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Lazy flatmates

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
So yeah, I live in student halls and whils three of us pull our weight on the cleaning, two flatmates don't do shit... As in they cut bread on filthy work surfaces, leave shit all over the cooker ect.

When we first got there, myself and another guy said they could use our saucepans as they'd just come over from America and needed to sort themselves out.Now one of them is using my plates, utensils and stuff too and leaving it on the side filthy (how much effort to run something undera tap?).

They're also very noisy, like they talk and laugh really loud in the corridoor when people are sleeping and wake us all up. They come in to the kitchen when we're watching TV and make such a racket...

Now is it me or are they being rude? Or is it just Americans?

See I want them to be a bit more respectful as they're pissing the other flatmates off too. It's like living with two fifteen year olds (literally) in how they behave, but when they're alone they're nice... Well one of them seems really nice, not sure about the other and I don't wanna fall out with them.

How do I tell them?
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd just have a quiet word with them. Be clear, but not nasty. Tell them outright that the way they're acting can't continue.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can try and have a word, but more likely you'll end up getting more and more bitter and twisted as the year goes on and move out with a big grin on your face at the end of the year. Some people just have less awareness of how pissing annoying they are to others - maybe they've never had to clean up after themselves at home, and maybe they think the utensils are communal.

    Choose next year's flatmates carefully. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I@d have a word with them, or maybe take to doing a cleaning rota...I know it shouldn't need to come to this but sometimes they help.

    My first year in halls was pretty similar. Except there were only 4 of us...2 females, 2males. The males were completely scruffy and hardly ever washed up and one of them went out every single night, came home at 3 in the morning, and had a mate in another flat in the halls who insisted on coming round at about 4am every morning and waking us all up. Unfortunately I never got it sorted and I was very glad to move out by the end of the year.

    Think I'm going to be glad to move out end of this year as well...but at least I have my fellas where I can go and escape most nights. But current flat mate seems to be getting worse at cleaning. She used to be very good at doing the washing up but crap at everything else...now she just does nothing and I get bored of coming home and having to clean the kitchen and wash up before I can even make my own tea.

    But thats flat mates for you and you'll be lucky ever to find flat mates that have exactly the same standard of cleanliness as you....one way or another one will be less satisfied than another. It's just learning to compromise with each other.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    I'd just have a quiet word with them. Be clear, but not nasty. Tell them outright that the way they're acting can't continue.
    Yeahit's pissing all 3 of us off. I woke up this morning and found the kitchen I'd cleaned dirty, one of my plates had been left out covered in sauce and some food was caked inside my saucepan, all of it was in the sink. So I had to clean it up and left in a hurry for my lesson & had to get breakfast in the way.

    It's inspection today and my job was the sink and work surfaces.

    Don't wanna fall out with anyone, it's jus annoying me how inconsiderate some people are... Like they expect us to look after them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my flat mates are similar i swear think the bins are taken out by magic, when it gets bad iwith the dishes ill scrape their food bits into the bin so they might be dirty but we wont get serious pests, we'll just have dirty dishes, but thats as far as id go

    try mentioning it to them sometime,just briefly and see if they get the message, if they dont, then start moaning


    my rooms a tip but it aint got food in it, just some empty beer cans :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    had the same problem myself last year, 3 of us had kitchen stuff, the other 3 didnt as they were foreign students. we were quite happy to share until things stopped getting cleaned after use.

    we spoke to them 3 times, in a clear ,calm, non-accusory way. the 4th time it happened we moved all our kitchen stuff into our own rooms so no-one could use it except us, and when they asked we told them exactly why.

    two days later we got apologies and it didn't happen again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would put all the dirty things they have left out in their bed. If they ask why you can always say that you thought they must have forgotten about washing it up so you were being helpful by reminding them.

    I do that, even a George Foreman grill (the full size one). I suppose if things get really bad you could also keep a plate, bowl, mug glass etc in your room for when you've no time to root stuff out of the sink.

    With regards to the obnoxious behaviour, as Kentish said, some people just don't realise how loud they can be and how it pisses other people off. So you'll probably have to sit them down and explain and hope they take it on board. We did that with one of my flatmates and it worked pretty well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we didnt go as far as putting it on their bed last year, we just put their things in a cardboard box and left it outside their room. they got the hint. if they're using your things though, best thing to do is have a word and tell them unless they wash up afterwards youd rather they didnt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha. Welcome to the world of share accomodation my friend.

