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Parent's acusations..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently I have been on i diet, which has been working well (lost about 5kg).
Now, this has been over about 4 months. My parents have been on my back about it, asking me everyday what I ate, how much of it, and then watching carefully while i eat dinner. After a while of this I feel like i will soon explode!

Alot of my friends have also asked me if I was okay, and suggested that i have an eating dissorder. I'm so sure that i don't that it's extremely frustrating. Why doesn't anyone listen to what I have to say? So many people have said this to me that i'm starting to believe it, which is even worse!

Today my dad said that i have an eating disorder, this was the first time he'd actually said those words. I got so angry i locked myself in my room. I don't think i can handle being watched any longer!! :banghead: how do convince people that i'm ok? I eat heaps, the thing is i get full on snacks that people don't see me eat, and then i don't feel like eating dinner with my family.

Has this happened to anyone else?

Please help!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    eating disorders have had a fair bit of publicity of late, and its possible your parents may have become paranoid about them...especially if you have been dieting when they don't think you need to. if you find you get full on snacks, maybe it would be best to cut down on the snacking so you can eat your proper meals...this would keep your parents happy and probably have more nutritional value too.

    what sort of things have you been eating on a typical day?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you eat on a typical day?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate to say it but there must be a reason that your parents are asking you all these questions.

    First and foremost they're your parents and they are supposed to be naturally concerned about your health and well being.

    Losing 5kg over 4 months is a very healthy amount to have lost, unless you were underweight or of 'normal' weight anyway.

    If your parents didn't express their concern then they would be failing as parents.

    I would suggest that you sit down and talk things through with them. It might actually be that you aren't eating enough food and they just want to let you know they care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried to explain to them how i feel, but it ends up being a huge fight. I fight with them about this nearly every day and I find myself pissed off all the time because they just won't leave me alone.

    On a typical day i eat toast for brecky, and apple at school recess, a sandwich for lunch, come home make toasted cheese, eat dried fruits, normal fruits ect. My parents come home at around 6:30 so by then i'm pretty satisfied. Oh and I also don't eat after 8pm. I made that rule ages ago, and i always stick to it.

    My parents are paranoid because i have a really close friend who they know very well who has an ED and they always reference her, which makes me mad because i'm not her!!

    In regards to me being underweight, well apperntly i am. I weigh about 46kg and am 164cm tall. I have a pretty small frame, so i'm looking healthy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't eat enough. Full Stop. You simply can't be getting enough food to sustain your energy levels and in the long run you'll begin to feel more lethargic. You should be eating at least one balanced meal per day (for example a portion of skinless chicken with veggies and some potatoes).

    You're currently eating toast, an apple, sandwich, cheese on toast, some nuts. It simply isn't enough. If you're underweight then you shoudl think about doing exercise to maintain your current weight level rather than simply cutting down on your food intake.

    :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if thats all you are eating then i think your parents have cause to be concerned to be honest. like bumblebee said, its not very balanced.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you want your parents to stop having a go at you, why don't you just eat a meal with them instead of having the snacks? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not eating enough, that's why they're worried about you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What the others have said. BMIs aren't always the best thing to go by, but at 17.1 you are very underweight. In this state, you're not dieting - your starving your body of much needed nutrients, and it's sustaining these levels by extracting them from your reserves - a lot of your weight loss could be due to muscle loss.
    So many people have said this to me that i'm starting to believe it, which is even worse!

    People obviously care about you. And if it helps you to wake up to the fact that you're not treating yourself well at the moment, that can only be a good thing.

    What made you want to diet in the first place? You sound like you're at school/college - did people give you a hard time about your weight, or did you decide to diet of your own accord? At 51 or so Kg, that's a pretty healthy average for your height.

    You might want to take a look at the section on healthy eating and take it from there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's frustrating isn't it? I'm a size 12 and i eat regularly, but small amounts. My mother is always going on at me telling me i should eat more! I eat more than enough, but i'm constantly dieting. However i prefer to eat my normal amount, but in diet foods and to excercise regularly. My sister is around a size 18 and my mother is about that too, so i guess to them i am thin. i try not to get upset about it when she tells me i need to eat more. I know it's because she loves me and it's a mother's job to interefere.

