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Scared of losing him so i dumped him?!?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I sinceraly apoligise in advance for the confusing nature of this...
After a really gruesome break up with my ex a year ago i am absolutly terrified of being hurt again. This is cos i pretty much dont think i could cope with that without doing something stupid.Again.
Over the last few weeks me and my current boyfriend have been bickering over stupid things. However on reflection its me who's initiated it all. The love i feel for my blokey is so intense that it scares me so much because i feel i have no control over it. Having suffered with deppression since my early teens my main coping mechanism is being able to be in control of my emotions. To compensate for not being able to control how i feel for him i spose ive tried to control the relationship to a certain point.Which is why ive initiated the bickering.
On top of this we havent had sex in like forever because i have been suffering from chronic cystitis.Because of the pain and discomfort that has caused me i havent been in the mood for anything. Me and my boyfriend barely hug and kiss let alone anything else.This in turn has made me ultimatly miserable about everything.I feel completly inadequate
So yesterday after a stupid ddispute on the phone i told him i wanted to end it cos of the above.
He went pretty mental and refused to believe that any of the reasons why were true. He said some really horrible,nasty things and pretty much upset me alot and said that he couldnt believe that i was throwing everything away for no reason.
Thing is i dont know what the hell im playing at.
Im throwing away an almost perfect relationship because im petrified of getting hurt and feel like im losing the plot.
I just dont know what to do i feel so crap right now.
Any advice would be greatly recieved.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to tell him what you've just told us. talk to him.
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