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Virgins?

135

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    I think sex is special and very important in a relationship but that's not to say you have to be in a relationship to have sex.

    And that's not to say that the only good sex is in a relationship either.

    When you have the understanding that comes with love then sex means more, and it makes it more intimate. The intimacy is fulfilling.

    But I've had some cracking sex with a one-night stand.

    Intimate sex and not-intimate sex are completely different things IMHO. I wouldn't want to lose the intimacy now, but sex with a new person really can be very very good, even if you don't know their name and don't care what it is.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    And that's not to say that the only good sex is in a relationship either.

    That's what I meant innit! :D
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Simply remaining a virgin is nothing to be proud of, and nothing to be ashamed of either.
    I disagree, I think with the way society pressures us toward sex rather than away from it, remaining a virgin into adulthood is something that requires a not insignificant amount of personal strength.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I disagree, I think with the way society pressures us toward sex rather than away from it, remaining a virgin into adulthood is something that requires a not insignificant amount of personal strength.

    That implies you think losing your virginty shows a lack of 'personal strength', a sign of weakness, even something to be ashamed of. Don't forget there are many pressures to keep your virginity too.

    To be able to have your own mind and ignore these pressures is something to be proud of, but simply the fact your a virgin isn't.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't say that I thought losing it was a lack of personal strength. I think you're being unusually naive to think that there are even remotely (not that I've ever experienced any) as many pressures to stay a virgin as to lose your virginity.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I didn't say that I thought losing it was a lack of personal strength.

    Well if keeping your virginity takes 'personal strength' losing it shows a lack of it surely?

    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I think you're being unusually naive to think that there are even remotely (not that I've ever experienced any) as many pressures to stay a virgin as to lose your virginity.

    Are you telling me that as part of the God squad you've never felt any pressure to remian a virgin?
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a virgin too..... waiting for the right lass
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Iremaining a virgin into adulthood is something that requires a not insignificant amount of personal strength.
    Hardly. it would require personal strength and courage of herculean proportions for me to ask a girl out and start a relationship and get round to having sex. Far easier to just carry on the way I am.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    Are you telling me that as part of the God squad you've never felt any pressure to remian a virgin?

    Don't be so derisive of my religion.

    Moonrat is not a christian, and haven't been one my whole life.

    I'll say it again for your benefit, that just because staying a virgin in todays society is a definate demonstration of personal courage and strength DOES NOT mean that losing it means that you lack such qualities.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Don't be so derisive of my religion.

    Why not?

    Stil my point stands. Can you honestly tell me that your religion hasn't has some bearing on the fact your still a virgin?

    I'm equally as proud that I wasn't pressured by into staying a virgin by religious pressure. That takes inner strength you know.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because it has the same tone of outright prejudice as if you had called a sikh a towelhead, i find it deeply offensive.

    My religion can't have had any major impact on me still being a virgin until adult hood, because I didn't become a christian until I was 17. More to the point I was talking about MOONRAT who is not, that's not a christian.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Because it has the same tone of outright prejudice as if you had called a sikh a towelhead, i find it deeply offensive.

    Well I think your being a little too sensitive but there you go. What about bible basher, that OK?
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I didn't become a christian until I was 17.

    So what? Would it affect any decision you made now? I reckon it would.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I disagree, I think with the way society pressures us toward sex rather than away from it, remaining a virgin into adulthood is something that requires a not insignificant amount of personal strength.

    What's the point in that personal strength if it doesn't reap you any rewards?

    I've always considered people who decide to remain a virgin throughout their teenage years to be an unhappy bunch with personal/social problems. Why the puritanicalism?

    Oh yeah, and Skive is right. Your religious environment - because you have belief - applies more pressure to remain a virgin than society does to have sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    What's the point in that personal strength if it doesn't reap you any rewards?

    I've always considered people who decide to remain a virgin throughout their teenage years to be an unhappy bunch with personal/social problems. Why the puritanicalism?

    Oh yeah, and Skive is right. Your religious environment - because you have belief - applies more pressure to remain a virgin than society does to have sex.
    so if you're a teenage virgin then you're unhappy? :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    so if you're a teenage virgin then you're unhappy? :yeees:

    A virgin hitting 20 is likely to be unhappy, most definitely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    A virgin hitting 20 is likely to be unhappy, most definitely.
    i know someone who is going on 20 and a virgin, he's a very happy person who just hasn't found someone worth sleeping with
    whats wrong with that?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    i know someone who is going on 20 and a virgin, he's a very happy person who just hasn't found someone worth sleeping with
    whats wrong with that?

    You might think he's happy, but that really means nothing unless you know him very closely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    You might think he's happy, but that really means nothing unless you know him very closely.
    i've known him for 5 years and he's one of my best friends
    i just disagree that your sexual activeness can define how happy you are, if he was unhappy about being a virgin, he'd go out and lose it wouldn't he?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    i've known him for 5 years and he's one of my best friends
    i just disagree that your sexual activeness can define how happy you are, if he was unhappy about being a virgin, he'd go out and lose it wouldn't he?

