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Loved up but confused!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm seeing a guy that I've known since we were 15/16 (I'm 18, he's just turned 19) and we had fancied each other for such a long time but we lost contact after GCSE's for a year or so and after that we seldom talked until about 4 months ago when we both started uni (we both stayed in London). We rarely spoke on MSN/phone but when we did he would say things like 'looking back, I wish we could've got together'.. which ripped me up as I regretted the fact that nothing happened and I don't want to make that mistake again :grump: . Now we see each other on average a couple of times a week and lately, during the xmas period, I've seen him nearly everyday. He was a bit apprehensive about making a decision to be with me or not although he insisted that he really did like me but wanted to see 'how things go'. We haven't spoken about our friendship/relationship since then which was 4 months ago. Since then he's beginning to do things which indicate he does want a relationship such as holds my hand in public, lets me stay the night in the same bed as him, gazes into my eyes for longer than normal, calls me by pet names, introduces me to more of his friends and invites me out with them, teases me a lot about silly things and generally feels really comfortable with me which makes me feel so happy 
It's not unusual for us to be lying in bed at 5am watching comedies and laughing ourselves silly whether sober/drunk/stoned and it's also not unusual to be lying there talking about his dad being in prison (major scale fraud.. ooo-er) and what we want to do/be/have in the future. He's like my best friend but the sexual-romantic chemistry is too strong to be platonic but at the same time he's not my boyfriend. I am wondering whether to leave the relationship to progress on its own like it has done so far or to bring up the subject with him as to whether we are 'officially' a couple or not. I feel that if I do bring up the relationship discussion with him, it would spoil it and put pressure on him.. what do you think?
Let things develop and go with the flow or ask him?
It's not unusual for us to be lying in bed at 5am watching comedies and laughing ourselves silly whether sober/drunk/stoned and it's also not unusual to be lying there talking about his dad being in prison (major scale fraud.. ooo-er) and what we want to do/be/have in the future. He's like my best friend but the sexual-romantic chemistry is too strong to be platonic but at the same time he's not my boyfriend. I am wondering whether to leave the relationship to progress on its own like it has done so far or to bring up the subject with him as to whether we are 'officially' a couple or not. I feel that if I do bring up the relationship discussion with him, it would spoil it and put pressure on him.. what do you think?Let things develop and go with the flow or ask him?
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Yep. I'm not sure whether he is still with her because his friends/brother would've said something to her when they see me with him and he seems to spend all his free time out with his mates, with his family, at uni, working on his designs or with me. He doesn't seem to display any signs of having a girlfriend as he showed me his text messages once as they were supposed to be funny and not one of them was from a girl except the ones I sent him. There's a possibility he might still be with her but it looks very doubtful to me which is why I was a bit surprised when he started acting like we were a couple. Again I don't know whether to ask him if he's still with her/if we're a couple because I would think it would 'ruin' things in a way. Maaaan.
is your relationship with him a sexual/romantic one?
Well the idea of asking him doesn't even come into my head when I'm talking to him and I forget all about it, it's only when I'm not with him that I wonder about these things. Yeah it is a sexual/romantic relationship but I have not had sex with him so I know he wont be using me for that.