were good at online sex acts?

Former Member

It sounds to me like he has totally jumped the gun and become very jelous, and he's feeling angry about it, and yeah it might seem silly to you but maybe he doesnt see it that way. I dont think you should have apologized though, since you had nothing to say sorry about, in doing so he might think you are guilty of something.

The way he has reacted does seem a bit much though.

Former Member

I don't actually know the guy who said I was good at online sex acts. It's a stupid joke that we had across the net. The guy who wrote it also says that he was drunk when he did it and had forgotten about it.

And I guess, yeah, maybe apologising made it look like I have something to apologise for but he told me to leave him alone until I could figure it out by myself (not the first time he has done this).

The only thing he seemed pissed at was the Myspace thing. I've racked by my brains for days now and still I can't think of what I could have done wrong. I just don't understand.

He didn't call or text to say Happy New Year either...
That really hurts.

Former Member

Sounds like a massive overreaction to me. There's not a whole lot you can do about it. Either wait for him to realise how stupid he's been and for him to apologise, or just try to move on.

Former Member

Dump him. He's even giving me headache. Seriously, he doesn't seem worth the effort, giving you grief about an online profile. Don't apologise, and send him a text saying, "happy belated new years, resolution: find boyfriend with more than two brain cells to rub together".

Arse! :rolleyes:

Former Member

*sigh* So many people say I should dump him...and it makes so much more sense... But it would kill me if I did... I love him far too much.

The waiting hurts though... I'm trying so hard to be patient.

Former Member

sometimes guys act like that when they want you to dump them.

Former Member

how bloody old is he?

seriously he sounds about 5.

Former Member

obviously he's got the wrong end of the stick and thinks you're fuckin around online ? even though you didn't even do anything, people posting things like that kind of suggests it

not that he's in the right or anything, but i can see where he could be coming from though

Former Member

z01 wrote:

obviously he's got the wrong end of the stick and thinks you're fuckin around online ? even though you didn't even do anything, people posting things like that kind of suggests it

not that he's in the right or anything, but i can see where he could be coming from though

I can see where he's coming from... but I've explained the situation to him and he only reacted with insults. I even apologised (just so that we could clear this up) and still he reacted at first with insults, and then with silence.

Also, he's 19.

Fuck, I hate this. And myself.

Former Member

Well you admit yourself dumping him would be easier but for some reason you don't seem to want to listen to the majority vote here. It does seem like he wants out.

Former Member

maybe he doesnt believe you ?

maybe he does want to dump you, maybe its the complete opposite - only thing you can do is ask him straight though ?

Former Member

I guess... Maybe he doesn't believe me...

But I've apologised, asked nicely, begged, looked to him for help for the way I've been feeling, been affectionate, told him that I love him, wished him a happy new year, talked about seeing him soon, thanked him for the past year.

I'm just gonna have to ask whether or not he believes me, I guess.

Former Member

If you don't stick up for yourself then he won't respect you. You've posted before about him not contacting you or cancelling to see you and also about your family not wanting him around. Why are you doing this to yourself?

You're doing everything BUT telling him to fuck off and grow up before he contacts you again. STOP apologizing, STOP begging, STOP waiting until he takes you back. It should be the other way around at this point.

Former Member

He sounds pathetic especially when you've explained and he's insulted you.

Former Member

Stand up for yourself, woman. Tell your bf he's being a jerk, and that he should grow the heck up. Yes, you were misguided, but not hugely, and you shouldn't be grovelling to anyone in any relationship.

Your bf sounds like a silly little boy, from what you've posted on here, and I think the best thing for you to do is to stop pandering to him, and start telling him to act like a man.

Former Member

Ummm, from your description of his behaviour it sounds like he's already pulled the lever marked 'dump'.

IWishIWas wrote:

*sigh* So many people say I should dump him...and it makes so much more sense... But it would kill me if I did... I love him far too much.

Former Member

MySpace is fucking evil.

But on a serious note...
If the guy is gonna throw away a relationship cuz of something he read on the internet then hes a fucking moron...

Former Member

AlmightyBob wrote:

If the guy is gonna throw away a relationship cuz of something he read on the internet then hes a fucking moron...

But this is a boyfriend who won't visit her, and won't speak to her on the phone half the time.

I think he's made his mind up that the relationship is over, but he's too chicken-shit to just dump his girlfriend. I'm sorry to say it hon, but I think he's trying to make you dump him, to save him the guilt and the hassle of it.

I've said before that I get the impression you don't love him, you would just die at the thought of not having someone. YOu shouldn't be with someone simply because you perceive being single as worse, and you certainly shouldn't be with someone who treats you like this. You hardly have him anyway, if he keeps acting like this. You are worth more than to be yelled at, ignored and abused. Being single is preferable to this. He sounds like he's 12.

I also know you'll keep hanging on to his bootlaces, and keep begging for forgiveness, for as long as it takes for you to realise that your life isn't a failure if you don't have a boyfriend.

Former Member

I just want to scream.

Honestly, if he was here now, I'd have slapped him by now...

I just want to do this :banghead:

It's not as if we can even talk about it if he won't keep in touch. It takes 2 to have a conversation.

Anyway... I am in love with the idea of being in love, I'll admit that. But up until recently (when he was lacking in the keeping-in-touch part) he was everything I ever dreamed of.

I think it's time I got nasty... :mad:

Former Member

I can't do this. I really can't. Every time I think I can, I can't!

Former Member

Don't get nasty, but if he won't talk to you then you don't have a relationship. Simple as.

Former Member

I guess that makes sense...

If I could actually talk to him this would be so much easier!

ARGH!

Former Member

Not talking is a common way in which cowardly little boys try to dump their girlfriends, I'm sorry to say.

If you can't get an answer out of him then I think your relationship is over. I'm sorry to sound like that, but if you aren't talking to your partner then what exactly do you have?

Former Member

You're always right... but I hate it that you are...

Former Member

I am sorry you had to go through this, especially around New Years. But I wouldn't date or be with a guy who kept saying the F word during a conversation. you dont deserve that. He is being a very immature jerk that needs to get off his balls and get a life. Sad that he wasn't listening to you well enough. I think its best you ignore him , stop calling him. I know you cannot stop thinking about him, but in time you will. And you'll laugh at yourself for wanting to be with a guy like that. Deserve more ,sweety. If you need help with myspace,let me know, to bad we cant put, Dont date Losers as our status heh, but yay. it'll hurt but overtime, you'll get better and find a better man. no mans worth the pain. alot of guys r just plain D*CkS!

Former Member

If I were you, I would just send him one last text message basically saying I've explained what happened, I'm sorry if what you saw upset you but it is up to you whether you choose to believe the truth, as far as I can see you have no reason not to believe what I've told you. Clearly you don't want to talk to me at the moment so I am leaving it in your hands to contact me if and when you want to as I don't want to feel like I'm constantly harassing you. I still love you and want to be with you, but the decision is yours.

And just leave it like that. That way, he isn't getting even more pissed off with your constant calling/texting, it might give him an opportunity to calm down and actually think about what has happened. You've let him know where you stand on the issue and now it is up to him to decide what he wants. At least this way you don't have to keep worrying about it as it is totally in his hands if he wants to contact you.