Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Fear of rejection

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I just nicked this idea off an another post here.

Fear of rejection - how to get around it? Especially as I've got rejected every time i made my emotions clear to a girl. Now I think that every time I tell someone I fancy them, I'll be rejected. And each time I got rejected, I could hear my ego and self confidence collapse. :crying:

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nmrmak wrote:
    I just nicked this idea off an another post here.

    Clearly. :yeees:

    Only kidding.

    I'd be interested to see what people have to say about this too, actually. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nmrmak wrote:
    Fear of rejection - how to get around it?

    you keep trying. you need to face your fear. :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, it's just a thing of self confidence...
    I don't look that bad, and I have just average social skills. But it seems that I just don't have the talent to have that kind of relationships with girls :S

    I know that one day, there will be a gal that I'll like and be liked back, but it would be nice if that happened some time soon.

    Oh, and the only times i tell someone I fancy them, it's when I really really do. Like, after I've thought a bit about it, and when the feelings get really strong.

    ETA: Sadly, it can be a sort of an enchanted circle sometimes...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nmrmak wrote:
    I just nicked this idea off an another post here.

    Fear of rejection - how to get around it? Especially as I've got rejected every time i made my emotions clear to a girl. Now I think that every time I tell someone I fancy them, I'll be rejected. And each time I got rejected, I could hear my ego and self confidence collapse. :crying:
    I thought you had a girlfriend.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -[MoonRat]- wrote:
    I thought you had a girlfriend.
    That is a very complicated thing. If you are thinking about the "A place for sex" thread, i was only planning things back then. And I did that because I care for people too much, and don't want to hurt anyone. So if it came to having sex with that girl, i would have to have things planned in advance. I am confused about it myself. However, I know that every time I had real feelings for a girl, I got rejected. I did kiss with a couple of girls, but I never had a gf, nor did I have real feelings for any of them.

    I hope that makes any sense, I am very tired as I'm writing this :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The way I get around it is just to keep trying and trying...the law of probability, given that your approach is ok, says that you are bound to be successful eventually, and when you are, being in a relationship I want to be in brings me so much happiness and memorable experiences that when it comes around to trying to enter another relationship, I keep these rewards on my mind, until I eventually get them...

    I broke up with someone a month or so ago but I can say whilst I was with this girl, it would rank among the best periods of my life...I got to travel to different countries, learn about cultural differences, spend a lot of time sharing interests with someone I actually loved (and that is the first time I have experienced such an emotion for real)...I am gonna try and bear this in mind when I get out on the pull again (that is, when my broken heart is completely mended - and I am hoping it nearly is ;) )
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try try try again Try to remember they are human too and not an alien species
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jim_b wrote:
    The way I get around it is just to keep trying and trying...the law of probability, given that your approach is ok, says that you are bound to be successful eventually, and when you are, being in a relationship I want to be in brings me so much happiness and memorable experiences that when it comes around to trying to enter another relationship, I keep these rewards on my mind, until I eventually get them...

    I broke up with someone a month or so ago but I can say whilst I was with this girl, it would rank among the best periods of my life...I got to travel to different countries, learn about cultural differences, spend a lot of time sharing interests with someone I actually loved (and that is the first time I have experienced such an emotion for real)...I am gonna try and bear this in mind when I get out on the pull again (that is, when my broken heart is completely mended - and I am hoping it nearly is ;) )

    That was a nice response. I guess that the best feeling in the world is being with someone you love. Too bad I haven't fully experienced that yet :)

    I try not to lose hope. However, I'm not the person who goes out on the pull. I'd rather meet the person in some everyday situation, get to know her better, and when i start having feelings for her, that's the real thing. I just can't fall in love while on the pull, it's not the same thing.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the one time I plucked up the courage and told a girl from my school (who I'd been freinds with online more than at school I guees) I'd like to go out with her, she said yes...

    unfortunately, she meant just as freinds, and I got completely the wrong end of the stick :p crushed...? me..?

    very :(

    ah well, life goes on, in fact I met a beautiful blonde girl at a party of a freind of a freind, and we're still together 3 years later :thumb:

    so the moral of this story is - it is inevitable that you will get crushed, but in the end it will pay off! :yes:

    unfrotunately, getting to the point of telling said girl you want to go out with them is just as hard :blush:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just be confident.so even if all goes to hell you still look calmn, cool and under control. My b/f took a huge rejection risk with me but he seemed so in control i just followed along and six months later everything is perfect and he has since confessed how nervous he really was that day
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nmrmak wrote:
    That was a nice response. I guess that the best feeling in the world is being with someone you love. Too bad I haven't fully experienced that yet :)

    I try not to lose hope. However, I'm not the person who goes out on the pull. I'd rather meet the person in some everyday situation, get to know her better, and when i start having feelings for her, that's the real thing. I just can't fall in love while on the pull, it's not the same thing.

    well the person I met whilst out 'on the pull' lives in my uni halls, so I knew her before hand...bumping into her whilst in a club seemed to be the easiest way ;)
Sign In or Register to comment.