    I had one of those last year at Uni and the one thing it's taught me is that if there are people who don't have anywhere to live, there's a reason why and there's no point in being charitable!

    To be honest, from deeply personal experience, there's only so much kind words and suggestions can achieve. Unfortunately, if this person is hell bent on being a twat, you're gonna have to bite the bullet and accept that there's only so much nagging and gentle reasoning can accomplish. Have a decent shout at him/her just to make it clear where you stand.

    I'm afraid if they're still intent on being social dickheads, there's very little you can do - just count the days til the end of term.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, from deeply personal experience, there's only so much kind words and suggestions can achieve. Unfortunately, if this person is hell bent on being a twat, you're gonna have to bite the bullet and accept that there's only so much nagging and gentle reasoning can accomplish. Have a decent shout at him/her just to make it clear where you stand.

    :yes: I had the same problem last year. There was only so many times I could say "please wash up after you use my things" or "please dont take my things into your room for days on end, I need them" before it got to the stage of "touch my things again and I'll break your neck".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i seem to live in the miracle flat. 4 girls and we are all the same level of kitchen cleanliness. however i have a friend who shares a kitchen with 20 and its a nightmare. id suggest a rota? each take a weekday then its less specific to them
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    although the chances are they wont stick to the rota either... but setting one up might encourage them to start doing their bit a little bit more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think tbh its an issue which most students face at some point during their time at uni. one of my flatmates was bloody awful last year - she didn't do any cleaning or anything either, and she started really crossing boundaries opening and reading my mail... etc. thing is, honestly i doubt there is much you can do to make them change their ways... just make sure you are not living with them next year!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try talking to them about it. If they ignore you, take your stuff into your room and lock it away. Bit annoying but at least you wont have to wash up their shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeahit's pissing all 3 of us off. I woke up this morning and found the kitchen I'd cleaned dirty, one of my plates had been left out covered in sauce and some food was caked inside my saucepan, all of it was in the sink. So I had to clean it up and left in a hurry for my lesson & had to get breakfast in the way.

    It's inspection today and my job was the sink and work surfaces.

    Don't wanna fall out with anyone, it's jus annoying me how inconsiderate some people are... Like they expect us to look after them.
    Ya see, thats where your kinda going wrong. Yes have a chat with them, but you also have to teach them/show them a lesson. I used to have flatmates that were nasty as well with plates and cups and that. All I would do is take their plates and either put them in their room or place them outside their door and wash up my own shit and clean up my own mess only. To hell with all the im-going-to-wash-up-after-them shit.

    You carry on cleaning for them and they will never learn.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mist wrote:
    try talking to them about it. If they ignore you, take your stuff into your room and lock it away. Bit annoying but at least you wont have to wash up their shit.
    Yes, I agree with this also. I am assuming they have been around long enough for them to find their own cutlery. Put ur shit in your room.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ugh

    Same old story. I wash up all my stuff almost as soon as I've finished with it, everyone else spills stuff and doesn't wipe it and lets the washing up pile up to the extreme. And the bin to overflowing. I can almost see the e-coli virus multiplying in glee on our work surface. Three of them ok, clean stuff up (eventually) the other dude lets his plates go mouldy. He eats microwave meals and leaves the packets lying where ever he finishes with them. Two of them use everyone elses mugs, cutlery, plates, pans baking trays tea bags arghh!!! Still. It's student life, i guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh I fall into the "lazy flatmate" category, but it's weird, there's a girl in the halls who seems obsessed with cleaning, she does all of our dishes and although sometimes she nags, she doesn't seem too fused. Sweet like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We've resorted to a rota this year. Usually it's laziness as opposed to deliberate messiness though - some people just won't notice a dirty plate while other people will recoil at the sight of it and immediately take it to the nearest sink. Your best bet is to point out stuff to them so that they know it needs doing - it's tedious I know, as you don't want to be the 'mum' of the group, but it has to be done sometimes. Catch them when they're eating and say 'oh I need that plate in a bit, could you wash it up when you're done' or something like that. Failing that, put it outside their rooms as someone suggested - my friend had to resort to that and it sounds like it's a tried and tested method!

