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People you work with??!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone!

So i have a major problem with the girl i work with, its a really strange situation as she hasnt actually done anything wrong but is just a complete and utter weirdo!!

She is very quiet, when i first started working at my job i thought she was just shy, however then i thought perhaps she is just extremely rude!! she just never talks and if i see her out, she acts like she doesnt see me! Okay before i go on, she is like this with everyone in the office! She is the office manager and there is just an atmosphere all the time as she makes people feel uncomfortable!

On another note, we all went out a few weeks ago and she was very chatty and loud and stupid old me thought we had bonded........ then i saw her the next day and it was like the night before had never happened! :confused:

It has almost been a year that i have worked here and i am getting so depressed, i hate coming in to work as i am just bored, i do my work and then just leave!! i know i should just look for another job but before i worked here i was temping for like a whole year and going for interviews and its just a big hassle at the moment as i am moving house and just started a new course! what can i do about this mute like freak girl!! HELP! has anyone come across a similar person and how did you deal with them!! i just cant be bothered to try anymore as i barely get a yes or no response!!

Any suggestions would be GREAT!

Cheers :thumb:
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd imagine she's quiet because she just wants to get the whole bloody day over with. Both of you could do with a change of job. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She sounds hy, and she probably thinks you don't like her, so she doesn't bother talking to you.

    After all, if you think her a "freak" it will be obvious when you are talking to her that you don't like her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just try and make some small talk with her, if she bothers to chat to you then let it progress into regular conversation. If not, then either wait for her to talk to you, or just leave her be. It's her choice to be how she is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    She sounds hy, and she probably thinks you don't like her, so she doesn't bother talking to you.

    After all, if you think her a "freak" it will be obvious when you are talking to her that you don't like her.

    Actually you are wrong as its not that i dont like her, its that i dont get her!! i have made every effort to be nice to this girl, offer to make her tea, ask her if she wants anything if i go out, for her birthday i got her a card, i have made many attempts to get along with this girl, i get on with people really well, i just find that i am banging my head against a brick wall, i think i will just have to accept that maybe that is just her!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She is the office manager


    she's keeping a distance because as a manager it is easier to manage stuff if you aren't involved on a personal level!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually you are wrong as its not that i dont like her, its that i dont get her!! i have made every effort to be nice to this girl, offer to make her tea, ask her if she wants anything if i go out, for her birthday i got her a card, i have made many attempts to get along with this girl, i get on with people really well, i just find that i am banging my head against a brick wall, i think i will just have to accept that maybe that is just her!!!!


    I think you should! Not everyone wants to be freinds with the people they work with. Maybe she has enough of her own freinds outside of work?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't read the bit that said she was your boss.

    Some bosses like to keep a distance. It's more professional. It sounds to me like you are not being professional by calling her names because she doesn't want to be your friend. I think some maturity would be in order, and not from her either.

    You don't always get on with your colleagues, and you don't need a reason to. Calling her names because she won't be your best mate is hugely unprofessional and immature.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    byny wrote:
    I think you should! Not everyone wants to be freinds with the people they work with. Maybe she has enough of her own freinds outside of work?

    Well thats just it, i dont think she does......... maybe i am being unsympathetic here but basically we work together and sit right next to each other while the rest of the office is behind us, so she is my only interaction throughout the day, and if i were the office manager i know for a fact that i could be friendly and talk to people as well as not getting too personal!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I didn't read the bit that said she was your boss.

    Some bosses like to keep a distance. It's more professional. It sounds to me like you are not being professional by calling her names because she doesn't want to be your friend. I think some maturity would be in order, and not from her either.

    You don't always get on with your colleagues, and you don't need a reason to. Calling her names because she won't be your best mate is hugely unprofessional and immature.

