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Crappy Classmates...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok so I'm in my second year. I missed a lot of the first year due to illness and although I knew people on my course I missed out on a lot of the drama and in house fighting that went on.
Anyway, so I'm back at university this year and I'm making an effort but after a few social outings I realise that my classmates erm, don't appear to like me much. I usually would consider myself to be paranoid but I actually heard them talking about me after they lied to me about what they were doing after class ("Oh we're not going to the bar we're going to go to the library, no nothing's going on tonight").
They were actually saying that they don't like me because I don't make the effort to be liked, that I expect people to take me as I am (I mean that's effing stupid). I've never been particularly popular but this has really annoyed me. It's made me not want to go to university, I've tried making friends with other people but by now everybody has got very cliquey and it's hard trying to fit in anywhere if you understand the logic.
I have great friends outside of university that I met at work and various other places and I have a wonderful boyfriend, but I feel really...stupid. Like I've come to university and through no fault of my own I've been ex-communicated. Whenever I try and make an effort people snub me or just take the mick. One night I went out with these guys I stayed at one of their houses, in the night I was sharing a room (Not a bed a ROOM) with this guy and he tried it on with me. Climbed in my bed and tried to kiss me etc and I ended up scratching him and punching him to make him go away and slept in the hall. I didn't hit on him, he knows I have a boyfriend and has met him. I didn't tell anybody but everybody was talking about it the next week making it sound like I'd been some sort of brazen hussy.
I really don't know what to do, because I enjoy my course but this whole social side of things has just put a real downer on things. Any ideas of how to make these people ...well be nice to me. There's no point in telling me to put my head down and just get on with my work because what sort of life is that? I mean I'll do the work yeah but...all work and no play makes StarCrossed tres miserable and could cause a lapse of my illness.
Anyway, so I'm back at university this year and I'm making an effort but after a few social outings I realise that my classmates erm, don't appear to like me much. I usually would consider myself to be paranoid but I actually heard them talking about me after they lied to me about what they were doing after class ("Oh we're not going to the bar we're going to go to the library, no nothing's going on tonight").
They were actually saying that they don't like me because I don't make the effort to be liked, that I expect people to take me as I am (I mean that's effing stupid). I've never been particularly popular but this has really annoyed me. It's made me not want to go to university, I've tried making friends with other people but by now everybody has got very cliquey and it's hard trying to fit in anywhere if you understand the logic.
I have great friends outside of university that I met at work and various other places and I have a wonderful boyfriend, but I feel really...stupid. Like I've come to university and through no fault of my own I've been ex-communicated. Whenever I try and make an effort people snub me or just take the mick. One night I went out with these guys I stayed at one of their houses, in the night I was sharing a room (Not a bed a ROOM) with this guy and he tried it on with me. Climbed in my bed and tried to kiss me etc and I ended up scratching him and punching him to make him go away and slept in the hall. I didn't hit on him, he knows I have a boyfriend and has met him. I didn't tell anybody but everybody was talking about it the next week making it sound like I'd been some sort of brazen hussy.
I really don't know what to do, because I enjoy my course but this whole social side of things has just put a real downer on things. Any ideas of how to make these people ...well be nice to me. There's no point in telling me to put my head down and just get on with my work because what sort of life is that? I mean I'll do the work yeah but...all work and no play makes StarCrossed tres miserable and could cause a lapse of my illness.
Post edited by JustV on
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Comments
Welln I guess I'd advise trying with girls firts. They seem to be more open to social contact, especially with other girls. Myabe even tell them about the incident that night int he room, it might sway them to your side.
Other then that, maybe take it as a bad lot and contrate on your friends outside of uni and use uni as means to get a degree, work if you will.
Sounds like you had a hard time and I'm sorry ffor that I hope it improves.
I reckon people will say to jopin societies and stuff, though it didn't help me.
I hope it turns out well for you.
Good Luck!
I hated university because it is full of little kiddies. The wife got grief from her flatmates because she didn't want to go out and get pissed every night, and got mardy when people used all her food and crockery without clearing up. I didn't get grief so much, but I did get the silent treatment.
Big cliques are always like that. I made some great friends at uni, but none of them were in any cliques. I think that was telling.
Don't bother with cliques, and get involved in social groups and such like. Most groups at unis are grateful for the new faces.
The thing with cliques is that they all seem to have somethign in common and if you are desperate for friends you'll change your own personality just to have a bit of company. IMe and my friend from school were feeling like fools, turning up to freshers week "alone" but since we've met loads of peoplewho felt the same and now our group has become a large meshwork of different personalities. We're all living at home but we dont treat outsiders like shit, if they're sound then we all hang out.
Why are people such assholes when it co mes to letting people join in? Pigeon holing is so immature and depressing when you get to my age.
At the end of the day, you have good friends outside of uni (and what's a few hours a day spent with some arseholes?) so obviously you don't suffer from a smelly friend-repelling disease.
Also, apologies for all the typos in that last post lol. Sorry!
Strange thing is outside of university I have a great social life. I used to work as a door to door fundraiser and am quite sociable. But the people in my class are all just so....stuck up and need a damned good smack and I hate feeling like that.
My casses are Ok, but politics seems quite cliquey... However, human rights is full of very nice people, probably because we all have that interest.
Coming to university has taught me a lot. I find the environment to be far less mature than my time in college, with desperate cliques being formed. I find it best to not worry about things so much because you'll most likely find the people you click with sooner or later.