Home Drink & Drugs
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Parents reactions to drugs

SystemSystem Posts: 8,649 Staff Team
Okay, here's one for all of you.

We've been contacted by a weekend newspaper to answer a question for them:

"What should a parent do if he or she found a lump of dope in their 15 year old's pocket".

Instead of us answering this ourselves, we thought we'd ask you guys. So what we wanna know, is how would you want *your* parents to react?

What would be the best way for them to approach the issue? What would completely backfire? What if they tried to punish you?

Any thoughts much appreciated.

Dom

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As I've never taken drugs myself I may not be qualified enough to answer this question. But oh well I'll give it a bash.

    I think this is a tough question because different people will react in different ways. If it was me who was found with Coke in my pocket then I would probably want my mum to talk to me and not just yell at me. I'm sure it would be my mums first instinct to say "what the hell are you doing taking drugs? You should know better" blah blah blah. That would just get me more annoyed and I would end up yelling back!

    But if my mum was to approach me in the more understanding way then I would probably be more likely to talk to my mum about the drugs.

    I don't think my mum could possibly punish me because she can't watch me 24/7. Maybe sending me to my grans house for a month would be a pretty bad punishment <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    The understanding approach would probably work for me but not for other kids!

    The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've aint been there and done that, but i got a load of a mates that do it.

    and i've found this (and it should seem fairly obvious):

    if the kid has the dope, it means he wants to try it. there is no way in hell that parent can stop in trying it. so there is no point going ott and shouting and ranting and raving and screaming and grounding and things. instead, let them try it, be chilled about it, and if u trust them with drugs, they'll trust u.

    two examples of this:

    on mate, now 18. started when he was about 15 or 16 i guess, and hid it from him 'rents for teh first like 6 months. he took what i guess was a bad batch or summin and had to tell his 'rents. his father and mother both said "we're glad u told us, no big deal that u take it etc". he got his probs sorted and he started smoking up again. one day his dad came to him and asked if the both of them could smoke up together one day. (he positively freaked, needless to say). and yeah, since then he's extremely controlled about it and it doesn't do him any harm.

    other example, why NOT to freak.

    he aint told his 'rents, he's been doing weed for a few years. he buys a shit load of it, smokes up b4 and after school, all that shit. he knows his 'rents will freak, and he does it to spite them. it's a game to him, and more he smokes up, the more he is winning the game.

    so parents should not freak, they gotta calm and chill and educate. not hard, really?

    Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, they definitely gotta just talk about it.

    If my parents found out and started yelling then I'd probably do even more just to spite them and be too obstinate to stop even if they did apologise afterwards.

    If they actually spoke about it and didn't try to stop me but said how worried they were then I'd probably try to stop anyway.

    In spite of all that, if I had a bad relationship with my parents I wouldn't care what they thought and I'd just ignore them anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk about it, explain the highs and lows, give your own personal opinions, dispose of the drug (not via police) and basically make sure the child has the knowledge and responsiblity for the future...

    Just don't shout or get angry, it doesn't work, don't use scare tactics cause they don't work either.. you could explain that your not happy about it, but accept that your never going to be there 24:7 to dictate what the child is going to do, at least teach them the FACTS and be there for them should they ever need to talk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well hi!!
    I am 15!! and i often carry my dope around wiv me..but have yet been caught wiv it. If i was caught wiv dope, my mum wld go absolutely mental on me, and probley kick me out. I wld want my mum to talk 2 me about it, and understand why i do it. i think there shld be sumwhere 4 her to find out the facts onnit, so she knows what its all about. It wldnt work, my mum punishing me, bcoz i wld still do it behind her back, so she wld have to understand why i do it, and execpt it. coz i will do it whateva she says. best way 4 her to react is gimme space 4 me n mates to do it, where she can make sure im safe if shes worried, so im not caught out sumwhere, or do it irrespncibly wiv other ppl. so she can keep an eye on me and just accept it.
    xxxxxxxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chickadee:
    If they actually spoke about it and didn't try to stop me but said how worried they were then I'd probably try to stop anyway.

