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Parent's acusations..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently I have been on i diet, which has been working well (lost about 5kg).
Now, this has been over about 4 months. My parents have been on my back about it, asking me everyday what I ate, how much of it, and then watching carefully while i eat dinner. After a while of this I feel like i will soon explode!
Alot of my friends have also asked me if I was okay, and suggested that i have an eating dissorder. I'm so sure that i don't that it's extremely frustrating. Why doesn't anyone listen to what I have to say? So many people have said this to me that i'm starting to believe it, which is even worse!
Today my dad said that i have an eating disorder, this was the first time he'd actually said those words. I got so angry i locked myself in my room. I don't think i can handle being watched any longer!! :banghead: how do convince people that i'm ok? I eat heaps, the thing is i get full on snacks that people don't see me eat, and then i don't feel like eating dinner with my family.
Has this happened to anyone else?
Please help!
Now, this has been over about 4 months. My parents have been on my back about it, asking me everyday what I ate, how much of it, and then watching carefully while i eat dinner. After a while of this I feel like i will soon explode!
Alot of my friends have also asked me if I was okay, and suggested that i have an eating dissorder. I'm so sure that i don't that it's extremely frustrating. Why doesn't anyone listen to what I have to say? So many people have said this to me that i'm starting to believe it, which is even worse!
Today my dad said that i have an eating disorder, this was the first time he'd actually said those words. I got so angry i locked myself in my room. I don't think i can handle being watched any longer!! :banghead: how do convince people that i'm ok? I eat heaps, the thing is i get full on snacks that people don't see me eat, and then i don't feel like eating dinner with my family.
Has this happened to anyone else?
Please help!
0
Comments
what sort of things have you been eating on a typical day?
First and foremost they're your parents and they are supposed to be naturally concerned about your health and well being.
Losing 5kg over 4 months is a very healthy amount to have lost, unless you were underweight or of 'normal' weight anyway.
If your parents didn't express their concern then they would be failing as parents.
I would suggest that you sit down and talk things through with them. It might actually be that you aren't eating enough food and they just want to let you know they care.
On a typical day i eat toast for brecky, and apple at school recess, a sandwich for lunch, come home make toasted cheese, eat dried fruits, normal fruits ect. My parents come home at around 6:30 so by then i'm pretty satisfied. Oh and I also don't eat after 8pm. I made that rule ages ago, and i always stick to it.
My parents are paranoid because i have a really close friend who they know very well who has an ED and they always reference her, which makes me mad because i'm not her!!
In regards to me being underweight, well apperntly i am. I weigh about 46kg and am 164cm tall. I have a pretty small frame, so i'm looking healthy.
You're currently eating toast, an apple, sandwich, cheese on toast, some nuts. It simply isn't enough. If you're underweight then you shoudl think about doing exercise to maintain your current weight level rather than simply cutting down on your food intake.
:chin:
People obviously care about you. And if it helps you to wake up to the fact that you're not treating yourself well at the moment, that can only be a good thing.
What made you want to diet in the first place? You sound like you're at school/college - did people give you a hard time about your weight, or did you decide to diet of your own accord? At 51 or so Kg, that's a pretty healthy average for your height.
You might want to take a look at the section on healthy eating and take it from there.
Try keeping a food diary to make sure your not eating too little. Remember fruit and veg are very healthy and very low in fat! I have kept a food diary every day since February of this year, i find it helps me to eat more healthier because of the guilt factor of writing down that i ate a kingsize mars and the feel good factor of seeing plenty of fruit and veg written down!
There is no 3 square meals a day, its not healthy eating.
In regards to why i don't eat with my parents, I do but it seems that it's never enough. They are watching what and how i eat. I NEVER finish whats on my plate, since i was little, but now if i don't it's a huge deal. I find myself forcing food down, just so i don't have a huge fight with them.
Thanks for all your replies!
Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.
Speak to a professional to see if you do have a problem that maybe you are denying to yourself.
I know my family were very worried about what I ate... I didn't eat much and never finished meals, I just didn't have much of an apitite... Like you I'd fill up on snacks and then not be able to eat my meals properly. But I didn't think there was really anything wrong with me... I new I wasn't fat, infact I new I was a bit underweight, but I was also feeling depressed at the time and I liked feeling I had some control over my eating.
My counsellor and doctor both would weigh me and said I was too thin but still eating just enough to keep me going so it wasn't a problem as such...
My family and friends would comment on my food intake which just pissed me off so I'd feel more determind not to finish my food even if I wasn't full yet...
Anyway, for a few months I've felt a lot better mentally, and it seems to have an affect on my eating habbits... I don't snack so much and I rarely leave stuff on my plate... I've put 1/2 a stone on and I'm still more underweight then you are, but I'm trying to put more on because I still don't feel healthy the way I am.
I know it isn't the exact same situation, but when I was going through a tough time with people's comments there was always a little voice in the back of my head telling me they were right and that's why I was getting so worked up about it.
If you keep your parents happy it sounds like you will be happier. I think you should listen to them and put some weight on. If you can see your bones poking out anywhere, even your ribs I think its time to face up to the fact that you need food more than you thought.
i could say i was in a similar situation, as my mum is totally convinced i've got eating probs at the mo. mainly because i have in the past, and now every time i lose a single pound they assume i've done it on purpose. but i'm a little bit different as these days i do eat more than enough (3000+ calories a day at the moment and although i've pretty much stopped losing, still not gaining) and am generally not well.
you don't weigh enough for your height. that's the long and short of it. i'm not even as tall as you are and when i weighed 46kg the docs were not at all impressed. it isn't healthy and you will damage yourself. this is the reason everyone's on your back.
You need to accept that you may have a problem and that you should seek professional help just to be sure. This isn't a case of accepting that your parents are correct to be concerned, but neither is it running away from could be a serious health issue.
If you continue the way you are at the moment then you will only get more stressed by how others react around you.
That's all well and good. Question is, now that you have our advice are you going to follow it? Or will you run to your bedroom and close the door.
Confront the issue and it will get resolved. Hide from it and it will just fester.
You might find some of these articles on healthy eating useful...