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Kids eh?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Was sent this e-mail about the things kids write at school... thought I'd share...

• This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

• Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

• If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
(Wayne age 7)

• I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

• A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head.
(Billy age eight)

• My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

• When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

• I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 6)

• I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

• Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

• My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish
(Laura age 5)

• When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

• When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun.
(Lauren age 7)

• A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)

• When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6)

• Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age eight)

• On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.
(Julie age 6)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    • I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
    (Amy age 6)

    • When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun.
    (Lauren age 7)

    That first one is really tragic and the second one is a bit nasty but funny.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    • A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head.

    • When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.

    • On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny.

    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bless them ;p
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    Ahhh, kids, eh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    • I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
    (Kylie age 6)

    haha gotta love that one! :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought that they're great, having kids of a similar age, I've lost count at the number of times I've been in fits of laughter at the things they've said.

    I partculary thought these were good.
    • My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish
    (Laura age 5)

    I want to meet Laura's Mum :naughty:
    • When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
    (Kevin age 6)

    I think Kevin shares a plea of anguish for most men there...
    • When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun.
    (Lauren age 7)

    You can't knock a practical lesson in sex-ed can you...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    • If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent.
    (Wayne age 7)

    that's my favourite.

    my nephew is just coming up to that age now where he says hilarious things. this is his best to date:


    him: aunty kat, you've got small boobies'

    me: well, i don't know wills, i mean, they're not exactly huge, but...

    him: i think they're small. small like my mummy's.

    me: ok, so who's got big boobies?

    him: my pre-school lady, nana holly, great-grandma and daddy.

    me: your daddy?

    him: (nods) my daddy's got bigger boobies than you.

    now i thought he was just being cheeky, but then i saw their holiday photos and he's right. his daddy does have bigger boobies than me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    A couple of kind of funny things my nephew (almost 4) said:
    Some policeman: Hello, what's your name?
    Him: <name>
    Policeman: Do you go to school?
    Him: What kind of a policeman are you, that you can't see I'm of the age for kindergarten(sp?) and not school?

    (Another day)
    Nephew: (to a woman next to him) Hi, are you a mum or a grandma?
    Woman: I'm a mum.
    Nephew: (stares at her for a moment) I don't think so! You must be a grandma.
    (She was!)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ha ha!! so funny! lttle kids come out with the best :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what i thought was funny, was when i was on work experience in may and i went to a primary school and worked in the reception/year 1 class so they were 4/5. and 1 lesson they were all sat around the carpet taking about food...and the teacher was telling them about meat, so they were talking about animals where we get meat from...and the teacher asked
    ''does anyone know what comes from cows?''
    and 1 of the kids went
    ''scrambled eggs''
    i thought it was so funny!!
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