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inferiority
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
I was just wondering has anyone ever felt so inferior to their best friend it gets them down? Like really down? :crying:
Like my best mate is so pretty, confident, chatty and has a perfect figure. She gets any fella she wants. It just annoys me so much that I'm like a shadow of her, I'll hang out with her and when she runs into one of her friends (from a group of people where literally NONE of them like me - I know that for definite) she'll chat away but I'm left hovering in the background.
wb
Like my best mate is so pretty, confident, chatty and has a perfect figure. She gets any fella she wants. It just annoys me so much that I'm like a shadow of her, I'll hang out with her and when she runs into one of her friends (from a group of people where literally NONE of them like me - I know that for definite) she'll chat away but I'm left hovering in the background.
wb
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Yes. My best friend at school was a) an absolute bitch, but b) confident. She wasn't particularly pretty, but she had confidence and that made everyone think she was gorgeous when she wasn't, including me.
I left school, I haven't seen her since. Do I care? No.
Does she know how you feel? And does she know none of her other friends like you and you feel uncomfortable? If the answer to that is yes, and she still does the same, I think she's a bit of a bitch tbh...
PM me if you need to talk or anything, I've been in that situation and it's not nice.
to be honest, people like that will always seem more likeable to others at first. Most people find a chatty and confident person easier to approach. Its all people have to go by; they dont know whats underneath.
Assuming you are the opposite to her, it just means that it will take you longer to make new friends, and as a result of this your friends will be better because they will have made the effort to see what you are about deep down, and they wont have gone on first impressions like the sorts of people that like your friend
I think she knows they don't like me but I've never said I feel uncomfortable around them. She prob thinks the opposite actually, cos I'd fancied one of em and did some stupid things I shouldn't have and my friends still believe I fancy im. So she prob thinks I like being around them.
I don't like talking face-to-face about stuff...that's the problem.
And thanks Blah, I loved your post. :wave:
But I think you should tell her, because she won't do anything about it if she doesn't know.
Yeah I guess so. She'll understand letters, she's written me a few before.
see when people say thigns like this i never quite understand it, if they were an absolute bitch, then why were they your best friend?!
My best friend is forever leaving me hovering in the background that i beleive she does it on puropose to try and make herself out to look really popular.
I dont colude with it anymore,just let her get on with it.
Ive made a group of friends who dont care about how cool they look and dont try and make me feel like shit and i can say that ive never felt better about things.
Either speak to your friend about this,or leave her to it,im positive there are so many other people who are prepares to treat you well and not feel inferior...
I could have written that! Although I have seen her since. Once, bumped into her in a pub and she waved an engagement ring in my face before gliding off again. And about the bitch thing, to try and explain to Beans, I honestly don't know why we were best friends! There must have been something there in the beginning! In time I met other people and we lost touch a lot, so I guess at the time I just needed a friend, however awful she was!
Thing was, if it ever came close to me telling her how much she hurt me, she'd amazingly manage to turn it around, and cry, and suddenly it would be all about how awful I was, and how I was such an evil best friend. Good God, why on earth did I put up with it?! :banghead:
but the fact is that being confident and pretty and fab and at all the good parties doesn't make you a better person that the quiet mouse-like person in the corner. it just makes you different.
i know it all seems terribly important when you're in your formative years, but there'll come a time when the fact that you were popular at school/college/uni means chuff all.
As always, I have to agree with kaffrin. I used to be exactly the same as you in school. My best mate wasn't a bitch, but she had a stunning figure (which I didn't), good dress sense (which I didn't), nice hair (which I didn't), the ability to get on with boys (which I didn't)...you get the idea. As a result I spent a lot of my teenage years racked with jealousy, wishing I could be more like her, feeling totally overshadowed by her and hating myself.
But then I came to uni, and she stayed behind for a year out. I was on my own, met a whole new group of people and totally changed. I became more confident because the people I was meeting had no idea I used to be the "plain one" - in effect I re-invented myself and left the old me behind. Me and my friend still get on great but when I see her I no longer feel jealous - I feel on a level with her and no longer feel the need to beat myself up about not matching up to her.
My advice to you is try not to dwell on it all the time. Things WILL improve as you get older and become more self-confident. This friendship may well not last forever as it seems a bit unbalanced...I'm sure that sooner or later you will find a group of mates to boost your confidence (like I did) and that will enable you to feel happier with who you are
wtf?
I'm confused too!
I also agree, but it is important if you don't make it past 18.
Actually feel really angry at being accused of having made stuff up but can't be arsed to argue. Think what you like, I don't care.
thing is although in your eyes your friend may have a better figure etc it doesnt always mean they do. on the guys front, we like different things in girls and i guarentee some guys will think you nicer than your friend. confidence does have a lot to do with it, generally louder girls attract more attention, but empty cans rattle most (i.e. the people who are empty and don't have much to shout about are the ones makin all of the racket)
I know it's hard but try not to get down, quite often in life we spend so much time focusing on where we want to be that we miss the good things about where we are now.
take care xoxo