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i dont know how im ever going to get over this

I just cant handle it anymore.
I feel like the car window has been opened and ive been chucked out onto the motorway. I have no job, a course which i cant concentrate on and have no interest in anymore. I have to try and find somewhere to live for me and my son, work out what benefits im entitled to, I have to try and just stop crying for a little while.
I cant cope when he goes out now, I feel so jealous, even though i know it makes no difference. Ive moved into my mums while shes away on holiday, but it just brings it home how lonely i am. Ive never been single before - let alone a single mother. Apparently he hasnt loved me for years, but hasnt had the bollocks to tell me.
I just dont know what to do, or where to start. I feel like im never going to be ok
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will be okay eventually, even if it seems like the cloud will never have a silver lining. I'm sure your mother will be more than willing to offer you support whilst you try and get back on your feet again. No matter what you think, have hope.

    Have you spoken to anyone, like a friend/family member? It might help. I'm sure they care about your and your sons welfare.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I deeply sympathise with you I too often get very lonely but for different reasons. I know how it can make you feel and please please remember that you were single once before, you are quite capable of living, you are quite capable of looking after yourself and your child. You are safe at your parents home, you need to get a job, this will probably make you feel much better as it will give you time with other people and hopefully lead you to making new friends, this is what I am trying to do at the moment. Being a single mum must be very straining but hopefully you will find your family will help you. You have probably lost interest in your course because you have bigger worries and problems at the moment, don;t lose heart, I'm sure it will benefit you and your son, so keep at it. You will get through this, just remember that you were single once, you will be able to cope with this!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel like im never going to be ok

    you will though. you won't see it now. you probably won't see it for a while. but if you concentrate on you, and on mini-brite, and on getting through days, it'll get to a point where you realise that all the days have added up, and you've made it a month, six months, a year, and your still here, and you're ok.

    your life has just totally changed. and not for the better. so yeah, you will feel like shit. i won't sugar coat it. you'll probably feel like shit for a while. but look after yourself, and mini-brite and you'll get through it. and once you pop out the other side (which you will - even though you can't begin to imagine it now) you've stil got a whole massive chunk of life to enjoy.

    i hope it gets a bit easier for you soon. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there any way you can put your studies off for a year? I'm sure they'd allow it for health reasons as you're under huge amounts of stress at the moment - at least get yourself back on your feet before making a decision.

    Is there any way you can have third party contact with him at the moment? Anything to save you any undue pain at the moment?

    You have lots of support out there, and once you get the benefits sorted, that'll all be out of the way, and your family and friends will rally round to help you.

    Believe me, you're not alone in this, as lonely as it feels. If you want my number, PM me x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you have to focus on you and your child for now, and having the extra pressure of studies may be hindering you. I mean, I dont know for sure, but it seems it is. Plus you say you don't like the course/not intrested in it much so maybe you could take a year out and channel energy into you and your child.

    I understand what you are going through and it is hard, I too have to find somewhere to live and I am also staying with my mum at the moment. It is very difficult, being a single parent and feeling you are going alone but you have to think about you for now.

    My adivice to you is take one thing at a time. Don't think you have to stay at uni - explain your circumstances and they will understand. Try to do one thing a day and see how things pan out.

    Hope this helps ya, and take care. :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your replies.
    Im on a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment. Sometimes i actually feel ok, quite practical and almost optimistic about it all, and then other times i just feel like my worlds caved in and cant cope at all. I sent him some horrible texts last night, calling him evil and that hes ruined my life, and then we shouted on the phone for a bit, and ended up both crying again.
    Ive spoken to uni, and im taking a few days off my placement. Everyones been really good, and im going to speak to my facilitator next week about maybe a bit of compassionate leave. On one hand I know I should keep busy, but then on the other hand, I just dont know when im going to burst into tears, so im a bit of a liability at the moment.
    Got an appointment with housing advice next week, so am going to see about renting somewhere and whether i can get housing benefit, being that I have my name on a mortgage, but its untenable for me to actually live there with him, or to pay my mortgage myself if he moved out and I stayed.
    Just utterly confused.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your replies.
    Im on a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment. Sometimes i actually feel ok, quite practical and almost optimistic about it all, and then other times i just feel like my worlds caved in and cant cope at all. I sent him some horrible texts last night, calling him evil and that hes ruined my life, and then we shouted on the phone for a bit, and ended up both crying again.
    Ive spoken to uni, and im taking a few days off my placement. Everyones been really good, and im going to speak to my facilitator next week about maybe a bit of compassionate leave. On one hand I know I should keep busy, but then on the other hand, I just dont know when im going to burst into tears, so im a bit of a liability at the moment.
    Got an appointment with housing advice next week, so am going to see about renting somewhere and whether i can get housing benefit, being that I have my name on a mortgage, but its untenable for me to actually live there with him, or to pay my mortgage myself if he moved out and I stayed.
    Just utterly confused.
    With regards to housing, I think you will be able to get your mortgage paid for like on the council. I am not completely sure though. Just ask them and see what they say.

    I don't even know if I have said a whole lot of shit, but I heard it from someone who broke up with her husband and she said she could get her mortgage paid, so i dunno.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please dont worry, i know that is easy to say but I'm a single mum too, and have had the shittest time with baby's dad. There were some days, like you, that I would be OK and happy and positive and other days when I just wanted to cry and dissapear. But things really do get better, and I'm sure that everything will work out Ok for you, i have my fingers crossed! ;)

    Take care x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just cant handle it anymore.

    Uh-huh?
    I feel like the car window has been opened and ive been chucked out onto the motorway. I have no job,

    Loser.
    a course which i cant concentrate on and have no interest in anymore. I have to try and find somewhere to live for me and my son, work out what benefits im entitled to, I have to try and just stop crying for a little while.

    Heh.
    I cant cope when he goes out now, I feel so jealous, even though i know it makes no difference. Ive moved into my mums while shes away on holiday, but it just brings it home how lonely i am. Ive never been single before - let alone a single mother. Apparently he hasnt loved me for years, but hasnt had the bollocks to tell me.
    I just dont know what to do, or where to start. I feel like im never going to be ok

    If life is hard, why can't you deal with this?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awww hunnie *big hug* you'll cope. I don't really have any advice I am afraid but I hope you will be ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    essex-hene wrote:
    Uh-huh?



    Loser.


    Heh.


    If life is hard, why can't you deal with this?!

    nice attitude :rolleyes:

    i know how you feel RB ,my situation isn't dissimilar to yours in parts, sometimes the lonliness is so bad you can't see a way out, and sometimes the sun shines through. you have your little boy and you have us.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    essex-hene wrote:
    Uh-huh?



    Loser.


    Heh.


    If life is hard, why can't you deal with this?!


    fuck off.

    you'll be banned soon anyway i should hope.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    essex-hene wrote:
    Uh-huh?
    Loser.
    Heh.
    If life is hard, why can't you deal with this?!

    Hey there, Monocunt.
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