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Why do women that get beat up by their boyfriends still stay with the bastard?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
this girl i know told me that when the boyfriend gets angry, he would hit her and throw her around. i asked her why the love shes still with the asshole, and she said she loves him. what the fuck? how daft is that? now i know some women try to push their man to see how far they can go, but i would never hit the girl. id walk away before i get to that point.
i would shake her to bits though.
i would shake her to bits though.
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In extreme cases this can lead to partners staying in abusive relationships such as you mention here. The person must want to break this cycle and then the most likely route is some sort of therapy to confront the childhood experiences...
Theres always help out there for anyone in this situation,dont be a victim. :angel:
"Because it shows he cares"
Basically she would hit for a reaction, he would explode and then they would fuck like rabbits and make up for a few weeks. Horrible cycle of behaviour and I am glad she got out before it all went truly sour. I know for a fact that she still misses the highs of the relationship, but isn't willing to pay for them with the lows anymore.
Oh, and props to Moonglitter.
:wave:
You're right, nobody is perfect. But those who physically abuse other people are complete nobheads.
hows emotionally hurting someone differnt from physically hurting them?? both hurt like hell, both are deliberate...... most people just love them inspite of it, im sure he loves me inspite of things... i dont know
:wave:
why should you swallow the shit thats being served to you? you have the capability to improve the quality of life. have some respect for yourself, woman.
This is just my personal opinion but when someone continues to deliberately harm their partner (male or female), that's not love. And deliberately emotionally hurting someone is no better than a slap. But that's just what I think.
I didn't say anything about emotionally abuse because that isn't what this topic about. Physical abuse is both physical and emotional. He doesn't love you.
:wave: :wave: :wave:
Oh my mistake i didnt know you knew us personally! everyones situation is different and this is one i choose to live with, and before you all judge what you dont know, he's hit me 3 times in a year long relationship to me thats not a lot, dont get me wrong i think its wrong and i havent completely forgiven him but i do love him
Everyone makes mistakes, don't worry about it.
Sorry i guess im a little sensitive bout the whole thing :chin: probably trying to tell myself something huh? well im sorry when i read that back it was bitchy,
:wave:
I lashed out at an ex partener a few times and I'm not proud of it, yet I did love them and hated the effect it had and beat myself up for ages over this.
Ive since come to realise there were a lot of issues there and Ive never repeated it but its no excuse for what I did.
Phoenix
If a man hits a woman, or a woman hits a man, then that person obviously doesn't respect that person. People who respect each other don't hit each other.
If you think that a lack of respect is still loving behaviour, then good luck to you. I don't think it is, and most people don't think it is, but if you enjoy being hit then go for it.
Personally I think women go back for more because they refuse to believe that it's real, and that the man really does have that little respect for them. They think he'll change, they believe the pathetic apologies, and they don't get hit again- until the next time.
Yeah, I'm sorry too. I just don't like to see people with little self respect. You need to feel special and abuse won't make you feel special. :angel:
http://www.bennett.com/ptv/index.shtml
Its the same reason people stay in shit relationships even when there is no violence. Just reminscing and expecting it to go back to how it used to be.
No they're not. They're just not supposed to retaliate by repeatedly beating their partner.
Walk away if a relationship is abusive. You owe it to yourself.
the only reason i can think why someone, boy or girl, would remain in a shitty relationship is LACK OF SELF-RESPECT. i think that they so lack the CONFIDENCE that they will find a better one out there. which i believe is a terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible thing. they live in DENIAL.
why would you like to get hurt, emotionally or physically? (unless theyre a masochist, then their saddist partner is perfect) where is the respect if the other person always hurts the other, intentionally or unintentionally? if someone has the SENSE to realise the the partner gets hurt because of his/her actions, shouldnt that person do all he/she can to change the attitude?
with the proper relationships ive been in, i never hit a girl when we would get into a fight. emotionally, sadly yes, cos well its almost always inevitavble in an intense argument. theres this one time that she got pissed so much (my fault though) that she started hitting me (at the body, i just dodged whenever the blows got too high or too low
so why live in denial? how daft can that be? why dream of the good times if the bad times just keep coming back, ESPECIALLY if its the same reason, the same reaction, the same situation EVERY TIME? thats not love. :yuck:
Right,why live in denial?... I believe if i had had the abuse i had suffered from day one of our relationship i would have walked from the first sign of any violence/verbal abuse. As i had spent 3 years with this man who had been loving,caring even respectful i truly believed things would get back to the way they were. Unfortunately when we had our 3 month break he became dependant on class A drugs to get him through that time resulting in him getting into lots of debt with some real dodgy peeps,he bought all this back into our relationship and consequently the rest is history! Also when i actually look back on it now the abuse i suffered seems so awful i really cant understand what was going on in my own head back then to stay putting up with it for a year and a half,although saying that there are some women that put up with this behaviour through their whole lives,they must truely end up severely mentally disturbed.I say this because as a result of this violence on myself for that short time my reaction to his behaviour was to self harm,something im really not proud of!Through pure fear i never retaliated so i carried around a lot of pent up anger which at that time i then took out on myself,stupid huh,perhaps i should have given him a good beating,i would now i tell you,any man put a hand on me now they had best sleep with one eye open!
No disrespect meant and I'm not speaking from a position of any particular authority on the subject, but I think you would have to have actual experience of the thought processes involved, rather than trying to map your own mental landscape onto the problem, in order to understand.
It's altogether possible that the women (and men) involved don't really know themselves why they stay and only fairly intensive therapy would be able to bring out the actual problem and break the cycle. If abusive relationships are what you are used to then 'normal' relationships may seem weird and out of place to you(?).
Thats the main reason that iv stuck it out, cos when its good it SO good but when its bad.... its not so good
:wave: