New Relationships

Former Member

Recently, when I start new relationships, I panic, and become suddenly over critical and quite unpredictable with the person I'm seeing. When most people are excited about the growing future possibilities and the new sex, I'm convincing myself that I'm being used/the person isn't right for me.

Am I a psycho? A paranoid mess? Or do I just need to get through the early days until I'm fully comfortable with the new person in my life?

Former Member

yeah just relax and see how they flow, stop questionning whether they are the right one for u, no one knows that! you can be together for years and split.
sounds like your paranoid, not all partners are out to use and abuse.

Former Member

I've been hurt in the past so I think it's damage limitation - but it's a habit I want to get out of

Former Member

ive been hurt in the past+i know how you feel. if you feel close to this girl, maybe you could discuss things with her, but i wouldnt go to in deep if you haven't been together long!
just try to relax and enjoy the start of a new relationship!

Former Member

Well, it's actually another guy not a girl hehe :thumb:

Perhaps if I ignore all pessimistic thoughts I can get beyond it. I just find people can't live up to the only man I've ever truly loved! God that sounds so soppy, haha.

Former Member

oh im sorry, my mistake!
listen, i used to think that no1 could live upto my ex, but ive found there's better people out there, even though i didnt think it was possible!
Remember; everyones special in their own way, and every one is different! it isnt fair on that person not to give them a chance, based on your past relationships!

Former Member

It's so strange how that paranoia can suddenly set in and make you run a mile. I have regretted breaking up with people also, Girl Interrupted.

I tend to prefer my relationships to start slowly and I often feel a little bit rushed. Well that's the excuse I manifested in my mind to break up with the last one. :rolleyes:

I feel I'm at the point that all these people can't be that flawed and maybe the problem lies in me. I should get a therapist or a lifestyle guru maybe!

Former Member

It's understandable why u feel paranoid, i was paranoid of all men after my ex, but my partner does show me that not all males are knob heads!

Former Member

Alan you sound exactly like me. Instead of trying to accept the relationship and get to know the person i pick faults with it and them and im utterly convinced they dont actually like me/using me/slagging me off behind my back.Like you ive even gone to the extreme of breaking up with people because of these petty paranoias based on nothing.
Its a bit of a problem in my current relationship.Which is totally crazy because i basically have the perfect guy but i still manage to pick faults with him or the relationship.
Personally i think its to do with the fact so many people have hurt me and im so used to that hurt that i cant except that anything might be fine or have no faults so i create them myself.Its so self destructive.
I guess i dont want to accept something might ever be perfect because what if i do and then somewhere down the line it turns sour.I couldnt begin to deal with that.
However what is life without risks?