God what have I done !

Former Member

Right, it's dificult for me to admit this but im gonna have a try ......


To cut a very long stroy short, me and the wife (8 year) have not been getting on for the last two years. Have been arguing on and off each week over very minor things that eventually escalte into a massive row.

This has affected our love life badly and last year we made love only four times. This year so far only twice !

Last weekend we had another big row, so I stormed out and visited a massage parlour ...

I dont know what made me do it but I just went and did not even think about what I was doing.

I received a massage, some oral sex (with a condom) and a handjob which resulted in me having an orgasm.

At the time I have to admit I really enjoyed it ... I have only ever had a sexual relationship with my wife ... so this was the first time another woman had touched me in this way.

Now, a few days later I feel very gulity, It has made me realise how much I do love my wife and what a fool I have been.

I will not be confessing as this really will be the end, and I am 100% certain I will never do it again ... The guilt is killing me ... and probably quite rightly so !

Im not really after advice just wanted to tell people and see what they think and how much of a low life I must be !

Thanks for listening.

x.

Former Member

What you did was obviously wrong, but you're not a lowlife, mistakes happen. You were in a bad place and weren't thinking about what you were doing. I'm sure that if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have done it.

I know you said you weren't looking for advice, but you know yourself that what you did was wrong and I would suggest telling your wife what happened. You say that this would be the end of you two, but do you really want to carry on in a relationship where you have to hide your actions and feelings from her? If you are feleing so guilty and ashamed she will proabably pick up on it anyway and it may come out in other forms (like you taking it out on her).

I always say that honesty is the best policy no matter what. You never know, maybe it would be the wake up call you both need.

Former Member

You made a stupid mistake,but its done and you're right,if you confess that will be the end of it.What's more concerning is that you only had sex 4 times last year! This can't be right and shows there is something deeply wrong in your relationship.Just for this problem alone,I'm sure your wife would agree that you should go to marriage guidance/counselling.

Former Member

I re-read my reply then and thought,what do I know? I hardly have any experience of relationships and you have been married for 8 years! So,believe me,I far from know it all or know what you are going through,but I have read quite a lot on relationships in magazines and I was just wondering whether your lack of sex is a result of all the argueing,or whether really some of the argueing might be a result of the lack of sex-if that makes sense! :crazyeyes

Former Member

It does make sense Jemzbabez - From my point of view the arguing is the result of lack of sex. I find it very frustrating that no matter what I do be it things round the house, romantic gestures or taking her out / holidays ! ... there is still very little in the way of sex !

From her point of view I can't honestly say why ?

x

Former Member

ChewIT wrote:

It does make sense Jemzbabez - From my point of view the arguing is the result of lack of sex. I find it very frustrating that no matter what I do be it things round the house, romantic gestures or taking her out / holidays ! ... there is still very little in the way of sex !

From her point of view I can't honestly say why ?

Have you asked her? What does she say?

For the record I don't think you're a low life, I think you did something that you obviously regret deeply and you will have to live with the guilt.

However, you're going to have to take the lead in trying to sort out these problems together. If there are problems in a relationship they have to be sorted out within the relationship, the answer never lies elsewhere, but I think you know that.

You're going to have to sit her down and talk about it calmly, without laying any blame. You're entitled to that, after all, it's your marriage too and this is affecting it, profoundly. If she won't talk, tell her she can't evade it forever or eventually the marriage will break down.

If anyone ever thought sex wasn't an important part of a marriage, they're wrong. Just ask someone who isn't having any.

Former Member

mistakes happen? lol plz ill show the person what a mistake is

Former Member

now i would agree with people and say you're not a low life, at least you have that feeling of guilt...but if i were reading this from your wifes point of view i would have a totally different opinion of you!

then again we all make mistakes, just make sure you learn from it.

and confessing, as you said, isnt an option...but you need to let go of the guilt or it'll show and affect your relationship even more.

Former Member

simple solution; just slip it in when she aint lookin!

Former Member

n00b1e wrote:

simple solution; just slip it in when she aint lookin!

What are you on today?

I thought you were pissing off to get some hair implants on your palms anyway...

Former Member

do you have the telephone number of the parlour?