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Is celibacy an option??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right I know Im gonna get slagged for this but its yet ANOTHER thing thats been bothering me.(I know Im totally head fcuked).
If I decided I wanted to be celibate and have girls as nothing more than friends would I really be missing out that much of my life?
Thing is I only have these thoughts after looking at porn(as it depresses me for some reason)and it always wants to make me STAY alone even though I complain about it. :shocking: It just makes me want to disappear and live alone for the rest of my life but I dont know why.
Whan I read an interview or hear women saying they want to be pornstars it makes me feel likes theres no point trying anymore and I just want to give up and curl up alone.
Anyone else as messed up as me or has been?
Once again I apologise for this post but replies appreciated.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Become a monk :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why does looking at porn or hearing that a girl wants to be a porn star make you depressed?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    THATS what Im so confused about.When Im looking at it Im fine but when I get bored and turn it off I keep thinking about it and then get depressed and confused and just feel bloody stupid!! :banghead:
    I think Im just a fcuk up full-stop....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but you're not explaining why u get depressed... when you're thinking about it afterwards, what is it you're thinking?

    how old are you btw?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get this too......if its the same as I get its really hard to explain.I guess I realise that I`ll never do any of the stuff at all and realise the lonliness and it progresses from there.The confusions stuffs horrible as well.
    But thats me.
    Ps I dont mean do stuff like cum on girls etc....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're only 17! all this talk about you being messed up and fucked up is a bit far fetched. be patient, you'll meet a girl who you like and who likes you back. you're so young :p you have your whole life ahead of you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't watch porn?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How can we not watch porn?Its farking EVERYWHERE!!All over playstation magazines and Tv etc......you cant get away from it!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I knew a boy who got upset at himself for watching porn, is that what you mean?
    When i was younger, before i had a boyfriend or any sexual experiences or discussed being sexual with my friends, i used to be totally ashamed of myself for masturbating, i felt awful like it was dirty and awful. But then i grew up and learnt that lots of people do it and its not so bad.
    Watching porn isnt for everyone, and as a girl i think its still quite taboo to admit it amoungst some friends, i have watched porn adn felt bad about it, i also get period when i really dislike the people in it, think they have no morals and are discusting etc etc...but yet i watch it...its like im beating myself up and them, but its not worth getting depressed over.
    Really, there are worse things they, and i for that matter, could be doing, then having/watching people fuck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rimmer88 wrote:
    How can we not watch porn?Its farking EVERYWHERE!!All over playstation magazines and Tv etc......you cant get away from it!!

    A picture of a semi naked woman/man is not quite porn.

    Oh and to the poster - theres more to a relationship then sex. Having a girlfriend is not all about getting laid, sex is actually a bonus way of showing youre affection in a relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow......

    no idea mate

    The most natural instinct a man has is to reproduce and have sex, it's plain WRONG to not want sex or feel bad when you see/hear aobut sex

    i'm not sure if he means he feels bad for watching it in an ashamed way or that he feels bad because he is lonely and wants to be having sex himself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have no idea how monks and nuns do it :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know sex isnt everything but I think Im just getting fed up of seeing everyone else do it and no interest in me whatsoever!Even as just a friend...!!
    I think I`ll stop posting....I sound really whiney and desperate but Im not.....just fed up of being alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry......I feel exactly the same as you but Im going in the army next week and have got to keep positive. :thumb:
    Plus,Iv been reading that girls like an army uniform and Im going para so if anyones interested............. :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know sex isnt everything but I think Im just getting fed up of seeing everyone else do it and no interest in me whatsoever!Even as just a friend...!!
    I think I`ll stop posting....I sound really whiney and desperate but Im not.....just fed up of being alone.
    it might seem like everyone else is at it but its really not true. for every couple out there i'm sure there are 2 other single people.

    also, i must stress again that you're only 17. and the more you focus on it and make it such a huge deal the more depressed you'll become. and tbh, you're more likely to find someone when you least expect it.

    why don't you concentrate on being young and go out and have fun with your mates.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really dont stop posting cos you thin you sound whiney or whatever...we dont know you and dont have to like you, dont worry if things you say annoy one or two people you've never met, just say what you honestly feel and want to share, if you cant do it here you cant do it anywhere. Really what people on here think about you REALLY does not matter, its a place to come and say the things you dont have the courage to in teh real world, people will do the same in their responses. I find this place a really good sounding board, i say things on here then realise if they sound dumb and save myself the bother of causing an argument or whatever in teh real world. You get honest opinions here cos no one knows you or really cares too much, they arent going to say what you want to hear because they dont have to deal with the consequences if they upset you.

    I realise that might sound harsh but its true, as long as you havent come here hoping everyone will love you andyoull make a whole heap of best friends then youll be fine, its an anonimus place and thats why i like it so much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's plain WRONG to not want sex

    No it isn't. Some people have very low libidos, that is their choice.

    Oh, and there are an awful lot of people who DON'T have sex. Through choice.

    I would call you a certified cretin, but you actually managed to raise one decent point later on in the thread. I'm amazed you did, but credit where credit's due, eh.

