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Job application
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a
McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida ......And they hired him
because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But
seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they’re better suited to a
more
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would
be,
“Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION? I may already be
a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE? On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy, dumb sexy blonde super model, who thinks
I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be
doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE? Yes, Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
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0
Comments
If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
two: it's McDonalds
three: i got it through e-mail, i doubt it's validity <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
ˆMấ§ŧế®° <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/games/poke/005.gif"> ¤ĐєvĩŁĩ§Ħ¤™