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My best mate is a slut.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
When I first met my friend she was like the perfect mate, we used to do best mate stuff. But it's been a few years now, and her whole life involves lads. She talks to lads on the internet, and meets up with them only after a few days, or weeks. She has also become a bit of a 'slut' because she sleeps with guys she barely knows. And she met up with a guy the other day and they did stuff together and she didn't even know him. I went out with a guy, and on the same night, she hooked up with his best mate and he fingered her and she wanked him.. in barely 2 hours of them knowing each other. Me and her are the complete opposites, she gets drunk every weekend, she smokes. We have different circles of friends. We've drifted apart and she's been a bitch lately. Should I ditch her or what? We only see each other in school these days, we have nothing in common anymore and all she wants to do is meet lads, where as I just want to chill out with my mates. Advice please.
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If you don't have the same interests, if you don't enjoy partaking in the same things then don't hang out as much. Maybe try and do something she likes one night, do something you like another. If your intent on keeping the friendship there needs to be comprimise, especially when one or both of you are changing.
Does she gamble, too?
If you've drifted apart anyway, why is there any need to 'ditch' someone?
Just because you were mates before doesn't mean you'll be mates forever, she's choosen what she wants to do and you dont like it. Move on.
You need to have a sit down with her and just explain to her the dangers of what she is doing. Some thing could be happening to her at home and doing all this stuff is a coping mechanism. My old mate was getting beaten by her dad (tho not in a way that left any mark we could see with her clothes on)
If she insists on meeting up with these internet guys still be there for her, but in different ways, make sure you have his name and the adress of where they are meetin just incase she meets a dodgy guy.
I'm no longer firends with the girl I tried to help, but thats because she got in a mood one day and get me beaten up. Tis what happens when 15years old have a bottle of vodka with breakfast.
I can see where you're coming from in that when I was sixteen that happened with a mate of mine. We used to be very close but naturally fell apart... Friendship is like that.
By the way by hanging around with somebody who behaves like that, you're risking people giving you the same label.
We know what each other is like so our friendship works well.
Just have a chat with her, and remember it takes allsorts and everybody is different!
As for a friend calling her slut. Surely friendship has nothing to do with it. If she fits the definition, regardless of whether you agree with her actions or not, it would make her one. It just depends on your definition.
So you refuse to form relationships with people purely because they drink, smoke and have sex in case people presume you're likewise?
That's really sad.
I think a lot of it has to do with people trying to hang on to the innocence of childhood and pushing everything associated with adulthood away from them.
Learn that in your last psychology lecture yea? :razz:
When you're young, people assume things about you even to when you grow older. If you're standing on a street corner with your chav mates and they're drinking cider people are going to assume you are taking part too. It's a fact of life, most people make assumptions. It is the same with the way you dress, your accent, your manners and so on...
It's common sense, no need to attack me for it.
I think its good she has concerns for her "friend" but it sounds like you guys aint much friends anymore anyway.
Maybe tell her you think shes being a bit too....full on, but dont expect her to go "oh ok, ill stop being a 'ho" cuz people tend to not like being told they're acting like a whore.
I've always been of the opinion that if someone's a decent person who you get on with, that's the only basis you need for friendship. Regardless of their social habits.
If someone assumes something about you from your social circle...then they obviously don't know you...and if they don't know you, why care?
No man, psychology requires too much work and I haven't been to a lecture for 2 years...
Philosophy all the way :cool:
But people do make judgements and sometimes those judgements do matter, like when you're in school... Being a teenager you have so much on your plate as well as trying to fit in.
People make mistakes, we need to find our own way in life. True friends are the ones that are there for them when they realise they have made mistakes. Without judgement. If you don't think you can do that, then no you shouldn't be her friend.
If you dont like or approve of her behaviour and its bothering you a lot, then you really are under no obligation to be friends with her - same for anyone really. I dont really know what id do tbh. i probably wouldnt be so openly judgemental, especially bearing in mind what Zella quite rightly pointed out, you dont know whats happening/happened to her at home. People dont usually behave like that for no reason. Ive got no issue with people beng promiscuous if theyre careful but it just seems so sadly young to be sleeping around.