    If i were calling her names to her face and being completely rude, then yes that would be considered as unprofessional, going onto a website and talking to people on how to deal with the situation when you are unhappy with the way someone acts towards you is called venting out, quite frankly i find you very critial..... :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    quite frankly i find you very critial..... :(

    That's a very astute observation you've made there, because I am very critical of your attitude.

    She sounds very shy, and she just wants to do her job and go home. For whatever reason she doesn't want to talk to you, or people generally. It's not your place to criticise that, if you can't deal with it then its your problem.

    Venting or not, labelling her a "freak" and an "utter weirdo" because she doesn't want to talk to you illustrates a greatly immature and unprofessional attitude. Whilst you don't call her it to her face, that you think that about someone is usually blatantly obvious to everyone.

    It's no wonder she doesn't want to talk to you, really.

    Time for you to learn some maturity I think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    That's a very astute observation you've made there, because I am very critical of your attitude.

    She sounds very shy, and she just wants to do her job and go home. For whatever reason she doesn't want to talk to you, or people generally. It's not your place to criticise that, if you can't deal with it then its your problem.

    Venting or not, labelling her a "freak" and an "utter weirdo" because she doesn't want to talk to you illustrates a greatly immature and unprofessional attitude. Whilst you don't call her it to her face, that you think that about someone is usually blatantly obvious to everyone.

    It's no wonder she doesn't want to talk to you, really.

    Time for you to learn some maturity I think.

    People like you really get my goat up!! how about you be a little more objective, instead of being on the attack all the time!

    See this is the thing with emailing, you dont know me and if you did, you would know when i call someone a 'freak' or 'weirdo' it really isnt in a horrible and vindictive manner as if someone called me either of those, i really wouldnt care!

    How dare you go on like i am some horrilbe person, obviously something hit home there!!

    And NO it is not obvious as its not like i sit here and give her dirty looks and talk about her behind her back! i am very polite and professional so why dont you stick your comments up where the sun dont shine!! oh no was that another immature remark! get a clue mate!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fair enough - she should be polite. If she's being rude then that's not on!

    Do you lunch at the same time? Personally I find it very difficult when people come and sit on my table at lunch, but you could try it and see what happens. Or maybe just make simple steps like ask if she want's a coffee or offer her a sweet or something?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to add, there were about 6 temps before i came to work here, all potential candidates for a permanent position, however they either left as they couldnt deal with her or she told our Director she didnt want them here........i think that says it all doesnt it.......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    we have someone like this who works in the next office. it's more than being shy, we suspect she just hates everyone.

    she doesn't work for our company, but our offices share a kitchen, and if you bump into her in the kitchen and then just say hi or ask how she is, she glares at you and scuttles off. if you come into work behind her, instead of holding the door for you (it locks behind you, and you have to buzz to be let in) she'll turn round and slam it in your face. she recently did this to one of our girls who is very pregnant and about to go on maternity leave, as she was waddling across the car park to get there in time. preggers girl is the sweetest person you've ever met, and even she swore after that.

    some people are just rude, and there's no need. you don't have to be mates with all your staff/workmates, but how hard is it to just be polite?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How dare you go on like i am some horrilbe person, obviously something hit home there!!

    I said immature and unprofessional, not horrible. The two are not the same. One can be wonderful but a little child at the same time.

    I don't know what on earth what you mean by the last bit. I get on with the people I work with.

    So she hates you and/or everyone. It happens. Big deal. No need to be so defensive and sulk because of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I said immature and unprofessional, not horrible. The two are not the same. One can be wonderful but a little child at the same time.

    I don't know what on earth what you mean by the last bit. I get on with the people I work with.

    So she hates you and/or everyone. It happens. Big deal. No need to be so defensive and sulk because of it.

    This may come as a shock to you, but most of the threads on this site are people sulking about things!!! :yes:

    Also she is funny with everyone and doesnt 'hate me'

    Oh and if you are the outcome of the word 'mature', i think ill stay put thanks..... :D I like who i am and if that means i am immature about things sometimes, so be it!!