    Probably the only thing a parent could do in the situation. But whether it would be effective.....

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive never been in that situation, but I'll reply anyway.

    Shouting at the kid would not work at all. It would just make him/her upset and annoyed and their idea of a remedy would be to smoke some more dope, or go further and try a worse drug, or something. The parent would have to sit down and talk to him/her, ask why, where he/she got it, how long they've had it, etc.

    From there, the parent could do what they feel appropriate, but the best thing would be to confiscate the dope and make sure the kid would not want to get old of any more. Note: not forbid it, just advise strongly against it. Make clear how disappointed the parent would be if it happened again.

    This is a tricky issue. Of course it depends on how the kid behaves generally; circumstances are important. But the main thing is not to act like a dictator, but to try to understand the situation.

    Wow, that was my longest post ever! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"&gt;

    *~stellar~*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been in this situation b4 with my parents and being a parent myself I think I know what I would do and also what my child would want me to do.
    Everyone would hope their parents would accept that they done it and not go mad but the majority of parents probably wouldnt do this. I think the best way u could handle this situation and the way I like to think I would handle it would be to keep as calm about it as poosible. I dont think going mad and baning them from going out or anything else drastic will actually help matters. In my oppinion if u r gonna do it u will do it regardless and often parents going mad makes a child rebel and do it all the more. I think that I would not accept my child doing it but basically say if he is gonna do it I cant stop him but Im not going to be ok about it. I would stop giving him money so I was in no way responsable for him doing it and I would make it clear that what he does is his responsabilit and he would have to face the consequences of his own actions.
    Hope that is kind of what u r looking for!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my parents are cool with me doing drugs and i tell them everything so its all cool.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all this.

    Dom
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a parent. I find this site of great interest. Though some of the writings appear arrogant and thought-less. ie"Its ALL great and we should take as much as possible". Not ALL drugs suit ALL people. Some people really should't do any drugs as they are already messed up and emotionally not strong enough to cope.
    Some parents find it difficult to believe that their kids could ever do such things as take drugs, they are frightened because they may be ignorant. Some parents believe its OK as they have tried them too. As a teenager I only really had the choice of dope or speed. The only thing that parents can do is give as much CORRECT/SAFE information to their kids as poss. Drugs have their down sides as well as their up sides. Education is of paramount importance so that kids can be Safe. Safe is, the People you are with, the Location, the quality and pedigree of drug, and the sensible moderation. (I.E.) 5 pills in 1 night is possibly a little exessive! There is no point in kids being given only one side of the story. They hear so much good stuff about it all that they will very likely try anyway. If you are all going to do them please be safe. Always have a good mate with you, they can keep an eye on you and visa versa. Always buy off someone you trust. Find out as much info as poss about what you are about to do. There are loads of info out there.
    Good Sound info is the key.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lolly:
    basically say if he is gonna do it I cant stop him but Im not going to be ok about it. I would stop giving him money so I was in no way responsable for him doing it and I would make it clear that what he does is his responsabilit and he would have to face the consequences of his own actions.

    That's a really good idea Lolly <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; But it would probably be quite difficult to carry out, because despite being disappointed in the kid you're still going to love him and worry about him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi well about a month ago or so my parents found out that i smoked draw, My parents had never tried drugs in their lives and wernt in to the drug scean. amazingly they just told me that they loved me and didnt want me to be in danger. they went off and did there own reasearch in to the drug and came back to me with information about it.
    they dont like me doing it but its my decision andthey respct that, and i always tell them what im doing just so they feel like they have some input in to my life. and im 15 btw
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wildchild:
    That's a really good idea Lolly <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; But it would probably be quite difficult to carry out, because despite being disappointed in the kid you're still going to love him and worry about him.

    Ofcourse I will worry (especially if I think he is turning out anything like me!) and I wont be happy about it at all but Id teach him and make sure that if he is gonna do it at all he is gonna do it safely <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;


Sign In or Register to comment.