    Try keeping a food diary to make sure your not eating too little. Remember fruit and veg are very healthy and very low in fat! I have kept a food diary every day since February of this year, i find it helps me to eat more healthier because of the guilt factor of writing down that i ate a kingsize mars and the feel good factor of seeing plenty of fruit and veg written down!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see why your parents do not grasp the concept that you are eating well and you will hopefully not catch an eating disorder. Don't worry, at least they're not ignoring your health, which would not at all be at the same scale as your problem now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    quarfly wrote:
    I don't see why your parents do not grasp the concept that you are eating well

    There is no 3 square meals a day, its not healthy eating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know how to do the quote thing, but what made me diet, is that i was eating junk bascally every day. No-one has ever given me a hard time about my wieght, most of my friends are hevier than me. The thing was, although I wasn't fat, I has excess wieght that shouldn't have been there. My mum has a pretty thin figure and i'm bassically like her. Because i over ate so much i was getting too big for my frame, and now i'm getting back to what I should look like (I think).

    In regards to why i don't eat with my parents, I do but it seems that it's never enough. They are watching what and how i eat. I NEVER finish whats on my plate, since i was little, but now if i don't it's a huge deal. I find myself forcing food down, just so i don't have a huge fight with them.

    Thanks for all your replies!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well you are very underweight.....like everyone else says you need to eat more - you don't want to turn into a bag of bones, i can see why your parents worry, because if you carry on it could turn into an eating disorder.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know what you want us to say, shiz.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    I don't know what you want us to say, shiz.

    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.
    start eating properly then
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.

    Speak to a professional to see if you do have a problem that maybe you are denying to yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.
    How tall are you? How much do you weigh? How much do you excercise?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.

    I know my family were very worried about what I ate... I didn't eat much and never finished meals, I just didn't have much of an apitite... Like you I'd fill up on snacks and then not be able to eat my meals properly. But I didn't think there was really anything wrong with me... I new I wasn't fat, infact I new I was a bit underweight, but I was also feeling depressed at the time and I liked feeling I had some control over my eating.
    My counsellor and doctor both would weigh me and said I was too thin but still eating just enough to keep me going so it wasn't a problem as such...

    My family and friends would comment on my food intake which just pissed me off so I'd feel more determind not to finish my food even if I wasn't full yet...

    Anyway, for a few months I've felt a lot better mentally, and it seems to have an affect on my eating habbits... I don't snack so much and I rarely leave stuff on my plate... I've put 1/2 a stone on and I'm still more underweight then you are, but I'm trying to put more on because I still don't feel healthy the way I am.

    I know it isn't the exact same situation, but when I was going through a tough time with people's comments there was always a little voice in the back of my head telling me they were right and that's why I was getting so worked up about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry so much about what you look like!! Whats important is your health. If you dont feel hungry you might want to see a doctor about getting some appitite stimulants. You might be getting 5 portions of fruit and veg a day but it is important to get some fat on board as well.

    If you keep your parents happy it sounds like you will be happier. I think you should listen to them and put some weight on. If you can see your bones poking out anywhere, even your ribs I think its time to face up to the fact that you need food more than you thought.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    Oh, I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar situation and how I could avoid it gettin worse. Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.

    i could say i was in a similar situation, as my mum is totally convinced i've got eating probs at the mo. mainly because i have in the past, and now every time i lose a single pound they assume i've done it on purpose. but i'm a little bit different as these days i do eat more than enough (3000+ calories a day at the moment and although i've pretty much stopped losing, still not gaining) and am generally not well.

    you don't weigh enough for your height. that's the long and short of it. i'm not even as tall as you are and when i weighed 46kg the docs were not at all impressed. it isn't healthy and you will damage yourself. this is the reason everyone's on your back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shiz wrote:
    how I could avoid it gettin worse.

    You need to accept that you may have a problem and that you should seek professional help just to be sure. This isn't a case of accepting that your parents are correct to be concerned, but neither is it running away from could be a serious health issue.

    If you continue the way you are at the moment then you will only get more stressed by how others react around you.
    Also needed to get it out, was very frustrated and angry.

    That's all well and good. Question is, now that you have our advice are you going to follow it? Or will you run to your bedroom and close the door.

    Confront the issue and it will get resolved. Hide from it and it will just fester.
  • <Sam><Sam> Deactivated Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Hi Shiz

    You might find some of these articles on healthy eating useful...

    :)
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