    Maybe if one of them has a birthday coming up you could buy them some crockery - they might get the hint.

    As for the noise thing - there's not much you can do I'm afraid - that's just student life for you. I found people were pretty responsive in my halls if you could actually get up the courage to go out and ask them to be quiet, but I never really had the guts unless armed with a good excuse like 'I have an exam at 9am tomorrow' or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lazyyyyyy flatmates..

    well im a first year living in halls with 4 other girls.. and where im not filthy and if i do borrow other peoples stuff, then i wash it up and stuff... but at the same time..im abit like the nightmare people u discribed..

    i come in, in the early hours..and like dont intentionally wake everyone up.. but im drunk, and then me and my mates will go in the kitchen and cook and stuff..sing...invite more people..and so on..

    at the start of the year, my other flatmates tried to get us all to go to tescos and like...all 5 of us buy cleaning products...lol..does this only sound weird to me?? i was like i just moved into halls at uni, the last thing i wanna do is go on an outting to buy cleaning stuff...

    and yes, i did live as independently as possible at home, but this is uni!!! as i said im not filthy, but i dont make extra efforts to clean! and yea its well selfish but they always clean...so why deny them the pleasure?

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lmj008 wrote:
    at the start of the year, my other flatmates tried to get us all to go to tescos and like...all 5 of us buy cleaning products...lol..does this only sound weird to me?? i was like i just moved into halls at uni, the last thing i wanna do is go on an outting to buy cleaning stuff...

    and yes, i did live as independently as possible at home, but this is uni!!! as i said im not filthy, but i dont make extra efforts to clean! and yea its well selfish but they always clean...so why deny them the pleasure?

    At least you admit you're an anti-social twat who would benefit immensely from a fully interactive excursion down a flight of stone steps.

    Cleaning stuff is the first thing you buy after milk and bread.

    Sel, you should keep your crockery and cutlery in your room, and any washing-up that isn't done should get tipped in their beds. Though as they sound like filthy little shits anyway, I doubt they'd notice. We tried that with one housemate, and they were still there, growing mould in her room two months later.

    Mind, she did think that hot water and washing up liquid weren't necessary to clean plates...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:

    Mind, she did think that hot water and washing up liquid weren't necessary to clean plates...

    That pisses me off immensely. Or drying dishes with a tea towel that's black and was previously lying in a corner of the kitchen, what's the point?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're gona have to stand up for yourself!
    say to them firmly that you don't want them to use any of your stuff again unless they wash it up afterwards. and they should respect that other people live there and want things to be clean, so they need to pull their weight.

    but you will need to learn that not everyone is going to be as clean/tidy as you. some people don't think about it. like they'll keep adding stuff into an already full bin without realising it would be easier to take the rubbish outside and put a new bag in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    like they'll keep adding stuff into an already full bin without realising it would be easier to take the rubbish outside and put a new bag in.


    that happens in my house and it's so annoying! last year we even had people putting rubbish in carrier bags around the bin.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    you're gona have to stand up for yourself!
    say to them firmly that you don't want them to use any of your stuff again unless they wash it up afterwards. and they should respect that other people live there and want things to be clean, so they need to pull their weight.

    That doesn't always work.

    In my experience, selfish oafs will just inore ultimatums, and do it anyway. When GWST had the flatmates from hell (posh and Southern, say no more) they still did it, regardless of what she did. It was such a shame beating the brains out of the little twat was illegal. I did always make a point of parking my car so that he couldn't get out of "his" space, mind.

    The best solution is to keep your stuff in your room, apart from the few small items that need to be kept refrigerated. Buy skimmed milk (nobody will nick that), put food colouring in all your stuff, etc etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lmj008 wrote:
    and yes, i did live as independently as possible at home, but this is uni!!! as i said im not filthy, but i dont make extra efforts to clean! and yea its well selfish but they always clean...so why deny them the pleasure?

    Because its not a pleasure.

    What you are doing is selfish, rude, nasty, unpleasant, dirty and revolting.

    I'm really glad I didnt go to a Halls uni because I wouldnt have been able to put up with that kind of thing, its just vile. Maybe I could have asked to be housed with a flat of poofs.
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