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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A girl i used to go to school with for the last few months has been sending me dirty pictures of herself to my phone. Shes always said she likes/fancies me but hardly sees me. She lives five minutes down the road from me, yet when i call she hardly ever comes to the phone or isnt in. I ask her if she wants to meet up and go out but she always has an excuse or doesnt text me back. Or she says im annoying her and i should calm and chill, it winds me up so much, i dont get any girls who like me for the past few years, and she says she does like me but never wants to see me, instead just sends me dirty pics of herself saying she wants me there.
If i say want me to come round now she either doesnt answer or has an excuse as to why she cant see me. As far as im aware she doesnt have a bf. So what does this all mean, why send me dirty pictures if she doesnt like me, why tell me she likes me but then never see me. I dont know what it means, its been going on for months. Last week i sent her one text a day asking her a question, ranging from do you wana go out for dinner one night to what do you want for xmas and she didnt text back. So i just left it and a few days later she texts me asking me why im ignoring her and not texting her!
I call her at home as i said and she doesnt really ever come to it, her mum just says shes busy and not there, but i know she is cos i hear her telling her mum she aint available! She'll then often text me later saying 'did you call me earlier?'. Its not often girls like me but its like shes just playing games with me, but i cant understand what sort of games, i dont know what to do and it makes me more depressed cos all ive ever really had is girls mess me around, i just want someone to like me.
If i say want me to come round now she either doesnt answer or has an excuse as to why she cant see me. As far as im aware she doesnt have a bf. So what does this all mean, why send me dirty pictures if she doesnt like me, why tell me she likes me but then never see me. I dont know what it means, its been going on for months. Last week i sent her one text a day asking her a question, ranging from do you wana go out for dinner one night to what do you want for xmas and she didnt text back. So i just left it and a few days later she texts me asking me why im ignoring her and not texting her!
I call her at home as i said and she doesnt really ever come to it, her mum just says shes busy and not there, but i know she is cos i hear her telling her mum she aint available! She'll then often text me later saying 'did you call me earlier?'. Its not often girls like me but its like shes just playing games with me, but i cant understand what sort of games, i dont know what to do and it makes me more depressed cos all ive ever really had is girls mess me around, i just want someone to like me.
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Comments
I think it's, sadly for you, just time to move on.
I've tried to ignore her in the past but then she just called me and asked why i was ignoring her, hard to not talk to someone when you answer the phone, im too nice to people maybe. I'm gona see what happens xmas time, she says shes gona buy me a present, so we shall see.
Oh and i phoned her now and actually got to speak to her and just asked her loads of random questions and one was do you love me and she said yes...duno why she said that and like every other girl ive ever met she probably meant to add 'As a friend' cos thats all girls ever say to me
But thanks guys, u are saying what i am thinking.
She needs to stop playing stupid games, grow up and actually talk to you like an adult, or feck off really because she sounds like a nutcase!
She can show you her naked body but not speak to you? Weirdo.
It doesn't sound like she's worth bothering with that much to be honest, but just be cool.
As Kentish put it, she's odd, leave well alone.
Don't tell her that. Just leave her alone. If she calls to ask why you're ignoring her, just say your busy (have a legitimate excuse if possible), then continue to ignore her.
If there's anything to be got from her, she'll come to you. If there isn't, you'll be shot of her anyway. Don't hang in there because you think she'll change. If things remain the same they won't because she holds all the cards and she knows it.
Change your number so that she can't do this then...
i'm really sorri to hear this ;[ but i agree with Kentish she sounds odd and is playing games with you dont bother with her.
Actually, that's not quite true. They won't find you attractive if you keep up this persona of being a pathetic whinger. The world doesn't hate you, stop acting like a victim when you aren't one and you might find people.