    20 year old males who choose not to have sex generally have problems socially, personally and thus are often unhappy. Is he religious?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    20 year old males who choose not to have sex generally have problems socially, personally and thus are often unhappy. Is he religious?
    just because he's 20 and a virgin does not make him socially retarded or unhappy....how can your happiness and social status be defined by how many/or not people you've slept with? Because he's still waiting for the right person doesn't make him unhappy, how can everyone be expected to meet the right person they want to lose their virginity to before they hit 20? Everyone is different. And no he isn't religious.
    So are you saying a 20 year old female virgin wouldn't be classed as unhappy etc?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    just because he's 20 and a virgin does not make him socially retarded or unhappy....how can your happiness and social status be defined by how many/or not people you've slept with? Because he's still waiting for the right person doesn't make him unhappy, how can everyone be expected to meet the right person they want to lose their virginity to before they hit 20? Everyone is different. And no he isn't religious.
    So are you saying a 20 year old female virgin wouldn't be classed as unhappy etc?

    I didn't say your happiness and social status is defined by how many people you've slept with.

    But being an 'old' virgin is indicative of unhappyness. I'm not saying every such person is unhappy, but i know virgins of 19/20, all of them deeply unhappy with personal problems. If they 'choose' to wait, that's even more reflective of a general unhappy and highly sensitive person imo. There isn't any real reason, if you aren't religious, to not seek sexual relationship unless your very sensitive, self-conscious and/or lacking evolutionary drive.

    For a girl of 15, I can understand why you think keeping your virginity for a long time is admirable...as someone of 20 I see what virgins my own age are like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    I didn't say your happiness and social status is defined by how many people you've slept with.

    But being an 'old' virgin is indicative of unhappyness. I'm not saying every such person is unhappy, but i know virgins of 19/20, all of them deeply unhappy with personal problems. If they 'choose' to wait, that's even more reflective of a general unhappy and highly sensitive person imo. There isn't any real reason, if you aren't religious, to not seek sexual relationship unless your very sensitive, self-conscious and/or lacking evolutionary drive.
    whats wrong with choosing to wait if you're not ready?
    not being ready for sex doesn't make you unhappy, if someone wants it to be special but hasn't found the right person to share it with then thats up to them. I certainly don't see the 'unhappiness' in that.
    So if they decided one day 'oh fuck im tired of being a virgin' then went out and did with the first person they could would make them an even more unhappy and insecure person than someone who wants to wait in my opinion.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    whats wrong with choosing to wait if you're not ready?

    I didn't say there was anything wrong with that.
    not being ready for sex doesn't make you unhappy, if someone wants it to be special but hasn't found the right person to share it with then thats up to them. I certainly don't see the 'unhappiness' in that.

    From your perspective that's probably true, as a 15 y/o girl. That's how you feel. But the majority of 20 y/o virgins out there are unhappy, I've met/known enough of them to understand that. If you aren't having sex at 20 then your relationship potential is also seriously limited, which is only going to make social/personal problems even worse.
    So if they decided one day 'oh fuck im tired of being a virgin' then went out and did with the first person they could would make them an even more unhappy and insecure person than someone who wants to wait in my opinion.

    Then such a person would appear to have a problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    if someone wants it to be special but hasn't found the right person to share it with then thats up to them.
    seriously what is all this crap??
    why should losing your virginity be such a special moment in time? like almost everyone has sex, its so natural and enjoyable. why should virginity be kept sacred until marriage until you find the 'right' person. who is the right person anyway? most relationships dont even work out!
    why build it up so much? i swear its because of religion. have you ever heard those christian preachers in u.s.a about sex before marriage? bloody brainwashers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but there will be 20 year old virgins out there who can socialise perfectly well and have relationships, which don't always have to include sex. If both parties don't want to then thats up to them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    but there will be 20 year old virgins out there who can socialise perfectly well and have relationships, which don't always have to include sex. If both parties don't want to then thats up to them.

    Being blunt, a guy of 20 who doesn't want to have sex with attrative women has serious problems. All of the people who i've come across who don't have sex at all by choice have serious personal and social problems. I've noticed their non-sexual behaviour is always accompanied by blatant low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, anxiety and poor social skills. Also they usually run away when I spark a joint up, which is proof of their problems.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    personally i wouldn't want to be exposed to drugs either
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    personally i wouldn't want to be exposed to drugs either

    Why not? If someone light a cigarette outside or opened a bottle of wine would you run away?

    You've just about proved my point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    personally i wouldn't want to be exposed to drugs either

    Do you ever have any fun?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you ever have any fun?
    i can have fun without taking drugs i.e i dont want to take them or be stuck around people smoking anything, if they want to fill their bodies with it then fine thats up to them, but i don't
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