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I lied about my virginity

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I didn't really know whether this should be in Relationships or not...

I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend....but he doesn't know!!

I had sort of always known him through friends and we got together one night at a party. At the time I just thought I'd just mess around with him for that night, I wasn't looking for a relationship with him as he has a reputation of being a bit of a man whore. We spent the whole night together but we didn't actually have sex. At this point was pretty desperate to lose my virginity, and seeing as he'd been so good (as in he was good at pleasing me!!)to me that night, the next week, I slept with him. I didn't tell him I was a virgin, in fact I lied and told him I'd slept with my last boyfriend. At the time i didn't want him to know, not exactly because I was embarrassed or I wanted to impress him, but because I didn't know him that well and I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing he had taken my virginity. I know, I know... it was wrong, and I don't regret sleeping with him but I do regret lying to him.

Two months on, we're not just still together, he is the most amazing person I've been with and I'm sure I'm falling in love with him. He has mentioned that he'd wished he'd lost his virginity to me, and I coaxed him into saying he wished I'd been a virgin. I feel really bad for lying to him, and now that I care so much about him, I'd like him to know that it was him who I lost my virginity to. But then that will mean admitting to him that I'd lied, and since then I've sort of built on that lie to the extent that I don't think I can bear owning up to it. I mean that I have really really lied about this one. I don't know whether to tell him or not. A part of me thinks that I should tell him, cos I love him and should be honest with him. Another part thinks that he'd be more hurt that I've been lying to him than pleased that i was a virgin. What do you think??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i kinda did the same thing recently. i told some friends that i wasn't a virgin when i am and im really embarssed now. i would only tell him if i was in a relationship with him, that way i would know that he wouldn't go around telling everyone that you gave him your virginity. hope thats some help
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just be honest with him he will respect u more
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, there is no point in lying about it. I don't understand why you did in the first place?

    No man worth his salt will dump someone for being a virgin.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like everyboy else has said there is no point in lying to him, tell him the truth and he will resect you, i know it will be hard but you can do it <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> good luck <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does it really matter? i mean from my view taking a girls virginity isn't that big(it sounds good), i know it is for girls

    but i would sooner take her love and happyness, anyway whats been done is done.. best not to "rock the boat" and tell him. unless its eatting you up inside. But i can't see him minding what ever you tell him

    Sure he wil be happy he has your love, and i hope you stop him
    being a bit of a man whore.

    <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you make a big thing out of telling him? i.e. did you give him details about u and your ex? If not, then just gracefully admit you were lying, you don't know why you did it etc. If you're falling in love with him then tell him hon <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> If you don't you'll always wish you had...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tell him the truth, he`ll be so chuffed, i dont think it was a bad lie, you had your reasons and were a bit shy. i think it would strengthen your relationship
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    honesty is the best policy! <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No i think sometimes honest is not the best policy(thats just what i think), but in this case you are right broken. it may not be the easy thing to do, but its the right thing to do <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just think how you would feel if the situation were reversed. Would you want to know if he had lied about being a virgin or not? I would. I wouldn't be bothered about the fact that he had lied but I would probably be all smiley and stuff just for knowing I was his first <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I ain't sure why. <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> I'm a bit loopy that way!
    Just tell him. I'm sure he won't be bothered.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its best that u tell him the truth. Just tell him that ur embarrassed about it n tell him u only did because u didnt think that it was gonna last. My boyf lied to me sayin he was a virgin wen he wasnt. He did tell me the truth well before we had sex but wen i found out i was quite upset, duno why maybe because he'd been there before n i hadnt. Im glad he did tell me tho insted of me thinkin he'd lost it to me wen he hadnt really! Gudluck <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think hed be bothered
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    girl,the truth will always set you free....!so go on let him know.

    good luck <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him, its teht hing to do. he may well be disappoinrted you lied, but hell be flattered enough that he knows you trust him. The truth is easier about something like this, its not as if youve been cheating.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    think about it this way
    it is easier than saying you are pregnant.
    so tell him, he will love you for it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh you lot are all wonderful people. I was really set on not telling him, then all your replies made me change my mind.

    I told him today and he was totally understanding and really happy that I'd told him and that he was my first....so happy he told me he loved me for the first time. He said the fact that I admitted it to him made up for the fact that I'd lied. I'm so glad I told him, it's a huge weight off my mind and it's made him happy when I seriously thought he'd break up with me because of it.

    Thank you!!!

    [ 22-04-2002: Message edited by: ariadne ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honesty is the best policy!!
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