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Still feeling very depressed about an abortion 8 years ago

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I had an early abortion 8 years ago and to this day it still haunts me. Has anybody else felt like this?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anyone?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had an abortion 8 months ago and yeah i still think about it, i always will but i know it was definitely the right thing to do. sometimes i wonder what things would have been like if i'd kept it but to be honest i try not to think about it because it doesn't help.
    why does it haunt you? because you regret it? x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote:
    i had an abortion 8 months ago and yeah i still think about it, i always will but i know it was definitely the right thing to do. sometimes i wonder what things would have been like if i'd kept it but to be honest i try not to think about it because it doesn't help.
    why does it haunt you? because you regret it? x

    maybe i do a little. I just always look at children and can't bare the thought of what i done. 8 years is much longer than i ever thought i'd still feel as bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    did you have any counselling afterwards? you should consider it, it might help. it's natural to have regrets and feel guilty but deep down im sure you know it was the right thing for you at the time. you're never going to forget about it but you shouldnt feel guilty.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anyone?

    Give us chance! ;)

    I'm sure that there are many people who still feel like you do, indeed the case in the high court at the moment about abortion has been brought by a woman who still "regrets" what she did a few years ago.

    It's why counselling support is so important and why you should seek it now - regardless of whether you had support in the past.

    What you need to remember though is that you felt it was the right decision for you at the time. Second guessing yourself so many years later doesn't change that fact. Perhaps thinking about why you made the decision in the first place would help? Try not to apply hindsight...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've pm'd you but thought i'd add it to the thread for future reference.

    www.afterabortion.com has some really good message boards for women who have been through this and need to talk about it. it is american based but there's a seperate message board for British Girls, and the ladies on there are lovely. many women don't feel the after effects of abortion for months or years. Not everyone regrets it,but many do and it's a good place to help you heal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had an abortion 12 years ago, and i do occasionally think about it, but it doesnt haunt me.
    You did what was right for you at the time. You cant change what happened but youre still allowed to grieve. Even if it was you that made the choice, it still is a bereavement of a type and you wouldnt have made that choice if circumstances had been different so you need to let go of some of the guilt if you can.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My girlfriend of 16 years ago was forced to an abortion by her parents and it still affects me sometimes. Rainbow Brite was right is sayig it's a bereavement of sorts and like all bereavements we all get upset.

    I would recommend going to counselling. I went through a pretty rough time but found that counselling and talking really helped.

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its normal to still think of what happened, and to feel sad about it, but if it interfering with your life then you need to lay it to rest.

    I know its not the same thing, but we had a miscarriage nearly three years ago now, and I still think of it sometimes, and it does make me a bit sad. It's normal to, I think.

    Perhaps you need counselling if you haven't come to terms with it. Maybe not even professional counselling, but you need to get your feelings out, and learn how to come to terms with it.

    It is a lot like bereavement, and it never goes away. But it does stop being an issue.
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