Virgins?

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

i can have fun without taking drugs

But that isn't the point...

The point is if me & you were having a normal conversation, and I sparked a joint, you'd run away. That shows unfounded fear and hyper-sensitivity which also manifest's itself in your attitude towards sex. This can only be a bad thing. The good news is, you're young and will probably change.

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

But that isn't the point...

The point is if me & you were having a normal conversation, and I sparked a joint, you'd run away. That shows unfounded fear and hyper-sensitivity which also manifest's itself in your attitude towards sex. This can only be a bad thing. The good news is, you're young and will probably change.

i dont mind as long as i dont have to breathe it in or be pressured to take it
and i don't see whats wrong with my attitude towards sex, it's alot better than some people my age

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

i can have fun without taking drugs i.e i dont want to take them or be stuck around people smoking anything, if they want to fill their bodies with it then fine thats up to them, but i don't

Wasn't really meaning by taking drugs or having sex just you never seem to do anything teenagers do?

Former Member

Schnap me Baby wrote:

Wasn't really meaning by taking drugs or having sex just you never seem to do anything teenagers do?

i do hang with my friends, go out and stuff, i'm just not caught up in the whole drinking all the time, sleeping around, getting stoned as you can stuff that alot of people my age are into
and to be honest, where i live there isn't much for teenagers

Former Member

Ballerina wrote:

i do hang with my friends, go out and stuff, i'm just not caught up in the whole drinking all the time, sleeping around, getting stoned as you can stuff that alot of people my age are into
and to be honest, where i live there isn't much for teenagers

No fair enough, was just curious really

Former Member

Well if that's the case I'd rather be "unhappy" than sleep with people when I don't feel ready to.

Former Member

lea_uk wrote:

Well if that's the case I'd rather be "unhappy" than sleep with people when I don't feel ready to.

Never even implied you should do otherwise.

Skive

Ballerina wrote:

i do hang with my friends, go out and stuff, i'm just not caught up in the whole drinking all the time, sleeping around, getting stoned as you can stuff that alot of people my age are into
and to be honest, where i live there isn't much for teenagers

See that's fair enough.

But when people that choose not to do these things then try to gain some moral superiority of us that do, it pisses me off.

Skive

Fiend_85 wrote:

Because it has the same tone of outright prejudice as if you had called a sikh a towelhead, i find it deeply offensive.

I'm not prejudiced to your religion, just every religion. I proud that I don't need to live my life to the words of some old book. My 'inner strength' or whatever has obviously helped.

Former Member

Skive wrote:

See that's fair enough.

But when people that choose not to do these things then try to gain some moral superiority of us that do, it pisses me off.

It's probably worth mentioning that this works both ways. Take Spliffie for example, who appears to be taking some kind of bizarre, reverse moral high-ground. If someone doesn't like drugs or alcohol and "runs away" from them, it doesn't mean they have social problems.

And just to disprove Spliffie:

I'm 21, I can't stand drugs, I don't drink very often at all and I'm a virgin, yet I can socialise perfectly fine and I'm probably the happiest person I know, and with the least personal problems. I can't remember the last time I was feeling unhappy (besides when my Nan died a few weeks ago, and a brief lapse last night when it dawned on me that I hadn't met a single girl I liked for years).

Former Member

iamcrispy wrote:

It's probably worth mentioning that this works both ways. Take Spliffie for example, who appears to be taking some kind of bizarre, reverse moral high-ground. If someone doesn't like drugs or alcohol and "runs away" from them, it doesn't mean they have social problems.

And just to disprove Spliffie:

I'm 21, I can't stand drugs, I don't drink very often at all and I'm a virgin, yet I can socialise perfectly fine and I'm probably the happiest person I know, and with the least personal problems. I can't remember the last time I was feeling unhappy (besides when my Nan died a few weeks ago, and a brief lapse last night when it dawned on me that I hadn't met a single girl I liked for years).

wow thank you! i was hoping someone like you would come along!