    To get back to the original poster though:

    1. If you don't want sex then don't have sex. But if you do want sex then don't decide to be celibate.
    2. If you feel guilty about watching porn, you should perhaps watch less of it.
    3. Porn is actually quite bad for you in large doses, as the whole point of it is unrealistic fantasy. If you start to watch it as anything more you can end up believing that the fantasy is reality, when it is not.
    4. You need to go and talk to someone, they don't need to be professionals, but if you have such a blackened perspective on the world then you need to talk about it and get through it. Life only has a point if you make it have one, objectively there is no point to life. There is a huge amount of enjoyment and fun to be found, but you won't find it sitting in your bedroom listening to Morrissey.
    5. You need to work out what it is you want, and get out and try and make it happen. There's never any shame in failing, unless you fail because you don't try. You're only 17 ffs, you're only a child- are you seriously telling me that you don't expect anything good to happen to you in the next 65 years? Come on, pull the other one.

    Life isn't easy, that's what makes it so much fun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    No it isn't. Some people have very low libidos, that is their choice.

    Not challenging you but curious...is a low libido chosen? Cos i think i might have one, can i change it? I bloody hope so!
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Become a monk :thumb:
    Myself, I'd have done so already, if I believed in their cause.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's your choice. I think that it is unnessisarily difficult to find someone in the first place. It isn't vital that you meet someone.

    If it matters so much, go out and talk to people. If they don't like you or "reject" you chance is you'll never see them again, and if you do, fine, fuck em.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow......

    no idea mate

    The most natural instinct a man has is to reproduce and have sex, it's plain WRONG to not want sex or feel bad when you see/hear aobut sex

    Not really... I've been single for a couple of years now and won't go looking for sex, it's just not a priority.

    It annoys me, the whole "you're a virgin, you should grow up/there's somethng wrong with you" type attitude, I hate it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not really... I've been single for a couple of years now and won't go looking for sex, it's just not a priority.

    It annoys me, the whole "you're a virgin, you should grow up/there's somethng wrong with you" type attitude, I hate it

    I'm the same apart from the being single for a couple of years bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think this kid's problem is that he's down cos he has no luck with the girls, which I can relate to as I used to be the same about 2 years back, and if I looked at porn or saw fit lasses it would get me down cos I'd be thinking 'I'll never get anyone like that' but after a few years I finally realised that I CAN get these girls, and the way to do it is simply by being a happier person and being more friendly instead of being all shy, shyness gets you nowhere, just be happier and you'll get women, simple as, it works for me now I've got a great girl.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex is a natural thing and an INSTINCT that you want to do it. Every single person related to you in the past 300,000 years has had sex. It's somethign your body wants you to do and is natural.

    If this instinct makes you feel bad, there is something seriously wrong.

    If you don't want sex by choice and repress the instinct, fine that's normal. But I don't see it as healthy to have negative views on sex.

    *edit* I turn down sex all the time, last night even. I'd rather be intimate with a girl.

    I'm talking in from the perspective that the natural instinct that makes you see a girl and go "wow, I wanna shag her!" is making him feel bad.
    If the want to reproduce is so bad doesn't that make homosexual and asexual people 'unnatural'?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Enfilade wrote:
    I think this kid's problem is that he's down cos he has no luck with the girls, which I can relate to as I used to be the same about 2 years back, and if I looked at porn or saw fit lasses it would get me down cos I'd be thinking 'I'll never get anyone like that' but after a few years I finally realised that I CAN get these girls, and the way to do it is simply by being a happier person and being more friendly instead of being all shy, shyness gets you nowhere, just be happier and you'll get women, simple as, it works for me now I've got a great girl.
    And happly little butterflies flying on colourful cartoon flowers, and birds chirping.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all the replies to my stupid post.
    I think Enfilade has got it right about how I feel....but saying I should overcome my shyness is easy but when it comes down to it I find it damn impossible. :mad:
    I`d love to be able to walk around smiling at girls and being happy and walk up and start coversations with people but I cant......especially alone.Most of my mates have gone to college which I opted not to(marine wannabe Iv decided :D )and the others were doing drugs and stuff which I didnt want to be involved in.
    Hopefully I`ll get in the marines and make some mates though.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You were a marine??Cool any advice?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh ok.Any tips about overcoming the shyness then please?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think what works for me, might not work for you, is to go around with the pressumption that you'll get rejected, or that they won't like you.

    That's what I did, I stopped caring whether they like me or not, and I just by default assume I'm not going to get anywhere with girls. Normally that kind of attitude would make one think "well then why bother?" Well if you train yourself, you can use this attitude more effectively to your benefit. It transform into "hey, I've got nothing to lose, might as well just look at her and say 'hi'."

    The most vital lesson I learned a few years ago is that some girls will avoid a guy if they think "if I talk to him he's going to think I like him and then he won't leave me alone." Because that's exactly what I did, any girl that so much as says one word to me I become way too clingy. So now I learned my lesson and backed down a little. I'm more casual, I go out there and interact with no expectations. The other night I walked into a bar and got a drink, walked over to the tables and saw a girl sitting all by herself. We made eye contact so I raised my beer to her and nodded my head a little. She smiled back at me. I went and sat down by myself and that was that.

    A week before that incident, I was standing by the juke box flipping through the records, rolling my eyes at the apparent lack of good music. Next thing I know it some girl is standing next to me, and I didn't notice until she spoke. We both agreed that the music in this jukebox is lame, and she makes a comment about wishing they'd let us bring our own CDs or something. I come back with my own little comment about bringing your iPod, but then that defeats the point of having loud music played in a bar. Good times.

    It's the little things like that, that make going out fun. Don't always look with your eyes hoping to get a "catch." Sometimes you just gotta be out there for laughs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well,Ive got the rejection attitude bang on target so thats the easy part done with. :rolleyes:
    Just gotta do the Hi and smiles and small talk bit now..... :confused:
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