    Not all of us are as thick skinned as you Kermit, what an odd name for someone who is sooo mature, is that your real name..... i am assuming it is after Kermit the frog??? :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, clearly a sense of humour means a lack of maturity and professionalism...

    Kermit mate, I think you've got things pretty much spot on here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its work, you are paid to be there, its not a social club, get on with the job then leave, you wouldnt be there if you werent getting paid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not all of us are as thick skinned as you Kermit, what an odd name for someone who is sooo mature, is that your real name..... i am assuming it is after Kermit the frog??? :p

    Well maybe you should be. Yeah, it's uncomfortable, and if its so bad see if you can move desks or put the radio on or something. But she isn't going to want to talk with you, and she isn't bothered, so why should you be?

    Yes, Kermit is my real name. You too can join my fan club, just send a cheque for £19.99 to Kermit, 1 Maturity Avenue, Newcastle upon Tyne, NEW 8IE. You get a set of steak knives as an introductory offer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    Its work, you are paid to be there, its not a social club, get on with the job then leave, you wouldnt be there if you werent getting paid.

    I disagree with this, yes work is work and you obviously get paid for it, but its okay to get paid and be happy in your job, this is where i spend most of my life! dont get me wrong its not all bad, i just dont see why the girl who i sit next to everyday is rude and very hard work!! (oh and i cant move desk or put on the radio) ??? whoever said that! :rolleyes:

    I am moving out of home and have just started a course which i do after work so it is nearby, also as i mentioned i was temping for a year and its very compeitive in London to get a job, i went on so many interviews, all were good interviews but there was always someone better i guess and it got me down so i am gonna stick this job out for a bit longer..... :crazyeyes

    The point of this thread was to just see if anyone had anyone like the girl i described in their office and if they had any suggestions on how to deal with people who are like that!! Jezz!!!

    Why have i become the bad guy, she is a weirdo! end of! :p

    :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I disagree with this, yes work is work and you obviously get paid for it, but its okay to get paid and be happy in your job, this is where i spend most of my life! dont get me wrong its not all bad, i just dont see why the girl who i sit next to everyday is rude and very hard work!!:

    She doesnt talk to you, how can that be hard work?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    She doesnt talk to you, how can that be hard work?

    Oh right so when you ask people questions and they blank you because they are rude, thats okay it is, 20 times a day, i have to talk to her and ask her things as we are meant to be a team!!

    Yeah really smart alec!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    Why have i become the bad guy, she is a weirdo! end of! :p

    :wave:

    Has it occured to you that she may be autistic? Are you prejudice some how?

    And you're wondering why we think you're acting like a child? Especially with your behaviour toward established and respected members of this board.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bongbudda wrote:
    Its work, you are paid to be there, its not a social club, get on with the job then leave, you wouldnt be there if you werent getting paid.

    she doesn't want to get out the boombox and boogie on down.

    the problem is that because of ms. frosty, there is an atomosphere and it's awkward for everyone in the office.

    have none of you honestly been in that situation?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    she doesn't want to get out the boombox and boogie on down.

    the problem is that because of ms. frosty, there is an atomosphere and it's awkward for everyone in the office.

    have none of you honestly been in that situation?


    Thank you Kaffrin, i was starting to think i was going mad!? lol

    As for her being autisic Fiend, i think i can tell the difference between that and someone with an attitute problem........ my mum works with people with mental health problems and has looked after autisic children in our home....