Former Member

iamcrispy wrote:

It's probably worth mentioning that this works both ways. Take Spliffie for example, who appears to be taking some kind of bizarre, reverse moral high-ground. If someone doesn't like drugs or alcohol and "runs away" from them, it doesn't mean they have social problems.

I haven't taken any reverse moral ground. I was pointing out the absurd, fearful and moralistic attitudes a lot of 'older virgins' are characterised by. Literally running off when someone lights a joint is symptomatic of someone with problems imo.

And just to disprove Spliffie:

I'm 21, I can't stand drugs, I don't drink very often at all and I'm a virgin, yet I can socialise perfectly fine and I'm probably the happiest person I know, and with the least personal problems. I can't remember the last time I was feeling unhappy (besides when my Nan died a few weeks ago, and a brief lapse last night when it dawned on me that I hadn't met a single girl I liked for years).

I didn't say it was the case with everyone, so you've disproved nothing.

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

I haven't taken any reverse moral ground. I was pointing out the absurd, fearful and moralistic attitudes a lot of 'older virgins' are characterised by. Literally running off when someone lights a joint is symptomatic of someone with problems imo.

You're a fool. I suggest you've never actually met someone with problems - you must have a pretty comfortable existence if that's the worst thing you've experienced.

And you did take a moral high ground. Your morals.

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

You're a fool. I suggest you've never actually met someone with problems - you must have a pretty comfortable existence if that's the worst thing you've experienced.

And you did take a moral high ground. Your morals.

Yeah, and I suggest you're talking out of your arse.

I know loads of people with problems, some minor, some serious to the point of attempted suicide.

Worst thing i've experienced? What the fuck are you talking about?

And show me where i've moralised?

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

But that isn't the point...

The point is if me & you were having a normal conversation, and I sparked a joint, you'd run away. That shows unfounded fear and hyper-sensitivity which also manifest's itself in your attitude towards sex. This can only be a bad thing. The good news is, you're young and will probably change.

Just one example

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

What's the point in that personal strength if it doesn't reap you any rewards?

I've always considered people who decide to remain a virgin throughout their teenage years to be an unhappy bunch with personal/social problems. Why the puritanicalism?

Oh yeah, and Skive is right. Your religious environment - because you have belief - applies more pressure to remain a virgin than society does to have sex.

Another

Former Member

Okay.
So, from those two examples, what morals have I shown myself to uphold?

Former Member

That disliking drugs makes people dislike sex, keeping one's virginity beyond teenage years makes you unhappy and that religious beliefs are anti-sex.

I don't know what you're like in person, Spliffie, but you come across as an arrogant little shit in this thread.

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

That disliking drugs makes people dislike sex, keeping one's virginity beyond teenage years makes you unhappy and that religious beliefs are anti-sex.

I don't know what you're like in person, Spliffie, but you come across as an arrogant little shit in this thread.

Those are assertions - not morals. Anyway...

People who often abstain from sex tend to also abstain from drugs. I believe the reasons for their abstinence from both are linked, and those reasons are often linked to aspects of their personality which may hold them back in life. Maybe that's absurd to you, but it's evident to me in my analysis of other people.

I also haven't said that keeping your virginity beyond teenage years will, by default, make you unhappy. Drawing from personal experience of people, and analysis of them, it's patently obvious to me that a disproportionate number of post-teenage virgins are unhappy, lonely and generally fearful people who follow a very unrewarding path (whatever the reason for following that path may be).

Are the majority of religious beliefs not opposed to pre-marital sex?

Former Member

These "assertions" describe your moral framework. You're better, happier, more open-minded...whatever...because you're not a virgin - that's bascially what you're saying. You're justy making sweeping generalisations - can you not accept that there are as many unhappy sexually active people as there are happy virgins?

Skive

Spliffie wrote:

Drawing from personal experience of people, and analysis of them, it's patently obvious to me that a disproportionate number of post-teenage virgins are unhappy, lonely and generally fearful people who follow a very unrewarding path (whatever the reason for following that path may be).

