If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Is this wrong?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok so I have been going out with my fella for nearly a year.
We used to do loads together and go everywhere but it just suddenly faded away. It's now at the point where he doesn't even suggest going out if it costs a little more than usual. I can't remember the last time he took me out for a drink, or paid me into the cinema, or even paid for dinner. I pay my own way for everything. Plus whenever we go anywhere I have to drive as he can't.
I'm basically saying he never takes me anywhere, I feel like i'm not worth taking out! I'm not saying he should go out and blow all his money on me, I just mean it would be nice sometimes.
He isn't short on money and doesn't mind spending money going out with his mates or spending money on himself. Just with me.
Am I being really selfish saying he should take me out?
I have explained this to him and he started saying, so i'm unhappy he doesn't spend more money on me? But that isn't what I'm saying or even suggested. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
We used to do loads together and go everywhere but it just suddenly faded away. It's now at the point where he doesn't even suggest going out if it costs a little more than usual. I can't remember the last time he took me out for a drink, or paid me into the cinema, or even paid for dinner. I pay my own way for everything. Plus whenever we go anywhere I have to drive as he can't.
I'm basically saying he never takes me anywhere, I feel like i'm not worth taking out! I'm not saying he should go out and blow all his money on me, I just mean it would be nice sometimes.
He isn't short on money and doesn't mind spending money going out with his mates or spending money on himself. Just with me.
Am I being really selfish saying he should take me out?
I have explained this to him and he started saying, so i'm unhappy he doesn't spend more money on me? But that isn't what I'm saying or even suggested. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
0
Comments
Maybe try suggesting doing some of the things that the 2 of you did when you first got together??
Maybe talk to him again, but focus on spending more time with him+explain that cos you have a car and pay for petrol, etc, you're shorter on money!
He has a much better job than me, he gets paid 2x more than what I get paid lol.
Now he seems to think all I want is for him to spend money on me!!!! :crazyeyes
I know I am.
As already posted ...
I think it could be your abrasive personality?
If we get this much grief for so little then how difficult must his life be?
Offer to take him to watch his favourite football team, on you. If he agrees then it's not that he wants to avoid spending time with you, it's either that he doesn't like the suggestions you make or that he can't afford to be paying for it. That might mean he's got financial problems you don't know about or you're being a little too financially demanding.
Id speak to him personally and find out what the crack is.A relationship need some spark and excitement to keep it on an even keel.I hope you can sort things out.
And im sure you are a lovely person!
I will ask him about it tomorrow when I see him. I hope you can sort things out too.
Yes, you like opinions that agree with you don't you!
Personally I wouldn't take advice from a person who has the same 'problem', but hasn't solved it.
You don't want to be treated like a lady, you want to be a spoilt princess.
Sorry my dear, you have to earn it.
I already said that I treat him and I suggest going places myself.
You don't even know me so stop judging people from what little information you have about them.
All I wanted is a few opinions and you're talking like i'm asking for the world. Just leave the board if you haven't got anything decent to say.
My little problem is nothing compared to yours ...
No. :cool:
You ask me to leave the whole board because you don't like what I said in your thread?
Arrogant much?
Unless you talk to him about how you are feeling, he's not gonna know. If you just sit there and let things stay the same, he's gonna think you're happy with things how they are.
if he never spends any time with you then yeah, it isn't good, and you need to have a word.
but if it's that he doesn't spend enough on you then i don't blame him. some of the most fun times i've had with my significant other haven't cost a penny. it's about the love, not the loot.
Its about him not making any effort to do anything or suggest anything!!
I completly and utterly agree with you that some of the best times spent with someone can not cost anything and this is the point im trying to make.
Its the thought and effort that counts not its monetary value.
And ginner - A spolit princess?! I dont think ive laughed so hard for ages. Thanks for that "dear". oh and one question. If a woman has to earn the right to be treated like a lady what exactly does this entail and does this same rule apply for men who want to be treated like gentleman?
To be treated like a lady then you must simply act like one.
Oh, and there are no advantages to being a gentleman whatsoever.
how do you know she doesnt act like one?! you seem very bitter but i dont think you should take it out on this poor girl. she's already said she pays for things and i dont think it is wrong of her to want to be taken out once in a while and for her man to show some interest in what they do together!
now im not sure if you are male or female but i am sure that i feel sorry for you if you have nothing better to do than to sit on here and try to pick a fight with an innocent person
I think it's unladylike to place demands upon another.
Male. I'll keep it in mind.
but its ok for a bloke to do it?
why cant a lady voice an opinion? or are we still living in the 50's when the little lady should be seen and not heard?
That's not what I'm saying at all.
If she's unhappy with her boyfriend, if he doesn't have the means to keep her happy then it's very unreasonable to place further demands upon him. If she's not content with him and he's unable or unwilling to change then she either accepts him as he is or moves on.
I've had a few overly demanding and far from understanding girlfriends in the past, if she doesn't like him for who he is and what he can offer then he's better off without her.
I'm all for equality in relationships and in society, for women to be self assured, motivated and independant. However if a woman wants to be treated as a lady then she must give the impression of being one.
she's already said he earns 2 times as much as she does!
Maybe he works harder? Maybe he has larger outgoings in bills? Maybe he's so tired all he wants to do is sleep?
Larger income doesn't mean larger disposable spending, nor the inclination to flash the cash.
but it does mean he has the means!
i dont think she's being unreasonable at all and i think that you're just being difficult. ok so you've had demanding girlfriends and thats probably clouding your opinion in this case, but i really think she is right, she shouldnt have to make the effort and if he always used to suggest things to do and now doesnt, something has changed. yeah he may be going off her etc but doesnt she have a right to know? and isnt it better she comes on here and asks our opinions rather than just demand to him he take her out and he spend his money on her? she's asking what she should do, she's not saying she's telling him he should spoil her