    The established and respected maybe, but your not very open minded and are very quick to judge, subsequently you are the 'older' lot and apparently not very down with offices of the current times lol :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cherrypie the person you described sounds just like my manger who also sits next to me.. except that on top of all the things you mentioned, she is always spying on me.. she acts like she's working and then suddenly gets up and turns around to look at my screen to see if i'm working or not.. and then she'll sit down again like nothing happened.. weird.. and she's always listening to other people's conversations.. which people find really irritating. she's always quiet.. and she's a workoholic.. she comes in at 8am and doesnt leave until at least 6pm..
    if i ever need to do a bit of flexi time and am in until 6 or something, she will deliberately stay behind then just to check i'm not getting up to anything.. this is really dumb because everyone else knows how hard i work and i'm always on top of things..
    and when we go out for a meal during christmas or whatever, she will be one of the loudest people there.. but sometimes i feel sorry for her because she has a drinking problem (something she doesn't admit to, i don't think) and she seems like an unhappy person.. but still, that's no reason to act like this..
    i feel for you cherrypie because i know exactly how you feel, i was looking for other jobs aswell about 3 months ago.. then i just thought what the hell, forget her, she's my manger but that's it, all my other collegues are wicked people and if she doesn't want to get involved then that's her problem not mine..
    sorry about this being too long but don't worry about her, she may be depressed or have some problems outside of work causing her to be like this xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    atz wrote:
    cherrypie the person you described sounds just like my manger who also sits next to me.. except that on top of all the things you mentioned, she is always spying on me.. she acts like she's working and then suddenly gets up and turns around to look at my screen to see if i'm working or not.. and then she'll sit down again like nothing happened.. weird.. and she's always listening to other people's conversations.. which people find really irritating. she's always quiet.. and she's a workoholic.. she comes in at 8am and doesnt leave until at least 6pm..
    if i ever need to do a bit of flexi time and am in until 6 or something, she will deliberately stay behind then just to check i'm not getting up to anything.. this is really dumb because everyone else knows how hard i work and i'm always on top of things..
    and when we go out for a meal during christmas or whatever, she will be one of the loudest people there.. but sometimes i feel sorry for her because she has a drinking problem (something she doesn't admit to, i don't think) and she seems like an unhappy person.. but still, that's no reason to act like this..
    i feel for you cherrypie because i know exactly how you feel, i was looking for other jobs aswell about 3 months ago.. then i just thought what the hell, forget her, she's my manger but that's it, all my other collegues are wicked people and if she doesn't want to get involved then that's her problem not mine..
    sorry about this being too long but don't worry about her, she may be depressed or have some problems outside of work causing her to be like this xXx

    Hiya atz!

    Thank you for your reply, its nice to know i am not the only one! lol

    To be honest i am just gonna get on with it, it doesnt bother me most days, just sometimes it would be nice to come in, get a 'good morning' have a little chat, ya know it breaks up the day sometimes!! but i am just gonna have to accept it! :crazyeyes

    I know what you mean about the spying too....... she is very sneaky! even when she eats her lunch, she is like a little mouse, its like she will take a bite of her sandwich when i am not looking! lol that that i watch her eat!

    Perhaps she is depressed, for a while i thought she had an eating disorder as she is very into her fitness! oh who knows, i am done caring, i never wanted to be her best friend, but being civial never hurt anyone.......

    XxX See ya :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol! my manager does the same thing... sneaky eating, sneaky looks and the list is endless..
    itz kool that you're not making a big deal out of it, i can understand why you must have been wondering what was wrong with the woman but at the end of the day you can just get on with your own work without having her on the back of your mind.. and if she does do those weird things, then just laugh it off or whatever, at least she cant blame you for being the bad one eh xXx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Kaffrin, i was starting to think i was going mad!? lol

    As for her being autisic Fiend, i think i can tell the difference between that and someone with an attitute problem........ my mum works with people with mental health problems and has looked after autisic children in our home....

    The established and respected maybe, but your not very open minded and are very quick to judge, subsequently you are the 'older' lot and apparently not very down with offices of the current times lol :D


    20 is old now?

    Kaffrin has a point, but tbh, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    20 is old now?

    Kaffrin has a point, but tbh, I think you're making a big deal out of nothing.

    My bad i read your profile after........ well i am 23, so that fact that your calling me immature is just funny xx
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