I think this is a fair enough point. Sex is an important part of any adult realtionship. If by the age of twenty you havn't lost your virgintiy it is quite likely you havn't been in a serious relationship - something I think is relatively important and rewarding whilst growing up.

Former Member

Horses for courses I guess.

Indrid Cold

Skive wrote:

If by the age of twenty (...) you havn't been in a serious relationship - something I think is relatively important and rewarding whilst growing up.

That's the part I agree with. You might even remove the word "serious".

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

These "assertions" describe your moral framework.

No, they don't describe my moral framework at all. Drugs and sex aren't moral issues to me.

You're better, happier, more open-minded...whatever...because you're not a virgin - that's bascially what you're saying. You're justy making sweeping generalisations - can you not accept that there are as many unhappy sexually active people as there are happy virgins?

But that wouldn't be proportional.

You're minsterpreting what i'm saying here. Abstinence isn't wrong - it's a person choice, which in my opinion, isn't instrically superior to having sex, and through personal experience of knowing/meeting older virgins, is often (i.e. not always) symptomic of a person with troubles.

Former Member

I could easily turn that around and suggest that unhappy people are just less likely to have sex.

And your opinions on sex & drugs are part of your moral framework.

Former Member

I really don't think morals should come into this discussion at all.

I don't see how choosing to have sex (whether in a relationship or not) or to do drugs makes you a more or less moral person.

Similarly I don't see how choosing to abstain from the them makes you a more moral person. Its down to personal choice ... you're ready when your ready and shouldn't be looked down on or judged for the decisions you make on these issues.

A girl told me the other night that I was a bad person because i smoke, have had one night stands and sometimes do drugs (although I'm sure anyone of these on their own would have been enough for her). I find it strange that she judges me from a moral stand point derived from a book that has inspired people at times to commit some of the greatest atrocities in human history.

I'd like to think I'm a moral person ... I don't cheat or steal, i help out people when i can, i'm not racist and don't judge people by their beliefs, i'd never intentionally hurt someone without exceptional reason and yet because i like sex or smoking or drugs she's a better person than me??? How does that work?

Former Member

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' with morals - they are not the same as rules - everyone has a set of morals on which they will base such decisions.

For example, one person may view sex to be best within marriage, others may not; some may like one night stands, others will not; some will try any or all drugs, others will stop at cannabis. Et cetera. Your morals are the justification for your decision.

Former Member

Kentish wrote:

I could easily turn that around and suggest that unhappy people are just less likely to have sex.

Unhappyness can be a factor in having less sex, if you lack confidence and exuberance, but that doesn't really turn anything around.

And your opinions on sex & drugs are part of your moral framework.

No, they are not. I don't moralise over people abstaining from drugs or sex, it's their choice and my sense of morality doesn't come into play whatsoever. My morals, based upon personal honour, do however force me into action when people suggest their lifestyle is somehow superior to mine.

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

Unhappyness can be a factor in having less sex, if you lack confidence and exuberance, but that doesn't really turn anything around.

When you say virginity causes unhappiness, I suggest the reverse that unhappiness produces virgins. Much more logical in my view than your perverse reasoning.

No, they are not. I don't moralise over people abstaining from drugs or sex, it's their choice and my sense of morality doesn't come into play whatsoever.

You pass judgement on others based on your views. That's moralising, however you dress it up.

Former Member

Spliffie wrote:

I also haven't said that keeping your virginity beyond teenage years will, by default, make you unhappy. Drawing from personal experience of people, and analysis of them, it's patently obvious to me that a disproportionate number of post-teenage virgins are unhappy, lonely and generally fearful people who follow a very unrewarding path (whatever the reason for following that path may be).

Here's one that ain't unhappy... I'm lovin' life at the moment and don't have self-esteem issues.

Maybe some people do freak at the thought of having sex but it really doesn't bother me... It's not that I don't get turned on or fancy people, it's just that I haven't found anybody interesting and attractive yet.

So you know a lot of post teenage virgins then? To be honest a lot of post teenage virgins wouldn't admit to wearing their V plates anyway, or wouldn't be open about it... So really, you could have met more happy virgins than sad ones.