You only have nobody because you isolate yourself. Who's fault is that?
hes right though, its not a personal attack its just the truth
if this is how you act around people in real life then nobody is going to want you. Girls dont want to hear about "no one wants me" or "im just gona be alone for ever"
Do you all honestly think i walk up to a girl and use 'Im gona be alone forever' as a chat up line? Of course i dont, im just speaking how i feel, but it seems i cant even do that without the attacks
I come here for help, not to be told 'the truth' which is about as far away from the truth as it is me being a 40 year female porn star.
I think i agree.
This is certainly a brilliant way to keep friends..
Just to make a point.
No, I think I know what I'm talking about because I spent years in therapy with BPD, and have recovered.
Whatever :rolleyes:
You read what you want to read. Not my problem, it isn't me that's tossing my life away.
You've asked for advice, I've given you my advice. I couldn't give a crap if you take it or not, I'm not you, and it isn't my life that's getting spunked away.
To be honest, I'm sick to the back teeth of your whingeing. You've been given enough advice from people who've been there and bought the t-shirt, and you've ignored the lot of it.
If you think this is bullying then all it does is prove what I've said.
Still, I'm a bully by saying that :rolleyes:
My opinion is that people dont like you because you yourself for whatever reason dont like yourself and have problems with low self esteem, whether thats been caused by bullying or bad experience or whatever, until you dont build up your own esteem and recognise that is where the problem lies, then it really is pointless starting a relationship elsewhere because relationships are a 2 way thing. someone else doesnt want to feel they are your nurse or a depository for all the mood swings you go through, they could have become a paid therapist if they wanted that.
Best wishes.
C
He admits himself that he thinks people who are nice are "liars" because they "don't know him". Anyone who is nasty is speaking the truth though, even if they don't know him.
The person stopping himself getting friends and lovers is him. Until he realises that, and does something about it, then he won't get anywhere. That's the harsh truth.
There is only so much help that people can give you. We can't suddenly turn your life into a happy skippy fantasy. You were given a shitload of good advice in your other thread. How much of it have you taken? Be honest.
Just because you don't want to hear what Kermit is saying doesn't make him wrong.
It's easier to mope about blaming the world, luck and everything else that's out of your hands. It's your life. You're the only one who can change things. Everyone who has offered you advice has been in your position, or close to it, at some point.
I thought it was about some girl sending him dirty pictures and then backing off everytime he made a move?
I suggest either ignore her and simply enjoy the pics you get sent or try standing near her house and see if you can bluetooth them to another member of her family
I met you, you ARE a femalre porn star. Looked younger than 40., though.
Lighten up guy, im in much the same place: Alot of girls I know like me, and often say i'd be great with women, but im pretty much single all the time, im one of those "Good freind, but I don't wnat a relationship" types. Typical... :rolleyes: Look at it my way: There are lots of fish in the see, but some guys have a limited range, like we prefer cod, as opposed to a more common haddock.
To the O/P - you're in a massively negative thinking pattern which is extremely difficult to break out of on your own. Suggestions on this thread to stop being 'pathetic' or a 'whinger' don't help - in fact they usually exacerbate the thought patterns that are causing your confidence to take a hammering. Then you get afraid that you will never seem 'normal' to other people and the fear feeds into the vicious cycle.
Clinical depression, which tbh it sounds like you have, is not something a sufferer can 'snap out of'. That's bad advice. You should go see your GP very soon, who will most likely refer you to a specialist. They will help you deal with this issue not solely with Prozac or other meds but by helping you think and perceive in a more positive way and developing coping strategies to deal with inevitable setbacks in your life.
What is causing you to feel so bad because of these (apparently minor) issues in your relationships is not a 'pathetic' personality but a recognised illness, which is treatable. The more you post about this on this message board the more hostile people's reaction will become, psychological disorders scare people which causes angry reactions, so please go and seek advice from professionals who can respond in a way that really will help you.
Don't hit the reply button now, pick up the phone and call your GP for an appointment. You will find nothing to helpful here, and an increasingly hostile audience.
Get dialling.